Father Frustrated By Daughter's Refusal To Disclose College Decision Despite Significant Family Investment, Asks If They're An A-Hole For Asking Her About Choices

"I didn’t threaten anything but I don’t think she understands the ramifications of this decision."

Sophia

• Published in Interesting
• December 9, 2023

Choosing a college is like picking a path in a vast, confusing forest, where each trail promises a different adventure. It's tough, right?

You've got to juggle things like location, courses, and, oh boy, the cost.

This brings us to OP's story, a real head-scratcher of a family dilemma. Picture this: OP's flown around with his 17-year-old daughter, checking out colleges. She's got her mind made up but—plot twist—she's keeping it a secret, just for kicks.

Meanwhile, OP's sitting there, calculator in hand, trying to figure out the financial maze of tuition, housing, and all that jazz.

The thing is, while his daughter's playing this guessing game, OP's trying to sort out the dollars and cents. He's not just thinking about undergrad; there might be grad school on the horizon too. That's a mountain of planning!

And let's not forget housing—it's like a race, and the early bird gets the best nest. But here's where it gets tricky: she's giving OP the cold shoulder, leaving him in the dark.

So, OP's wondering, is he the bad guy for wanting to know her choice? It's a classic case of miscommunication, with a dash of teenage rebellion and a pinch of parental worry. Makes you think, doesn't it?

Just take a look...

OP and his daughter return from college visit. The daughter won't disclose her choice of school, which caused OP's concern over expenses from the mother.

Daughter picked three schools, teases not revealing choice until end of the week.

OP urges prompt decision on education funding for financial planning; daughter feels pressured, emphasizing housing urgency.

Deadline for decision is May 1st, but immediate action is crucial for preferred housing. No response received, and now OP is facing silent treatment.

OP's now asking if he's somehow the bad guy for asking...

An update from OP:

Daughter has revealed chosen school with shirts!

But before this, see what people had to say...

Time for the college lesson plan: Silence speaks louder than words. Let her major in consequences and minor in life lessons.

Snip, snip! Watch out for flying cords.

Playing "Guess the College" is fun, but the budget prefers a spoiler.

Exactly! Time for a crash course in Adulting 101.

Good luck with adulting, though...

Reality's knocking, and it doesn't come with a cheat code. College awaits, no more shields from life's consequences!

If life were a playground, she'd be in timeout for unnecessary delays.

Is she majoring in "Avoiding Adulthood 101"? Time for a crash course in Reality 101 before she graduates to independence!

Family dinner: "College Choices, Hold the Jokes." Life's too short for housing queues and financial FOMO.

"Let her tell you when she wants to."

Is she saving the big reveal for a college-themed party with hats and confetti?

Oopsies!

Falling into reality: Budgeting for the budget-friendly college. Lesson learned: Don't nibble on the hand that writes the checks!

Daughter's decision stew is on a slow boil; apparently, commitment needs its own recipe.

In the end, it's clear that this isn't just about choosing a college; it's about communication and understanding in a family. OP's story highlights the delicate balance between a parent's need to plan and a child's desire for independence.

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Sophia