Nosy MIL Says She Deserves To Know When Son And His Wife Start Trying For A Baby, Leaving Her Confused

"I deserve to know when you’re going to start trying to have kids"

Filip

• Published in Interesting
• September 9, 2023

Every person has the right to define their comfort zones, and others should acknowledge and adhere to them. Respecting someone's boundaries is an essential part of healthy relationships and interpersonal interactions.

Failing to do so can break trust and seriously damage relationships, but some people don't get it and continue to be nosy about other's privacy. This uncomfortable, invasive situation also happened to a Reddit user, and guess who did it: her mother-in-law.

The OP is a 23-year-old female, married to a 27-year-old husband. She recounted a situation where she was told, "I deserve to know when you’re going to start trying to have kids.

I don’t need all the gory details, but I do think I deserve to know the truth and have a heads up". The OP tried to diplomatically explain that such information felt overly personal to them, so they might choose to keep it private due to concerns about potential complications.

But, it was met with strong disapproval as her MIL commented that in her own time of loss, she had sought comfort from her mother. She found it incredibly upsetting that the OP might withhold news of a future grandchild, especially when she felt she would offer unwavering support.

This discussion was over a phone call when the OP and her husband announced their new home purchase. Instead of getting the expected congratulatory comments, they were bombarded with criticisms.

MIL accused them of being inconsiderate and self-centered for not involving others in their decision-making process. She even criticized them for moving a few hours away from them because it supposedly compromised the kind of grandparents they wanted to be.

She added that she was extensively disappointed about the couple's decisions and the desire to be kept in the loop about their life events. But the OP and her husband want to lead their lives without unneeded opinions, so her MIL's perspective really confused her.

The original story:

Her MIL directly told her she deserved to know about their personal plans:

The OP tried to explain that such information is personal to them, but MIL disagreed:

But that was not all, the MIL continued to interfere and criticize their decisions:

This confused the OP:

Moving a few hours away was a good decision

The OP added what her MIL's plans were:

"You should have probably bought a house several states away."

Just ignore her

She is the selfish one

Every individual has the innate right to set their boundaries, and these boundaries need to be respected by others. The foundation of any healthy relationship is built upon understanding and respecting each other's comfort zones.

When these zones are breached, trust can be quickly broken, and that often leads to strained relations. The OP's story demonstrates this very point.

Sharing personal decisions, such as family planning, should remain a personal choice, and no one should feel obligated to disclose such intimate details. They must be allowed to guide their life's journey on their own terms, free from unnecessary interference or scrutiny.

Filip