Girlfriend Is Upset Over Being Called A Gold Digger After She Told How Much Money Her BF's Family Spent On Christmas During Her First Time Meeting Them
Meeting a significant other's entire family for the first time can be a nerve-wracking ordeal. Nobody walks into their SO's family home with the intention of making a fool of themselves, but it can happen.
A first impression that bad can make it difficult to face an SO's family, but it is nothing compared to being called a gold digger right off the bat. That's exactly what OP did to her brother's new girlfriend, and she regrets nothing.
OP met Lindsay before when they had drinks and thought she was nice. James brought Lindsay over for an overnight Christmas get-together to meet the rest of their family.
Lindsay immediately complimented OP's Christmas decor when she went inside. Lindsay asked how much money OP spent on the large Christmas tree in their foyer.
OP was taken aback by the question but answered more than what she anticipated and left it at that. Little did she know, Lindsay was just starting with her money-related inquiries.
She asked OP's husband how much their house was, questioned OP about the price of her watch, and asked their stepdad about his salary from his previous job. Lindsay even googled the price of one of the artworks in OP's house and commented how crazy it was to spend so much on one item.
Needless to say, everyone was uncomfortable with her questions
u/golddiggergoogleTheir stepdad pulled James aside and asked him if everything was alright with Lindsay
u/golddiggergoogleHe said it was normal for her to talk about money but he did promise to talk to her about it
u/golddiggergoogleChristmas morning came and they were all gathered to open presents
Lindsay was miraculously mum, so OP assumed James had spoken to her the previous night. They all proceeded to lunch and were talking about their plans for the new year when Lindsay piped up.
She said she didn't know how they can afford to do anything in January after everything they spent on gifts. She proudly said she added all the prices of the gifts and announced to the table the total amount.
The whole family was shocked into silence but OP was annoyed. She remarked that Lindsay must be the most diligent gold digger.
u/golddiggergoogleShe asked her if she wanted to be their accountant since she already tracked their expenses
Lindsay managed to apologize and tried to explain but she was cut off by OP's stepdad changing the subject. Lindsay didn't say anything else after that.
James messaged OP after about how upset Lindsay was. He told OP that she owed both of them an apology but OP thinks Lindsay's disgraceful behavior justified her reproach.
u/golddiggergoogleDiscussing the price of everything someone owns when you just met them for the first time is rude and off-putting
urReplyisDumb
Being called out for her inappropriate line of questioning was simply a consequence of her intrusive questions
crockofpot
You can't approach someone else and ask them to tally the sum of everything they own
wheredMyArmourGo
Yes, they would definitely think you were planning to rob them
catsumoto
Lindsay's astonishment at their spending could be bourne out of a difference in financial upbringing, even then, she isn't a toddler who can't control what she says
peeKnuckleExpert
OP concluding that Lindsay must be a gold-digger was off but after being subjected to those questions, her annoyance was valid
Bridalhat
We can argue about what OP should have said to Lindsay but it still doesn't change the fact that she was asking inappropriate questions that made everyone uncomfortable
FictitiousOwl
Is she a financial advisor or something? Why was money the only thing she could talk about?
NJtoOx
Lindsay overstepped and OP put an end to it as she should. They both can learn from this.
NJtoOx
It could be shocking witnessing how other people spend their money when you are not used to that kind of extravagance. Is it your place to make comments about it? No. Should you compute and ask how they can afford it? Definitely not.
axley58678
It's one thing to say that everything looks so fancy, it's an entirely different conversation when you begin to measure their wealth and announce it in front of everyone
SandBrilliant2675
She's definitely bold. She's only been dating James for 7 months, met OP once, and meeting the rest of the for the first time yet she feels like she can speak to them this way. Where is the audacity coming from?
columbospeugeot, zThrice
There could be a valid reason why Lindsay was so fixated with OP's finances but they did attempt to address it privately
crockofpot
Did she expect them to rethink their plans because she is curious about how they can afford it?
crockofpot
OP said what she said and she can't take that back but neither can Lindsay. How they move forward from this is up to them.
Consistent-Cut9230
It is difficult to move past a disagreement like this one. It was their first time actually spending time with each other, and it was wrong from the moment Lindsay asked her first intrusive question.
James is wrong to demand an apology from OP, especially since he was asked to speak to Lindsay privately about her questions. They need to work on boundaries, and maybe then they can have a do-over with OP & the rest of the family.
