Teen's Joke About Nepo Baby Classmate's Legacy Admission To Ivy League University Sparks Debate About Merit And Nepotism
A snide remark they made about a classmate brought a high school student to Reddit for advice. The discussion on the subreddit went from whether OP was jealous of their classmate to a debate about Ivy League legacy admissions.
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OP and Sam are students at a small public school. OP knew that most of their peers who go to college apply to state schools.
Sam was an exemption to this. She and her family were new in town, and her family was peppered with people who graduated from Ivy League schools.
OP admitted that Sam was smart, but her family's Ivy League connections gave her a head start. One of her parents studied at an Ivy League university.
Two of Sam's relatives were professors at that university. Sam's other parent was also an alumna of a prestigious school.
OP's opinions about Sam's privileges surfaced during their school's college decision day. Sam went to class wearing a shirt representing one of the universities her parents attended.
A teacher noticed Sam's shirt and said, "It's not too often that someone from here goes to that school." OP replied, "It's not too often someone here is so connected with that school."
OP intended it as a lighthearted joke, but Sam and her friends didn't perceive it that way. Sam said OP was rude while her friend accused them of downplaying Sam's achievements out of jealousy.
OP said they weren't jealous of Sam. They wanted Sam to acknowledge that she had a leg up over her peers because of her family's ties to those universities.
The disruption only ended when their teacher asked the class to move on. Did OP make an unfair comment about Sam?
OP was voted the a**hole by a majority of the commenters. They doubted if they meant it as a joke.
OP said they weren't trying to be rude. They just wanted an acknowledgment of Sam's advantages over others who didn't have strong ties to Ivy League universities.
Redditors maintained that it was still an unfair assumption since OP is not privy to Sam's application process.
They accused OP of tripping Sam to get her off of the high horse.
They ventured it was plain misogyny on OP's part. Why couldn't Sam's admission be because of her merit and not her relatives' position in the university?
However, legacy admissions are a thing. Burying our heads in the sand won't make them go away.
Could OP be jealous of Sam? Yes. Was Sam's acceptance to the Ivy League school a legacy admission? Probably.
OP didn't lie, but their comment was unnecessary and hurtful.
Sam could be smart enough to get into the university on her merits. However, she didn't have as high of a hurdle as others as smart as her because of her family's connections.
Still, OP's behavior is on par with people their age. They didn't think or care about the consequences of what they said. They just wanted to say it.
OP was a jerk, but they are at least aware of the unfair advantage some people get by accident of birth.
OP needs to learn to pick which battles they want to fight.
OP needs to apologize to Sam. If they antagonized every "Sam" they meet, OP could limit their opportunities.
OP was voted the a**hole even by those who agreed with their observation. Sam had a foot in the door to that university because of her family's ties.
OP did not make a baseless accusation, legacy admissions are a thing. However, it was not the time or place to make an insulting remark that only hurt another person.