Redditor Refuses To Apologize On Social Networks To A Girl She Used To "Bully," And The Internet Supports Her For It

"AITA for not apologising to a girl I used to 'bully'?"

Sophia

• Published in Interesting
• March 18, 2023

When people reflect on their high school years, many people wish they had handled certain situations differently. These regrets can relate to academic decisions to social interactions.

High school is a time of development, learning, and exploration. It's also a moment when we make a lot of mistakes, some of which we might come to regret later in the future.

Bullying can be one of these things. On a social level, many people regret not standing up for other people when they are faced with bullies.

When you’re young, you do stupid things. It can be scary to think that these things might haunt you in your life, or bite you back in the future.

When a person you used to know shows up and asks to chat over some coffee, is it a simple friendly gesture or is there something more behind it?

Is apologizing for the behaviors of your past self used to do enough to pacify the issue? Should there be more to it, will regretting your choices as a high school kid not suffice?

This Reddit post stumbles upon an old friend and mid-conversation, OP’s previous actions over 10 years ago resurface. OP wants to clarify if she did the right thing.

Here's the sitch:

OP underwent a not-so-pleasant encounter and wanted to know if they were being an asshole. Naturally, they turn to Reddit.

OP is a doctor and has met her old friend Anne from high school at her workplace. Anne wanted to say hi after learning about OP since the friend was under OP’s care.

Anne’s unrelenting invitation to get coffee over OP’s break was a success. They talked about the past and their current families.

When showing photos of OP’s family, as per Anne’s request, she brought up something that started a whole ordeal. She said it was ironic that OP used to bully her.

OP was a cheerleader, while Anne was sort of a tomboy in high school. Knowing the typical high school setup, it wasn’t a good mix.

The bullying mainly came from other people, and OP was a bystander, which is still bad. OP acknowledges this and is shameful for being rude, judgmental, and not at all saying anything about the name-calling and bullying in general.

OP was sorry and apologized. She wanted to take everything back and make it up to Anne.

Anne asked why OP didn’t apologize before on social media, and only did so when she was confronted. OP rarely uses social media, also assumed Anne didn't want to hear anything about the whole thing.

An “entitled asshole” was what Anne called her. She said that OP should’ve apologized before.

Was Anne in the right in this whole situation? Or is OP an asshole for apologizing at that very moment while regretting everything the whole time?

Not the a-hole for this Redditor.

Anne was kind of being the asshole, though.

Anne was thinking of another situation of how this whole encounter was gonna go. It didn’t go as planned so she had to “switch it up.”

This Redditor was bullied, too, a lot. If they were in Anne’s place, it wouldn’t have been this big of a deal.

This Redditor thought it was unusual that Anne wanted OP to reach out first to apologize. Generally, people aren’t comfortable with their bullies messaging out of the blue just to say sorry.

Although Anne rightfully and undoubtedly has many emotions, you did nothing wrong by not getting in touch. OP made the right move to apologize after she was faced with what she had done back then.

It was supposed to be a catch-up session, but Anne brought up the bullying, and after that, OP apologized. What more does she need from OP?

A unique deduction. Anne is attracted to OP?

Maybe it would’ve been nice if OP reached out, but it’s pretty common to not hit them up since it could be read negatively.

The next move after the whole thing is to just move on.

Should everyone who became a bystander to bullying be chased down and asked for apologies? “Everybody looked away when something shitty was happening.”

Anne should just get over it. OP was sorry and that’s that.

There are many things people have done that they greatly regret, humans are not perfect, after all. Just like what they say about karma, the poor choices done in the past will, at some point, come back, and fate will collect its dues.

The most important thing is that they recognize their wrongs, are sorry, and somehow try to make up for it. The next move is to move on.

Was the apology enough as is? Comment what you think below, and don’t forget to forward this to your friends to know their sentiments, too!

Sophia