The whole time OP's baby was in the NICU, her 23 year old brother wanted to come meet her
OP's brother was absolutely furious about it, and told her that she's a sh*tty sister
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:
I won't let my brother meet my daughter, and I also didn't tell him the reason why for months until recently. It might make the me the a-hole because I wasn't honest about my reasoning.
We've gathered some of the most upvoted comments from other Redditors for you to read through below
One member checking up on him periodically
There wasn't going to be an amicable solution
Maybe that can be a catalyst for change
OP can't squash the overwhelming sense of guilt
OP reveals in the comments saying:
I think I will try to talk to him again. I love him and I want him to do better so that he can have a relationship with his niece. I'm also in constant fear that I'm going to get the call that he's dead and if that happened before were able to reconcile I would never forgive myself.
OP's job is to protect her child
He doesn't need to necessarily hold her
This Redditor understands where OP is coming from
OP should have been upfront with him from the start
Our innate ability to attend to our infant's needs is primarily influenced by several factors. This includes our temperament, our early experiences of forming relationships with caregivers, and the neurochemical state of our body at that particular time.
Due to the fact that a mother's "instinct" will always compel her to attend to her child's needs, it is frequently trusted to protect a child which is what the OP is trying to do. She was declared not the AH.