'Invisible Child' Begs For Acknowledgment, Parents Lash Out With Accusations Of Selfishness
In families with children requiring special care, such as those with autism, siblings often find themselves feeling overlooked. These "invisible children" are expected to understand and accept that their needs take a backseat to the pressing demands of their siblings.
While parents tirelessly manage the daily challenges of caregiving, these siblings quietly sacrifice their desires and attention. It's a complex dynamic, fraught with emotional and psychological implications, often leading to a deep sense of neglect and frustration.
In one such family, a 16-year-old, soon to be 17, found themselves grappling with this very issue. The original poster (OP) has a 10-year-old autistic sibling who relies heavily on an iPad for daily activities.
This dependency results in the frequent breaking of the device, causing significant financial strain on their parents, who need to replace it multiple times a year. As OP's birthday approached, their parents promised a special outing to OP's favorite restaurant and an escape room.
OP, understanding the financial burden on their parents, even saved some of their own money to contribute. However, just a week before the birthday, the sibling broke the iPad again.
Consequently, their parents had to allocate funds initially meant for OP's birthday celebration to purchase a new iPad. When OP asked for the money they had saved to be returned so they could at least take themselves out for dinner, their parents revealed that they had already used it for the new iPad without consulting OP.
Feeling hurt and sidelined, OP expressed frustration, highlighting how they never seem to come first. This led to an argument, with the parents accusing OP of selfishness and emphasizing that the sibling's needs would always take precedence. As a result, they decided not to celebrate OP's birthday at all.
OP asks:
A 16-year-old, nearly 17, has a 10-year-old autistic sibling who frequently breaks their essential iPad, causing financial strain.
OP's parents promised a birthday outing
But, they had to use the funds to replace the broken iPad, including OP's saved money.
When OP requested their saved money back, their parents revealed they had already spent it without asking, leading to an argument.
OP's parents responded with accusations
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
"They took your money, then punished you for getting mad that they took your money."
This is very common - so many "invisible" kids out there...
A parent of two autistic children says:
They need to parent all their kids
"Your parents are doing you a disservice, and it's just plain cruel."
This is probably very true:
It's easier than admitting they're lousy parents
The story underscores the often-unspoken sacrifices siblings of special needs children make. While the parents' dedication to their autistic child is understandable, OP's feelings of neglect and desire for recognition are equally valid.
Balancing the needs of all children in such families is arduous, yet it's crucial to ensure that the so-called "invisible children" feel seen and valued, too. OP's plea to come first for once isn't just a cry for a birthday celebration but a deeper need for acknowledgment and care within the family.
