AITA For Not Ordering Fast Food For My Anxious Teen - Parent Asks
Navigating the challenges of parenting a teenager with social anxiety can be complex and emotionally charged. A recent scenario shared on Reddit highlights the struggles of a father trying to balance fostering independence and providing support for his 15-year-old daughter.
The family's rule is that each member must pay for their fast food and order it themselves. The daughter, who is undergoing counseling for her social anxiety, initially declined to eat before running errands with her father.
However, midway through their outing, she requested to stop at Wendy's. The father agreed but insisted she place the order herself, in line with their household rules, and the counselor's advice aimed at encouraging her to face such situations independently.
Despite her evident discomfort and inability to order, the father maintained his stance, resulting in the daughter not eating and feeling distressed. This decision led to a tense situation, with the daughter upset and the mother criticizing the father's approach, accusing him of letting their daughter go hungry.
This incident has sparked a broader debate about the best ways to support teenagers with social anxiety, questioning whether tough love or a more supportive approach is more beneficial for their development.
Let's dive into the story...
The Story
I told her to grab something to eat before hand but she said she wasn't hungry.
She comes back a few minutes later and tells me she can't order.
We sit for about 10 minutes when I tell her it's time to go.
That I let her go hungry ( I find this stupid I didn't starve her for days it was 4 hour outing) AITA?
I also ran through a script with her at the table but she wouldn't do it.
In this story, a father took his 15-year-old daughter, who has social anxiety, out for errands. When she expressed a desire to stop for fast food, he insisted she place her own order as part of her growth process.
Despite her anxiety, he didn't step in to help, adhering to both household rules and advice from her counselor. The situation ended with the daughter upset and hungry, and the father's wife also displeased with his decision. This incident raises a debate about the right balance between encouraging independence and providing support for teenagers with social anxiety.
Transitioning now, let's look at some of the comments and perspectives shared by others in response to this situation.
NTA. You were on the right side of helping vs enabling, and helping vs doing it for her.
Would your daughter feel better if you were up at the counter with her?
You are definitely doing the right thing by allowing your daughter space and opportunity to be uncomfortable.
If she wasn’t ready, she wasn’t ready. You have food at home.
Hunger is a good motivator.
Maybe next time she will eat before hand or pack some granola and a sandwich.
You even went over what to say to help her out.
You sound like a good dad.
What do you think about the father's decision?
Was he right to push his daughter towards independence, or should he have offered more support in this situation?
Share your thoughts and let us know what actions you would have taken if you were in his shoes.
