Unfortunately, men are rarely shy about expressing their opinion. Even more unfortunately, they like to comment on the appearance of women. For some bizarre reason, they actually expect their opinion to matter to us. What’s more; they tend to expect us to change how we look according to their preferences. Which is weird enough when it comes from a man we know and (possibly) like.
But why do men that we don’t know feel the need to offer up their opinion on how we look? This is a problem that many women have to deal with, not only in their personal lived, but also in a professional setting. Not only is it messed up, it is also completely inappropriate.
Stories and opinions please: I complimented a graduate student’s amazing sparking pineapple earrings at a conference and she told me she keeps getting told to not wear anything that ‘stands out’ - including prints, large jewellery, and bold colors! 🤯— Joleah Lamb (@JoleahLamb) July 26, 2019
I just made my appointment for my second tattoo 🤷🏻♀️ and gonna redye my fire engine red hair this weekend. Got yelled at by an engineer at Chevron via linkedin for it. In my opinion commenting on someone's appearance is more unprofessional than what I have on my arms or hair. pic.twitter.com/U5jrHawAFl— Stephanie E Suarez (@geologiststephy) July 27, 2019
A man on professional networking website, LinkedIn, decided to share his opinion on Suarez's (amazing) hair colour.
Engineers at Chevron apparently. Him hitting on me is what started it. When I posted it on a public post asking for this to stop, people told me I was being unprofessional. I got a ton of hate messages. So I deleted my LinkedIn because I didn't feel safe on there anymore. pic.twitter.com/5LQczeV6mR— Stephanie E Suarez (@geologiststephy) July 27, 2019
Suarez initially called out the man who made the comments, however received so much backlash that she removed the post.
Also omg, my updates have not stopped. I wish I woulda saved the names of every creep that threatened me when I initially shared his name on a post on linkedin but I was so emotionally distraught and just wanted it to all go away.— Stephanie E Suarez (@geologiststephy) July 28, 2019
The worst part? Even some of Suarez's women peers thought she was out of line.
Simply for speaking up about professional harassment.
Found one of the response I got on that day. Didn't save her name tho. You can imagine what I was feeling when not only was I harassed, I had women geologist, who I thought would stand in solidarity with me, ridiculing how I handled being harassed. pic.twitter.com/uLwCvNpifM— Stephanie E Suarez (@geologiststephy) July 28, 2019
Did you HAVE to? Really?
"I had to express my candid feelings" pretty much sums up any dude who wants to go jump in someone's Dms to bitch about hair color.— Well Redneck (@WellRedneck) July 28, 2019
Suarez isn't the only scientist that has received harassment via LinkedIn, a "professional" networking service.
Some guy from India told me I look like a porn star instead of a scientist and I shoudnt wear makeup in my profile photo if it’s going to be used to attract men since LinkedIn is only for professional networking. Here’s my pornographic headshot... pic.twitter.com/G3tw0P7cT2— kittyhouseknife 🔜 TwitchCon (@kittyhouseknife) July 28, 2019
... and there is nothing wrong with a waiter of Midtown!— Ant-1 (@Antb0079) July 28, 2019
How someone uses their appearance to express themselves doesn't change their ability to work.
I've got tattoos, one easily visible. I do not dress in feminine fashion and don't own make-up. Doesn't affect my output. Happiest places I've worked are where folks can be themselves. Don't understand why that's such a problem for some. Sorry you're dealing with that!— Dr Val Finlayson (@justsomeisotope) July 27, 2019
Suarez clearly worked hard to be where she is and damn right she should be proud of herself!
Support women flexing their achievements!
Support women looking however they want to!
“i’m an isotope geochemist” and “is that why i work for nasa” are the two hardest flexes of all time— 🌺 🅴 🌺 (@brokeartistebs) July 28, 2019
Then I realized we're from 2 completely different worlds. These people will never come to my neighborhood. They will never walk the halls of my high school or the rooms of my childhood home. They'll just pretend to care about diversity when recruitment season comes up.— Stephanie E Suarez (@geologiststephy) August 4, 2019
Have you ever been proud of someone you've never met?
Because I sure have!
Thank you for the support everyone ❤. I figure out how old rocks are. Recently stepped into the planetary community when I started placing ages on Martian meteorites. Starting my PhD this fall, just finished my Masters last week. pic.twitter.com/KyaDCOhcsb— Stephanie E Suarez (@geologiststephy) July 29, 2019