Diagnosed Narcissist Shares His Journey of Self-Realization and the Impact on His Life

From self-denial to self-awareness—here's how a diagnosed narcissist turned his life around.

Sophia

• Published in Interesting
• September 8, 2024

Lee Hammock, a 39-year-old father of three from North Carolina, openly discusses his experiences living with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Diagnosed with the condition, Hammock reflects on how it has shaped his relationships, career, and family life, ultimately leading him to seek help.

NPD is a mental health disorder characterized by a lack of empathy, a grandiose sense of self, and the tendency to manipulate others. For Hammock, these traits manifested in various aspects of his life, often without him realizing the extent of his actions.

"Not only do people with NPD manipulate others, but we also manipulate ourselves," Hammock explains, shedding light on the internal battles that come with the disorder.

Hammock recalls his time working at a distribution center in Greensboro, North Carolina, where his narcissism heavily influenced his behavior. He would arrive at work angry, feeling entitled to more than what he had because of his inflated self-image.

This sense of entitlement led him to manipulate colleagues subtly, planting negative ideas about others in their minds without their realization. It wasn't until Hammock began therapy that he recognized these behaviors as signs of his disorder.

The impact of Hammock's narcissism extended beyond his professional life and into his personal relationships. He admits that NPD has destroyed most of his relationships, which often followed a pattern of idealization, devaluation, and eventual discard.

"I'd be madly in love with someone, and then one day, I'd wake up and see them in a different light," he shares.

This cycle of emotional detachment led him to mistreat those close to him, always finding ways to blame them for his actions.

One of the most significant effects of Hammock's NPD was on his role as a father.

He describes how his behavior towards his children, particularly his older two, was influenced by his disorder.

"I would yell and scream at my middle son, making him feel like he wasn't enough," Hammock confesses.

His emotional neglect towards his older son, whom he would often distract with an iPad, further highlights the challenges he faced in connecting with his children.

However, Hammock notes that his youngest daughter receives the best version of him, thanks to the progress he has made in therapy.

The turning point for Hammock came in 2016, after a series of personal and family struggles.

Following a heated argument with his wife, during which she called him a narcissist, Hammock looked up the term and realized it accurately described his behavior for the past 20 years. This realization led him to seek therapy, a journey that he continues today.

Through therapy, Hammock has gained a deeper understanding of his disorder and its effects.

He acknowledges that apologizing is difficult for narcissists, as it involves relinquishing control. However, he has learned that taking accountability gives him power, even if others choose not to accept his apologies.

Hammock is now dedicated to helping others with NPD and those affected by narcissistic abuse. He runs a YouTube channel called Mental Healness, offers coaching sessions, and is working on his first book.

His story is a testament to the power of self-awareness and the possibility of change, even for those with NPD.

Sophia