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Childless Man Asks Reddit If He Is Wrong For Avoiding His Friends' Kids During Their Gatherings After They Accuse Him Of Being A Child Hater

by Mary

Have you ever been asked by your family or friends about "Why are you still single?" or "When are you going to have children?" This might be a simple question, but these are quite insensitive or offensive to others.

People have different goals and plans for their lives, including settling down at a certain age, buying properties, getting into business, traveling, and so on that they could add to their bucket lists. Although life is clearly not a race, it is undeniable that when you reach adult life, maybe 30 to 40 years old, pressure from people around you about your life plans starts to appear, and having kids is definitely one of them.

Some individuals do not have kids for various reasons. Some might be because of health problems, financial reasons, and other things that made them decide to live without having their own child.

There is a more open discussion about this concern in today's generation. However, choosing to have or not have a child is a personal decision that everyone should respect since everyone has their own valid reasons.

An example would be this Redditor named hug-a-cat, a man in his early thirties who doesn't want to have children because he believes he is not equipped enough to raise one. As much as he likes children, he also has ADHD, which is triggered by a noisy environment, especially around kids.

Having children isn't for everyone.

For this reason, he chose to avoid them entirely so when he was invited to gatherings with friends who have kids, he chose to say no directly rather than hurt their feelings by saying anything about children that could be perceived as unkind. Instead, his friends have interpreted his action as someone who hates children even if they are aware of his condition.

Having children isn't for everyone.
StillWorksImagery (not the actual photo)

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OP's post on Reddit community.

OP's post on Reddit community.
Reddit/hug-a-cat

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Not planning to settle down like most people of his age do.

Not planning to settle down like most people of his age do.
Reddit/hug-a-cat

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OP can't raise kids but get along with them.

OP can't raise kids but get along with them.
Reddit/hug-a-cat

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His life, his rules, and his choices.

His life, his rules, and his choices.
Reddit/hug-a-cat

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Being around with kids drains a lot of his energy.

Being around with kids drains a lot of his energy.
Reddit/hug-a-cat

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Sensory issues because of ADHD.

Sensory issues because of ADHD.
Reddit/hug-a-cat

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If there are only kid-friendly hangouts to chill.

If there are only kid-friendly hangouts to chill.
Reddit/hug-a-cat

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Why children want to spend time with OP instead of their parents.

Why children want to spend time with OP instead of their parents.
Reddit/hug-a-cat

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He thought of an alternative way to avoid the kids instead of directly saying no to them.

He thought of an alternative way to avoid the kids instead of directly saying no to them.
Reddit-hug-a-cat

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However, his friends had quickly noticed it and called him out.

However, his friends had quickly noticed it and called him out.
Reddit/hug-a-cat

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They accused him of being selfish and hating the kids which is not true.

They accused him of being selfish and hating the kids which is not true.
Reddit/hug-a-cat

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They pointed out how they can't just avoid their kids when they want to, insisting OP would do the same.

They pointed out how they can't just avoid their kids when they want to, insisting OP would do the same.
Reddit/hug-a-cat

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His friends are guilt-tripping him for not hanging out with their children.

His friends are guilt-tripping him for not hanging out with their children.
Reddit/hug-a-cat

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#1 Do what is best for your mental well-being.

#1 Do what is best for your mental well-being.
Reddit/BooBeans71

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#2 They want to take a break and let you entertain their kids for them.

#2 They want to take a break and let you entertain their kids for them.
Reddit/hdkb824

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#3 Parents should respect other people's time.

#3 Parents should respect other people's time.
Reddit/Full_Worldliness1480

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#4 You are just doing what is best for you and their children.

#4 You are just doing what is best for you and their children.
Reddit/No-Policy-4095

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#5 It is your decision to not have children and your reasons are valid.

#5 It is your decision to not have children and your reasons are valid.
Reddit/zwergschnauzer

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#6 Not wanting to be around kids doesn't mean you hate them.

#6 Not wanting to be around kids doesn't mean you hate them.
Reddit/fridgepickle

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#7 If they wanted to spend time with YOU, it won't matter if you show up when kids are asleep.

#7 If they wanted to spend time with YOU, it won't matter if you show up when kids are asleep.
Reddit/DelurkingtoComment

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No matter how good your intentions are, explaining your side will be pointless if people choose to believe what they want to think. On the other hand, people who genuinely care for you will understand, considering everyone isn't the same.

Have you ever encountered people who don't like to be around children? Share this story and your experience with your family and friends!

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