Should I Pay My Girlfriends Mortgage While Living with Her Ex? AITA?

by James Duya

Are you the jerk in this situation for not contributing to your girlfriend's mortgage or moving back in with her? Last year, your girlfriend bought a house, and you moved in with her, contributing $2,000 monthly even though your name wasn't on the mortgage.

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However, things took a turn when she allowed her ex, her daughter's father, to move in to co-parent without contributing financially. It became apparent that her ex still had feelings for her, making you feel like a third wheel in your own home.

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Eventually, for your mental and emotional well-being, you chose to move out, leading to your girlfriend being upset about you not moving back in or continuing to contribute financially. You explained that you're uncomfortable living with her ex and find it unfair to financially support a property you don't own, especially under these circumstances.

Reddit users weighed in, with many supporting your decision and expressing concerns about the dynamic in the household. Some advised ending the relationship, highlighting red flags in the situation.

The consensus leans towards you not being in the wrong, emphasizing the importance of prioritizing your well-being and financial health in such a complex scenario.

Original Post

Last year, my girlfriend bought a house and I moved in with her. She has a 10-year-old daughter from a previous relationship.
Things were going well at first, and I was happy to contribute to the household even though my name wasn’t on the mortgage. We didn’t add me to the deed because my credit was poor at the time, and I already owned a home that I rent out.
The mortgage on her house is around $5,000 per month. I was contributing $2,000 monthly, which was the most I could afford due to loans, credit card debt, and other financial responsibilities.

A few months in, she told me she was going to let her ex (her daughter’s father) move in to help with co-parenting. I wasn’t excited about the idea, but I tried to be understanding since I know how important stability is for their daughter.
Over time, though, it became clear that her ex still had feelings for her. He was overly familiar and acted like he was still part of the relationship.
It made me very uncomfortable and I started to feel like a third wheel in the home. She doesn’t want to kick out her ex because he helps a lot with their daughter.

After a while, I decided to move out for my own mental and emotional well-being. Now, my girlfriend is upset that I won’t move back in or continue contributing to the mortgage.
I’ve told her that I’m not comfortable living in the same house as her ex, and that I don’t feel it’s fair to keep financially supporting a property I don’t have any ownership in, especially under these circumstances. I care about her and her daughter, but I also need to look after my own financial and emotional health.
AITA?

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Comment from u/okayhere21

You’re NTA but you are being played like a fool. Come on, she had her ex move back in. Don’t let love fool you and open your eyes. End this before you get any deeper in.