Wife Gets Upset After Husband Refuses To Loan Her Money To Help Her Brother Purchase A House

"I've had a lot of questions and concerns as I've been burned loaning friends/family money in the past."

Jesse

• Published in Interesting
• March 19, 2023

Money is one of the most delicate things couples ever deal with. This is because it’s such a massive part of their lives, and different people often have different money habits.

Some people are more inclined to save most of their money, while others would prefer to spend it all. This makes navigating finances challenging.

Another thing that can make the money matter delicate is loaning partners money. 

Some people aren’t great at paying money they lend back, resulting in conflict. While some people have an issue with trusting that their partner will pay back early enough, even when they have a good record of integrity. It’s often just such an intense situation for many couples. 

We found one Redditor who was experiencing the wrath of his wife after he refused to loan her money.

He shared on the AITA subreddit that his wife had recently asked him about his work bonus and requested that he lend her $10k.

OP asked what she needed this for, and she shared that she wanted to lend it to her brother to help him get a house. However, this answer made OP question a lot of things.

He didn’t hesitate to ask them, which eventually led to his wife getting upset and taking her request for a loan back. She then claimed that she couldn’t rely on OP for financial aid anymore, leading him to ask the critical AITA question.

Scroll down to read the full story!

The story in detail...

OP's wife asked him for a $10k loan to help her brother buy a house

Well, OP had a few questions before deciding on his wife's request

OP has a few concerns, as he doesn't trust her brother to pay back the money. Now his wife is upset and isn't really talking to him anymore

The Reddit community had a lot to say about this story. Let's take a look below:

"If she's so confident thst he will pay her back, she can loan him the money."

"I generally will only lend money if I am 100% OK with not getting it back. Are you 100% OK with not getting this money back?"

"You were well within your rights to ask questions, so yeah, NTA"

"Trust your instincts"

"It wasn’t necessarily rude of your wife to ask, but it is 100% rude for her to be angry that you declined a risk she herself is unwilling to take on."

"She can lend it to him herself from her money."

From this Redditor's POV, OP's wife's brother might just be on the wrong side of Chinese culture

"Tell her she should just loan him her own money and you are happy to give her a small loan if she gets into difficulties"

"Many people get burned by loaning their family large sums of money and never getting it back."

"That is not how to work as a team and you two should talk about it before it gets a repeat on a different matter."

"Only borrow the money if you don't mind never seeing it again."

"Never lend money to friends and family unless you're willing to ruin the relationship."

The popular opinion is that OP is NTA, despite him giving multiple reasons he could be the AH in his post.

According to the commenters, OP’s wife should be the one to take the risk of loaning her brother the money if she wants to help him out so much.

Put yourself in OP’s shoes for a moment. Would you loan out the $10k? Let us know in the comments section!

Jesse