Father Asks If He Should Pay College-Aged Daughter To Do Household Chores And Babysit Half-Siblings
In a world where family responsibilities often intersect with personal goals, a recent conversation between a father and his college-bound daughter highlights the challenge of balancing household chores with academic pursuits.
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OP, a hardworking father, supports his 20-year-old daughter throughout her college years by providing her with a rent-free home. He expects her to contribute to the household by handling typical daily tasks like cooking and cleaning.
Occasionally, she also looks after her five-year-old twin brothers when OP is busy with work or personal matters. The issue arose when the daughter expressed her feelings of being overwhelmed.
She mentioned that she's okay with domestic chores but found looking after her siblings to be stressful and disruptive to her studies. OP, drawing from his own experiences as a student and parent, felt his daughter was acting entitled.
Family dynamics came into play when OP's sister intervened, suggesting that the daughter should receive an allowance for her contributions to the household. While OP believes that providing free accommodation and covering college expenses should be sufficient, his sister argued that circumstances have changed since OP's college days.
The central question remains: Is OP wrong for not wanting to pay his daughter extra for her household chores?
OP's 20-year-old daughter, who lives rent-free while attending college, has expressed concerns about her workload. She's willing to do household chores but finds watching her younger siblings stressful and disruptive to her studies.
The OP believes that supporting his daughter by covering her living expenses and educational costs should be sufficient, and in exchange, he anticipates her assistance with household responsibilities and childcare.
Her primary responsibility is not OP's kids; they're his responsibility.
Her watching OP's kids is a favor, not her responsibility
It's fair to ask for help, but it's also important to respect her own life and commitments, and not always expect her to prioritize OP's plans over hers.
Instead of paying her, OP should hire a babysitter to allow his daughter more time for studying.
Babysitting isn't a simple task; it's more demanding than typical chores like dishwashing.
OP is in the wrong for not paying attention to his daughter when she's expressing her struggles.
She's OP's child, and living rent-free is reasonable since she likely can't afford rent elsewhere.
Regular chores are one thing, but consistent babysitting is a different story
Raising children is a choice, and OP should not employ it as a means to manipulate his grown-up daughter.
Paying for your child's tuition is a non-negotiable parental responsibility when you can afford it.
The best thing they can do is talk openly and kindly with each other. They should try to find a balance where the daughter still helps at home but can also focus on her college work.
Maybe they can change how often she looks after her brothers or what chores she does. It's important for OP to understand that college today is different from when he was a student. The goal is to support the daughter in college while making sure things are fair at home.