Viral Thread Reveals The Dumb Things People Did When Their Brains Were On Autopilot And They Are So Funny And Relatable

The question has been thrown to the floor

1. "Turned around and went back home because I forgot my car keys. I was driving."

2. "Cup of coffee in left hand, phone in the right hand. Go to my room, take a sip of my phone and throw coffee on the bed."

3. "I sat there at an intersection in suburban Palo Alto at 11PM, patiently waiting for the stop sign to change."

4. McDonald's

As a teenager, I worked at McDonald's. My McDonald's was 24 hours and, during the summer, I worked the overnight shift. My sleep schedule would get all messed up.

My parents woke me up for dinner one evening. I zombie walked to the table and sat down. My dad asked me to say grace. I bow my head and say, "thank you for choosing McDonald's, may I take your order?"

5. How can I help you today?

6. Metro

7. Chicken Stock

I made the best ever chicken stock, lovingly simmered for 24 hours. Then, without thinking, I put the colander in the sink and tipped the stock down the drain, saving the scraps. I cried.

8. Petting a skunk

When I was in high school and living on the family farm, I used to feed the horses and barn cats every morning. Waking up at 6am for this as a 16 year old guaranteed that I was half asleep. So, I grabbed the cat food like I always did, walked to the table where my cat's bowl was like I always did, and poured some in. My cat always jumped up on the table right away to start eating right away, and one morning as something jumped up in front of me I absentmindedly pet it as usual. The hair felt a little rough so I looked down and instead of my friendly orange cat, there was a skunk. Just chilling there eating the cat food while I pet its back.

9. Jogging

Was jogging late at night. A guy reached out his hand in front of me as I passed.

I high-fived him.

Turns out he was hailing a taxi.

10. Candy

1. Unwrap candy.

2. Throw candy in trash

3. Stare at wrapper

11. "Rubbed aftershave in my hair and put gel on my face."

The worst part was that after I put the aftershave in my hair, I laughed at myself, thought, "F**k, what was all that about?" and then added the hair gel to my skin.

12. An earthquake

13. Dropping pants

I dropped my pants when going through TSA....For those who fly in the super early morning it can be rough. I purposely didn't drink coffee so I could sleep on the plane...

I was on the security line, and did the normal routine of taking stuff out of my pockets and putting them in my laptop bag. Then off with the shoes, placed on top of my luggage, then off comes the belt as usual.

Then of course when you take off your belt you take off your pants.....uhhh Nope damnit. Put them back on and WTFed for a moment as I finished up in security. Luckily not *that many* people fly at like 430am.

14. Newspaper

15. Dropping the kids

16. Forgotten

Once I was laying in bed very tired watching tv. All the characters on the show piled into a car together, and I thought for a second "s**t I forgot to put my seatbelt on" before realizing I was safely in bed and no where near a car.

17. Bringing in the dog

Night before last, I went to the back yard to bring the dog into the house. Autopilot moved my feet 10 or so steps out the door, telling the "dog" to come in. My brain then caught up and remembered the dog was in bed and I was indeed approaching a black bear that was eating watermelon rinds from the trash can.

18. Frazzled Reflection

19. Xbox

The two that come to mind are while playing XBOX I got up to get a drink, then sit back down and can't find my freaking controller. I'm tearing cushions apart, looking under stuff, looking in drawers, etc. Turns out I took a soda out of the fridge and put the controller in the spot I took it from.

The other one happened the other day. Drove home from work, parked, went upstairs, opened the door, started to take off shirt. Then I remembered it was the middle of my shift and I hadn't left to go home, but just go buy a drink.

20. "I was playing guitar and reached to grab a cracker, then I ate my pick."

21. "There was a 6.0 earthquake at about 3 am so i was asleep. The quake lasted 20 seconds and I woke up about 16 seconds in standing in the hallway hugging a vase. What the f**k."

22. Sneaking out

When I was around 13 or 14 I woke up in the middle of the night, in my own bed and room, and thought to myself: I need to go home before my parents realize I'm not home. So I sneak out of the house, part of me obviously aware that my parents were sleeping and I needed to be quiet, and walked a block away. Then I realized I had been in my own room and just thought what the hell am I doing. So I walked back and snuck back into bed. So weird

23. Brain fart

24. "Jumped out of bed frantically. Put my clothes on. Brushed all the s**t on my floor under my bed..paused. And realised its 3am in the morning and I don't have school. I'm 23."

25. "Tried to turn the sun off. Bad hangover, opened my back door, feeling for the light switch. No light switch, the light was day."

26. Car impound

27. Cashiering

After an 8 hour day of cashiering at Target(which has so many robotic-small talk conversations), I stopped at the dollar store. The conversation went something like:

Cashier: Hi, how are you?

Me: Good, how are you?

Cashier: I'm good, thanks.

Me: That's good. Did you find everything okay today?

That conversation was had to the effect of everyone in line and the cashier looking at me like I was psycho.

edit: I'm glad I'm not the only one who's done awk things on cashier autopilot! And thanks for the gold!

28. Just checking

29. "Came into work to work front of house after several extended nights of profound insomnia. "

I was holding up ok until a gal walks up with a dog in her arms. I always chat people up about their dogs because A. Dogs are awesome and B. people love to talk about their dogs, and often tip a little more when they feel like they've actually connected with you.

30. Sandwich

31. "I meant to put a brand new roll of toilet paper on the roll and instead just plopped it in the toilet."

32. Bathroom

Walked into the bathroom at work to pee, and instead of unzipping my fly, I unbuttoned my dress shirt, took it off, then took off my white undershirt as well. Then realized I was standing shirtless at a urinal and wtf'd.

33. Milk

34. "I picked up my toothbrush to brush my teeth but I also had the urge to p**s, so I obviously toss my toothbrush into the toilet."

35. "Trying to get into a random person's car because I thought it was my friend's. The person whose car I was attempting to break into was very terrified."

36. Cat food

37. Raw chicken breast

38. Mail

I tried to mail my buddy a check, and it had been a while since I mailed anything. Long enough to forget how mail works apparently. What I did was I wrote my name and address in the center, and his name in the upper left hand corner.

The letter then got returned to me. But still, my first thought wasn't, whoops, I failed at mailing this check. Instead it was, well I guess this stamp is old, and the price of stamps went up. So I put another stamp on it and sent it again, to myself, again. My mailman must think I'm r******d.

39. Deodorant

40. Mouthwash

41. "Drove 20 min to my old house after I moved..was just zoning out"

42. The stomach acid

I was getting ready for work and had a contact in one hand and a vitamin in the other. Popped the contact in my mouth and washed it down with a glass of water. I'm sure the stomach acid took care of it.

43. Bathing

44. Work turn up

45. "I was making ramen noodles and a pitcher of crystal light at the same time. Berry flavored ramen is....not good."

46. Nose cigarette

47. Picture

48. Cat in fridge

Now

49. Dormitory

I am currently at university and live on the fifth floor of a dormitory. All the floors are identical other than the colors of the paint on the wall. One day I was taking the elevator up to the fifth floor and I was sending a text to my mother. When I arrived at my floor a person I had never seen before got on the elevator.

I consciously noted that it was weird because I knew everyone on my floor, but I walked to my room and walked in. My living room seemed slightly off and then a girl walked into the living room and casually goes, "what are you doing in my room." That's when I realized I had gotten off on an earlier floor and I just absentmindedly walked into someone else's room. Needless to say I got out of that room really fast after realizing what I had done.

50. While leaving work

Our brain learns how to perform a task naturally and with little effort by repeatedly performing it. As you've seen, people gave a ton of wonderful examples about this subject, ranging from storing food in the refrigerator to preparing for high school when they're fully grown.

Do you want to share any of your brain farts? Please do so in the comment box below.