Weddings are such flowery places bursting with positivity, laughter, and cameras, right? It's always great to attend weddings, but if I'm honest, most of the time we look forward to the food choices laid out before us.

These days, people try to match their wedding food to the wedding theme. A Harry-Potter-themed wedding I attended decades ago served Harry Potter macarons, Owl-shaped pastries, baked golden snitches, and whatnot.

A budget wedding I attended a couple of years ago served only sandwiches. The point is, when you attend a wedding, you're attending as a guest.

Most of the time you don't get to choose what you'd prefer to eat or drink. If you're lucky, they'd arrange something for you, but oftentimes, it's a one-size-fits-all menu.

The next thing to worry about is what you'll gift the bride and groom. If they're your very best friends, you'd give them the world if you could, but if you hardly know them and are attending because they're family, things get complicated.

Thank goodness for wedding gift registries, but in the absence of one, you're screwed. The cherry on that confusion cake or the salt on the wound is this bride's 'tiered' wedding menu.

And I thought I've seen it all... Go ahead, check this out.

This bride's menu is a jaw-dropper.

"Please circle your gift level..."

So If I'm broke and have less than $250 to gift, I might as well stop by McDonald's and treat myself to some dignified serving of food.

The motto is the bigger the gift, the better the food you'll be served. The bride also came up with stages of gifting.

The way I understand it:

• Loving Gift: Spare yourself the trouble
• Silver Gift: We'll miss you, or maybe we won't.
• Golden Gift: Promise us you'll come.
• Platinum Gift: You HAVE to come because we've got so much planned for you! You're our special, special guest.

Also, if you're a vegan or a vegetarian, you'd best cough up a Platinum Gift or starve back home.

The look on people's faces when they see who's eating roast chicken.

Don't you think people would slyly want to check on what others are eating? That's the look someone gets when they're seen eating roast chicken or swordfish.

You know where you stand roast chicken eater!

via GIPHY

The look you get when you're eating fillet mignon or lobster...

I mean, I could go on, but you get the point. If you and someone you know are sitting at the same table, both reading the Platinum menu...

via GIPHY

But what's worse is that vegans and vegetarians are deeply punished.

According to this bride's tiered menu, vegetarian and kosher meals are available only on the Platinum Gift level. To qualify for this level, your cash gift should be between $1,001 and $2,500.

If you're a vegan or a vegetarian, you'd better be rich enough to afford your meal or gift the couple with love and go straight to a restaurant that'll serve you and prevent you from being judged.

In Summary...

A lot of people think this is a fundraiser dinner and not a bride's wedding dinner, but that doesn't make it less tacky and horrific.

What would you do if you received this kind of invitation? Would you go and/or how would you respond to it?

The comment box is all yours!