Woman Refuses To Let Her Drug-Addicted Brother Meet Her Baby, Gets Cut Off While Being Called Hypocrite

"I've been dodging his requests to meet her left and right"

Maryjane

• Published in Interesting
• December 9, 2023

One of the major changes we go through in our adult lives is becoming a parent. It is believed that important transitions represent windows of opportunity for important growth and transformation.

Then comes the motherhood instinct, and it is a term we quite often hear. It sounds like something that "kicks in," and it is hidden during other periods of our lives and waits to awaken when we hold a child in our arms. The word "instinct" itself alludes to a genetic characteristic, something that is preprogrammed and predestined from birth.

The OP had this instinct, which is why she chose to keep her addicted brother away from her baby. Here is some background on the OP's brother:

He's in active addiction right now and is homeless living in the woods. I empathize with his situation, because I also used to be very heavily into drugs (I'm clean now), but my family and I have done everything in the world that's possible to get him help so he can be sober and live a normal life.

My pop alone has gotten him two jobs, a car, paid for a hotel room, had paid for rehab. He spits in our faces everytime to the point where only my mom and I speak to him now.

The OP finally revealed to her brother why she doesn't want him near her child, and he was furious about it. Keep scrolling to read the full story below.

The headline

The whole time OP's baby was in the NICU, her 23 year old brother wanted to come meet her

OP's brother was absolutely furious about it, and told her that she's a sh*tty sister

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

I won't let my brother meet my daughter, and I also didn't tell him the reason why for months until recently. It might make the me the a-hole because I wasn't honest about my reasoning.

We've gathered some of the most upvoted comments from other Redditors for you to read through below

One member checking up on him periodically

There wasn't going to be an amicable solution

Maybe that can be a catalyst for change

OP can't squash the overwhelming sense of guilt

OP reveals in the comments saying:

I think I will try to talk to him again. I love him and I want him to do better so that he can have a relationship with his niece. I'm also in constant fear that I'm going to get the call that he's dead and if that happened before were able to reconcile I would never forgive myself.

OP's job is to protect her child

He doesn't need to necessarily hold her

This Redditor understands where OP is coming from

OP should have been upfront with him from the start

Our innate ability to attend to our infant's needs is primarily influenced by several factors. This includes our temperament, our early experiences of forming relationships with caregivers, and the neurochemical state of our body at that particular time.

Due to the fact that a mother's "instinct" will always compel her to attend to her child's needs, it is frequently trusted to protect a child which is what the OP is trying to do. She was declared not the AH.

Maryjane