Redditor Asks If It Is Wrong For Wanting To Do Only Fun Stuff With His Niblings But Refusing To Babysit

"I do not do diapers, bath time, fix kids meals or put them to bed."

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• March 30, 2023

Parents often rely on babysitters to take care of their children while they are away at work, running errands, or enjoying a night out. However, finding reliable babysitters can be challenging, and it can be even more challenging when your regular babysitter cancels at the last minute.

It's understandable that parents may feel stressed or frustrated when their babysitter cancels and they are left without childcare. However, it's important to remember that it is not appropriate to force someone who is uncomfortable or unwilling to babysit.

The main character, a 32-year-old man, is child-free and does not like children in general but has a good relationship with his eight nieces and nephews. He occasionally spends time with them but has a hard boundary of not babysitting, parenting or being responsible for someone else's children.

He is willing to do fun activities with them, but not the caretaking responsibilities. His mother, who loves children, offered to babysit for his sister's kids tonight, but his brother failed to arrange childcare, and his mother asked him to help watch all five kids.

He refused, stating that it violates his hard boundary and that he is uncomfortable with it. His mother called him ungenerous and selfish, but he believes that he is plenty generous with both his time and money for his nieces and nephews.

OP asks:

OP is childfree and does not like children in general, but has a good relationship with his eight nieces and nephews.

He takes them to the zoo and does the fun stuff

But he has clear boundaries

His mother is the exact opposite

His mother offered to babysit for his sister's kids tonight, but his brother failed to arrange childcare and his mother asked him to help watch all five kids.

He refused, stating that it violates his hard boundary and that he is uncomfortable with it

His mother called him ungenerous and selfish, but he believes that he is plenty generous with both his time and money for his nieces and nephews.

OP clarified some things:

OP posted an edit:

His siblings did not ask him, they are aware of his boundaries:

Final edit:

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

The situation is pretty clear here:

OP knows her boundaries, which is a good thing

"You can't force people to be in your village just because you decided to have kids."

Not an emergency

So true

OP mentioned again that her siblings are not the problem:

They know where OP stands

The bottom line is:

Regarding the main character's situation, it's possible that his mother's persistent pressure to babysit was her attempt to encourage him to love children and possibly want to have some of his own. However, it's important to respect others' choices and preferences when it comes to having children and forcing someone to babysit is not the solution.

Ultimately, having open communication and respect for each other's boundaries is crucial in maintaining healthy relationships with family members.

Damjan