Gamer Dad Learns Harsh Lesson After Asking Reddit If He Spends Too Much Time In His Bunker Away From His Pregnant Wife And Their Son

"I married a human, not a sim, download some emotions."

Chelsi

• Published in Interesting
• May 25, 2023

Reddit may have saved a man from ruining his marriage. The OP asked if he was a jerk for spending long hours in his bunker away from his pregnant wife and son.

OP explained that the bunker was constructed by his late grandfather. OP bought the house from his dad and decided to look for the infamous bunker.

He had the time and opportunity to remodel the bunker during the pandemic. OP turned it into his own man cave/ home office and fell in love with it.

His friends and their children love OP's version of a Fallout Vault. His wife had mixed feelings about OP's space.

She recently confided that he has been distant from her. She noticed that he spent more time in the bunker than he did with their son.

Her pregnancy heightened her anxiety, so OP promised to spend more time in their house. They were happy for a while, but his wife felt that the time OP spends with her still is not enough.

OP said he wants to be present for his family. At the same time, he cherishes his time in the bunker because it is the only space on their property that he feels is truly his own.

It's where he spends his down time

His wife threatened to seal the entrance to the bunker if OP doesn't change

She's afraid that OP will entirely miss the birth of their baby because of the amount of time he spends in the bunker

OP is wondering if he has been neglectful of his pregnant wife and their son or if his wife is acting on her pregnancy hormones

OP clarified that the bunker is not just for fun, it's also where he works. He also asked for more kindness from Redditors because he genuinely wanted to know how he can do better.

They discussed their issues a little and OP had to sleep in the spare room to give each other space

Commenters wasted no time explaining to OP why his wife is so frustrated

Does his wife get alone time away from her household responsibilities like OP does? Does she have the freedom to step away and be in her own space whenever she wants to?

She may have decorated the house to her taste but that doesn't make it her "cave"

Is OP not allowed to enter their house when his wife wants alone time like he does? Are the restrictions to his bunker applicable to the house?

I actually took note of the fact that their son isn't one of the people who enjoys the man cave with OP. He just mentioned his friends and nephews.

OP would cement his place in the a**hole hall of fame if he doesn't listen to what his wife is telling him. He is needed by his family.

It does sound like he takes no parental responsibilities down in his bunker unless his wife calls him meanwhile, she never clocks out from being a mom or a partner

His wife shouldn't have to tell him what he needs to do to make her life easier. He is an adult. He is as responsible for their home and family as much as she is.

She also probably feels lonely being alone in their house while OP games in the bunker

OP should spend time just to be with his wife and prepare for their baby

His wife communicated clearly where her issues are coming from

She wants him to be more present for her and their son whether he is home or in his bunker

They found a compromise to try out and see if it works for them

OP realized, thanks to the comments, that he was coasting by just doing the bare minimum because he didn't know any better

It is understandable for OP to spend his working hours in his bunker. Nobody is questioning the validity of that.

However, his time outside of work should be spent with his family and not just devoted to his hobbies. May OP take the lessons he learned from the subreddit and use them as stepping stones to better himself as a husband and a father.

Chelsi