Devoted Cat Owner Wonders If She Should Inform Her Ex-Boyfriend About Their Elderly Cat's Failing Health
Some breakups end with shared furniture, split bills, and a lot of awkward silence. This one also comes with an 18-year-old cat whose health is now getting worse.
After five years together, one woman and her ex-boyfriend split up after she caught him cheating and kicked him out. They had lived together and shared two cats, but the older one had already been with him since childhood, while the younger cat was adopted together. He promised to come back for the senior cat, then disappeared from the picture, and now the cat's failing kidneys have left OP facing a painful decision.
Now she is stuck wondering whether she should tell her ex before making the call herself, or keep him out of it for good.
OP didn't mind keeping her ex's old cat since she has been paying for everything the cat needed for about two years.
The problem is, the cat's health is getting worse. Her kidneys are failing, and she has lost a lot of weight, which means OP might have to euthanize the cat sooner than she thought.
She and her ex talked about which signs to look out for that could indicate the cat's health turning for the worse.
The dilemma of whether to inform an ex about a pet's declining health is fraught with emotional complexity.
Not all of the signs are present, but his decreasing appetite and increased water intake mean his kidneys are barely functioning. OP doesn't want to put the cat through dialysis due to her age.
OP considers the old cat to be her ex's, but since he essentially abandoned her without informing OP, the cat has been under her care for a while, and she has the paperwork to prove that.
OP doesn't want to tell her ex about euthanizing the cat, and it has been nagging at her. They didn't have an amicable breakup, and she really doesn't want to deal with him.
The emotional bonds formed with pets can create a sense of responsibility that persists even after a breakup.
OP is in the clear with the cat's ownership legally and can make medical decisions for her even without telling the ex. OP wonders if she will be an a**hole if she follows through with her plan without letting her ex know.
OP replied to the deleted comment about how the breakup went and why she's so against contacting her ex-boyfriend regarding anything.
Sure, OP can send her ex a message informing him about the state of the cat, but what would happen if he objects? This commenter doesn't think that OP should, given that her ex abandoned the cat without checking on her.
That is where the comments start splitting the room.
It’s a lot like the man asking his ex-roommate for custody of their cat, where Redditors argued over who should be responsible.
Creating a structured plan for pet care can alleviate some of the emotional burden associated with shared responsibilities.
None of her ex's behavior pre- and post-breakup indicated that he cared about the cat that much.
Even before the split, the ex barely contributed to the cat's needs and left it all up to OP and his mom to figure things out.
If he learns what happened to the cat, this guy will surely find a way to make it about OP not informing him and hurting him in the process.
Another commenter thinks he would only make it messier.
Thankfully, OP has a healthy attitude about the opinions her ex and the people around him may or may not have about her and her decisions.
Thankfully, OP has a healthy attitude about the opinions her ex and the people around him may or may not have about her and her decisions.
Still, someone said OP should inform him because it is the kind thing to do, and once the cat passes, OP can do nothing to turn back time and undo the a**hole move.
OP says she is leaning towards not informing him because she doesn't want him back in her life, and this is a choice made out of emotional self-preservation, not spite.
Someone asked if OP tried putting the cat on a different diet to see if it helps with her lack of appetite.
That question did not really change the bigger issue.
Since OP's ex has been an absentee cat owner long before their breakup, OP doesn't really have to inform him about what she plans to do with the cat. He didn't care enough to go back for her or even check on her after he and OP went their separate ways.
Still, should OP inform him? Based on OP's version of events, that will only complicate things for her and could even be detrimental to the cat.
He might try to stop OP from doing what's best for the cat just to keep the drama going and make himself look like a concerned cat owner who has been wronged by his ex. At this point, OP's only concern should be keeping her elderly cat happy for as long as she can.
The emotional complexities surrounding pet ownership post-breakup cannot be underestimated.
Wait until you read how his ex demanded cat support, and he suspected she wouldn’t use it for the pets at all in this story.
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