New Mom Struggles With Mother-In-Law Who Crosses Borders By Calling Her Grandchild "Her Baby"

"She consistently referring to my child as “her baby”.

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• December 9, 2023

The arrival of a new baby often heralds joyous celebrations, sleepless nights, and, for some, complicated family situations. This story from a Reddit user, a 32-year-old woman, unfolds a common yet intricate problem faced by many: setting boundaries with an overzealous mother-in-law, especially after the birth of a child. Initially, the relationship between OP and her mother-in-law was smooth.

However, the announcement of her pregnancy turned the tide. The MIL, deeply invested in her firstborn's life, saw in this pregnancy an opportunity to relive motherhood.

She dove into preparations and opinions about every aspect of pregnancy and childbirth, blurring boundaries. This involvement only intensified post-birth, as the MIL started referring to the baby as "her baby," overstepping the mark for OP.

The tension peaked when the MIL's possessive language about the baby led to a confrontation. OP, exhausted and feeling her boundaries constantly violated, finally addressed the issue.

This led to an emotional response from the MIL, who saw no wrong in her actions, citing her own experiences as justification. It's a classic case of generational differences in parenting.

Now, with the MIL as a daycare provider, the situation remains tense, and OP wonders if she's the one at fault. Is it unreasonable to expect a grandmother to respect these new boundaries? How does one navigate this family relationship, especially when they're involved with childcare?

OP's relationship with her mother-in-law was good until she got pregnant. After announcing her pregnancy, her MIL became overly involved, taking charge of planning the baby shower and trying to control decisions about events and doctor visits.

After the birth, OP asked for alone time, but she took it badly. Now, she consistently refers to OP's child as "her baby," and OP can no longer tolerate her boundary issues.

OP asked the MIL not to refer to her child as her baby, which led to an emotional confrontation, OP is concerned about future confrontations and she is seeking input on whether she was in the wrong for making this request.

OP should get new childcare immediately.

OP should consider finding new childcare to avoid negative influence on her child from her MIL.

OP needs to find new childcare arrangements soon.

Grandmother's intentions and actions are questionable.

The situation is unsettling, unhealthy, and poses a danger to OP's child.

OP's mother-in-law has developed a harmful and unhealthy fixation on OP's child.

OP's mother-in-law's actions are controlling and manipulative.

Her behavior is not acceptable, and it's time for OP to assert her rights as the mother of her baby.

She's engaging in parental alienation, which is considered abuse.

OP has every reason to be worried about her mother-in-law's behavior. If the mother-in-law doesn't listen to her requests to stop being too controlling, it could lead to problems between the mother and the child.

So, if things don't improve, OP might have to find someone else to take care of her baby instead of the mother-in-law. The most important thing here is making sure the baby grows up happy and healthy.

Damjan