Redditor Gets Ripped Online For Telling His Wife That Her Brother's Mental Illness Is "His Choice"

"Consider yourself lucky to be able to be this judgmental and not know the absolute hell of living with mental illness."

Stephanie

• Published in Interesting
• March 19, 2023

Mental illness is something that most of us have or will experience at some stage in our lives. But for those who are fortunate enough to avoid mental health issues, it can be hard to understand what others go through.

Recently, Reddit user u/Correct_Win_4491 shared a story in the AITA (Am I The A**hole?) subreddit about his BIL, who has bipolar disorder. The OP explained that his wife's brother had mental health and substance abuse issues for as long as he's known him.

He says he would often have "mental meltdowns," which sometimes led to him getting fired or ending up in the mental hospital. About a year ago, the OP said his BIL finally got a bipolar diagnosis and was prescribed some medication which helped him a lot.

However, when OP's BIL refused to take his medication, his behavior began to spiral. And, recently, it seemed that the Redditor's BIL was going to have another meltdown.

The OP's wife was upset and worried about her brother, but the OP told her that it was "his choice" to stop taking his medication and to continue drinking and smoking excessively. The OP says it "shows a lack of character" to do so.

Since his BIL still lives at home with his mother, the OP told his wife the best thing her mother could do is to kick him out and force him to take responsibility for himself. OP's wife was upset by this comment and told him that her brother would most likely need to live with their mother forever.

The Redditor said that his MIL is "weak" and his wife is "making excuses for her screw-up of a brother." Understandably, OP's wife didn't take kindly to those comments and has refused to speak with him about it since.

Of course, the OP doesn't believe he has done anything wrong and says his wife needs to come to terms with her brother's "moral failings." Keep scrolling to see how people reacted.

The OP explained that his BIL has bipolar and sometimes has "mental meltdowns" when he doesn't take his medication.

The Redditor says "it's his choice" to behave the way he does.

He says his wife is "making excuses for her screw-up of a brother."

The OP says he refuses to play games and that his wife is blaming him for her brother's "moral failings."

Here's how people reacted.

"Mental illness is a disease, not a moral failing."

"Why are you saying any of these things?"

"Be a grown up and support your wife."

"Inside thoughts."

"You seem to fundamentally misunderstand mental illness."

NTA.

"Is this really the hill you want your relationship to die on?"

"Kindness costs nothing."

"You're spot on."

"Mental illness is not an excuse."

"He has an illness."

"Where did you get your psychiatric MD?"

"A moral failing?"

"Why are you so hate-filled?"

"Consider yourself lucky."

"Your attitude is attrocious."

What's your take on this situation? Do you think the OP is out of line for his comments about his BIL or is his wife being oversensitive?

Either way, people who don't understand mental (or physical) illnesses shouldn't comment on how others deal with them. After all, if you haven't experienced it, then you don't know.

We would love to hear your opinions on this topic. You can share your thoughts with us in the comment section.

Stephanie