People Share The “Oh, Hell No” Moments That Made Them Realize Their Relationship Is Doomed
Every toxic relationship eventually leads to an 'Oh, hell no' moment that reminds one or both parties that the relationship is completely doomed. After that moment, nothing can ever be the same again, and everything goes sideways.
Even if you happen to be the most patient person on earth, something will eventually trigger you and make you realize that enough is enough. Despite that, being in a toxic relationship means that you are constantly aware of the fact that things will eventually reach a tipping point. But until that day comes, life goes on as usual.
Seeing a completely new side of your partner can also catch you off guard and make you reconsider everything between you. You can only pretend to be someone else for a limited time, and you eventually get exposed by no one else but yourself.
Red flags are usually ignored by people and dismissed as a one-time thing that will never happen again. Ignoring clear signs always leads to the same result, pain, and heartbreak.
A Redditor who goes by the username u/donutnolikey made a post on the r/AskReddit community and asked the following question: 'What was your “OH HELL NAH” moment in a relationship that made you leave?' Scroll down and check out the answers!
1. “She got really upset at me at a party (nothing I did) and started a huge verbal argument.”
Then I demanded that we leave because it was inappropriate to do this as guests in someone’s home. On the way to our place, she hit me a bunch of times demanding “answers” for someone that I slept with before we even met.
She got even more angry and physically violent once we got home, to the point where I had to restrain her before she hurt me or herself for that matter. She screamed to let me go and that if I didn’t she would scream for the police — she looked me in the eye then said “who are they going to believe..?”
For context, we’re both roughly 5’11” but I’ve got about 80 pounds on her. I’m a black man, she’s a white woman. I have never been more afraid of being shot by the police than that night.
---lordbyronxiv
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2. “We were hanging out at his house and he kept pressuring me to have sex.”
I was still a young, naive virgin so I refused. We started watching a movie instead. I went to the bathroom and he stole my car keys. Once I was back on the couch he started trying to take off my clothes. I was scared so I grabbed my purse to leave. That's when he jingles my keys. He said I could have them back once I slept with him. I just ran outside and called my dad. My dad showed up and threatened to beat his a*s if my keys weren't returned. Got my keys and got the f**k out. He continued to stalk me for the next 7 years.
---UnicornQueefsGlitter
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3. “First Mother’s Day as a mum, and just got my first period after a brutal emergency c section.”
I was so sick I could only crawl to the toilet. Should have been hospitalised, but too mentally incoherent to know. Ex ignored the special occasion, ignored my need for help, and ignored our newborn who I was too unwell to feed or hold so he could go out with his mates. When I called him beginning him to come home in tears he made it sound like he was doing me a favour. Kicked him to the curb as soon as I was strong enough. No regrets.
---Separate-Ad-9481
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4. “I was dating this girl for 3 years ( broken up now) it was coming to the end of the relationship.”
We were arguing constantly at one point eventually I just started to agree with her to get her to shut up, so one morning we're awake in bed and she says "we should have a kid" I say yes knowing if I don't it'll just lead to another argument. She tears up and gives me a hug, I hug her and I say well it's gonna take some time because you gotta get off your birth control and she says, with the straightest face in the world "I stopped a month ago" we had been having sex 3 to 4 times a week and I never pulled out any of those times. At that moment right there I decided no more sex and I was gonna end the relationship. You absolutely do not make a life changing decision for your partner without consulting with them first.
---sayziell
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5. “My best friend is female we have been friends for 18 years, was out with a new gf and ran into NY friend at the mall.”
Friend hugged me and I introduced her and I though all was well until we got home. She freaked out and said she broke "girl code" and I wasn't allowed to talk to her anymore... side note she had male friends that I didn't freak out over, I pointed that out and she said "it's different, you're a guy" to which I said she has issues and this wasn't going to work out and I never looked back.
I'm not throwing away a life long friend to appease a jealous girlfriend.
---KorinTor
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6. “I had a dream where everyone in my life treated me like she treats me every day and in my dream it made me kill myself, I woke up in tears and realized truly just how abusive she is. ”
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7. “Never introduced me to his friends.”
Would actively avoid being seen with me by people he knew. I pretty quickly asked him what was his problem. His answer was that I needed to change my appearance because he didn't want people seeing him date a weird goth chick. Dumped him right then.
---weirdest_wallflower
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8. “Ex wife started an argument with me one morning when I was headed to the funeral of a childhood friend.”
I asked if she could not do this right now. Her response was “ohhhh, poor you.” That was the beginning of the end.
---Slydermv
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9. “She had been abusive the whole relationship and had successfully isolated me from all my friends. Except one.”
This guy stuck with me through it all, and put up with horrendous amounts of s**t that I should never have let happen.
She tried everything. She bullied him, called him a pedo, told me she can’t be with someone who has him as a friend, called him racist, everything she could drive him away or pull me away. I didn’t understand what was happening but he did. I thought I was just unlucky enough that the two people I loved most couldn’t understand each other.
Then she gave me an ultimatum. Either she is going to be at our wedding or he is.
I picked him.
---HassanOfTheStory
10. “I had just found out my dog had a tumor and he needed surgery to remove it.”
About 2-3 hours after finding out the news and telling my ex she thought it was a great time to try and pressure me into making vacation plans for her spring break a few months out because we were running out of time to make them. I had no clue how much the surgery was going to cost or if there would be other treatments besides surgery at that point. Since she was in grad school the expectation was I’d pay for the majority of said vacation due to the difference in our income too… There was a very big OH HELL NAH moment where I lost my s**t and let me know I didn’t give a f**k about her spring break and the only thing that mattered was my dogs health and safety. She’s now gone, my dogs healthy, and I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long time!
---bynienar
11. “I was sitting on the couch feeling like I was going to die after a medical procedure when she decided it would be the perfect time to try and punch me in the head because I wasn't paying enough attention to her.”
I picked her dumb a*s up, carried her down six flights of stairs while getting kicked, bit, punched in the head etc and dumped her outside of the building. Went back up to the garage and drove myself straight to the hospital.
I was dying from sepsis as it turned out. I was in the ICU for a week, needed six surgeries and two years to recover. I have permanent kidney damage.
---_John_Dillinger
12. “When I had been the sole breadwinner for fifteen months (then-husband was physically and mentally healthy), deeply in debt, house was always filthy, hadn't hung out with my friends in a year, and hadn't been intimate for a few months.”
I was standing on a chair tying a noose to an I-beam in the basement when it occurred to me that I was basically letting this guy kill me. So I walked instead.
---Anxious_Cap51
13. “I was in a 5 yr relationship with this guy that was psychologically abusive.”
One year, my sister in law was having pregnancy complications so my family all decided to go to their house for Christmas so she didn't have to travel the 5 hrs to get to us. I told my bf and he said "well obvious you're not going". Turns out not getting to see my family on Christmas was just the push I needed.
---luarne
14. “Found a stack of papers sort of stashed in my ex's stuff. ”
It was every email from my gmail account printed out so she could read them at work or something I guess. I dunno, it was weird. It didn't work out.
---c3p0u812
15. “I was on a trip out of town with him and we were out to dinner with one of his friends.”
I can’t remember what we were talking about, but he said something and I corrected him because what he said was factually wrong. When he tried to argue his friend backed me up and also pointed out that he was wrong. This enraged him, though at the time I didn’t know it.
He waited until his friend went to the bathroom and then grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled my head down so forcefully it hit the seat of the booth. He’d been a raging a*****e for most of the relationship and I was pretty much over the relationship at this point due to his constant temper tantrums but this crossed such a line that I was completely stunned. Even more stunned that no one in a crowded restaurant seemed to notice or care. I’ve never been so scared.
I knew in that moment that if I stayed and left that restaurant with him there was a very likely chance he was going to hurt me. It took me a few minutes to process/gather myself, but I realized this s**t was beyond f****d and I had to gtfo now. I excused myself to the bathroom, called an Uber, and went straight to the airport which was only a few minutes away. I told the agent I needed the soonest flight to my home city— there was one leaving in 15 minutes. I had none of my stuff, the airport was empty and I think she could sense my urgency so she called the gate and I made on the plane. By the time my phone began ringing from him realizing I was gone I was buckling my seat.
Found him lurking near my house a few times after that but made it real clear I would go to the police full force if it continued, which luckily scared him off. It took me a long time to process everything and I still get spooked when I see vehicles like his, but I’m super grateful I made it out when I did.
16. “It was already heading down that way, but what got me was one day when he invited his friend to my house (without telling me, while I was at work), and when I came home, they started talking about my cat who they thought should put down because she was 'feral' and given the chance they would do so.”
They claimed she was 'feral' simply because she spent the first weeks of her life outside before she had her leg amputated and found her way to me. Ex didn't like her because 1. I'd gotten her when I was with a previous ex, and 2. she was mean to him because she didn't like the way he handled her and never listened to her warnings to leave her alone.
---Mrs0Murder
17. “He owed me about $3500, most of which I owed to my parents because he used to manipulate me into asking them for money so we could buy weed.”
After over two and a half years of paying for every good time we ever had, constantly stressing over money and getting nothing in return, I was close to giving up on him anyway. Then we went out after work for drinks and he won $100 on the pokies. I had been buying his beers all night so I asked him to shout me ONE back. He said no.
Got home, started cooking us dinner as I always did. I got halfway through chopping the garlic and thought, why the f**k am I still doing this for him!? Put my knife down, looked him dead in the eyes and told him to get the f**k outta my house. Almost three years by that point and it took me less than 5 minutes to end it.
---Madragun
18. “There was a lot of c**p but this was the final straw.”
I locked the door before going to bed one night when he was out late with friends. He had lost his house key and never bothered to mention it, which was somehow my fault.
He woke me up by banging on the window and when I let him in began screaming and throwing things at me. Telling me to pack up my s**t and leave and locked me out of our bedroom. I slept on the couch.
Next morning he acted completely normal, like nothing had happened. I was gone that day because I no longer felt safe.
---swiftsafflina
19. “I had just been medically discharged from the navy (honorable, and not relative to back story other than to set mood).”
I started dating a girl I met around 2 weeks after returning home and 6months into the relationship she developed a tumor (cancer) and I had to drive her to radiation therapy and doctors appointments 2-3 times a week.
We lived around an hour apart but we made it work and I’d drive to her after I got out of college classes and drop her off at her appointments, go back to another class and then come pick her up and take her home.
Fast forward a year later into the relationship her younger sister informed me that she had been lying to me the entire time and that she in fact did not have cancer but was using me to drop her off to her side piece who worked at the hospital. To make it worse, both of her parents knew about it and neither felt it was necessary to inform me.
Never saw her again, never even really “ended” it, just never f*****g went back her way and have been better for it ever since.
Edit : Answering a few questions.
1. I verified by visiting the hospital AFTER her sister had informed me, that was when I learned that her parents had known because I was informed that they sometimes picked her up with her side piece (I guess he didn’t have a car either?) and that the hospital staff just thought I was her brother…
Sub-edit to #1 for clarification : I asked the front desk clerk/nurse on a day that I would have normally dropped my Ex off if she had been in that day for her appointment, that’s when she informed me that she didn’t have any appointments and wasn’t a patient, yes, the nurse violated HIPAA by providing that information.
2. Physical symptoms, she had issues with hair falling out and patchy areas and she was exhausted what seemed like 24/7.
---TrueEggo
20. “He admitted he and his family belonged to a hate group and said the Holocaust was a Jewish media myth.”
I’m not Jewish but my dad was helping smuggle Jews out of Warsaw and got caught and sent to a camp. He had a tattoo just like the Jewish victims. Don’t try to tell me it was a lie.
---Banglapolska
21. “I woke up at 3am to my partner of 11 years muttering at me when he thought I was asleep.”
His tone was so dark and disturbing I felt that if I hadn't woken up to hear him I may not have woken up at all.
He wasnt loud so maybe it was the way he was speaking that made me wake up like I did but my brain was immediately on high alert. I snapped awake and alert in an instant and just knew that I should just stay still and quiet and not let him know I was awake.
What came out of him where all sorts of wild accusatory delusions spat at me with so much venom that 6 years later I still clearly remember the feeling of dread that washed over me. My whole body was weighed down with it.
Our relationship wasn't a great one by any means but it was the first time I genuinely felt afraid of what he would do. I was afraid to speak up but also afraid that if I stayed quiet and let him keep on his rambling that it could progress into something worse and if it came to it I could never have fought him off.
That's when it really clicked to me how seriously he needed professional intervention and that I was not only unable to help him but also that I needed to get out from under the same roof as him as soon as possible.
Paranoid schizophrenia is a b***h and the available mental health care in our area is a joke.
---Wonkeynut
It's never good to ignore the 'Oh, hell no' moments and try to find a way to justify whatever just happened. Ignoring red flags only leads people to more misery and heartbreak, always trust your gut.
The stories featured today should be a reminder to each and every one of us.
