30 Self-Portraits Artist Has Made While Under The Influence Of Different Drugs, And They Perfectly Show How They’ve Affected His Perspective
Drugs greatly influence the way we see the world around us. It also affects the way we see ourselves also.
Bryan Lewis Saunders, an artist, made a pledge to himself in March 1995 to paint a new self-portrait every day for the rest of his life. He has kept this commitment to this day; Saunders has completed approximately 12,400 of them.
While this may appear to be quite an experiment in and of itself, in the year 2000, he set out to develop a more radical subseries within the project. "Under The Influence" was born after the artist painted dozens of self-portraits while on mind-altering narcotics.
He grew lethargic and developed mild brain damage within weeks. Saunders became a regular visitor to the hospital.
Despite this, he continued to draw. The artist sought "experiences that may drastically impact his concept of self," and you can't help but think he succeeded when you see how different each of the drawings from "Under The Influence" is.
The brain damage caused "psychomotor retardation and bewilderment," according to Saunders, but it was repairable. He's still doing it, but with a long pause in between, and he's only taking drugs that a doctor has prescribed for him now.
We've selected some of his most interesting self-portraits. Take a look, but, please, don't try to do the same.
1. Opium
2. 3mg Klonopin
3. Celexa (Dosage Unknown)
4. 1/2 Gram Cocaine
5. 1 Shot Of Dilaudid / 3 Shots Of Morphine (In The ER With Kidney Stones)
6. Alcohol
7. Marijuana (G13)
8. Bath Salts
9. Heroin (Snorted)
10. 15mg Buspar (Snorted)
11. Psilocybin Mushrooms (2 Caps Onset)
12. 90mg Abilify (After 3 Months Usage 3x Maximum Dose)
13. 4mg Dilaudid
14. Morphine IV (Doseage Unknown)
"The drug series started in 2000 when I moved into an 11-story building with the intention of making a documentary on all of the interesting folks who lived there," Saunders explains. "In Johnson City, the building is known for its creeps and loonies."
However, a particularly trying era in the artist's life forced the series to be postponed when he moved in. One of his close friends perished in a fire, another attempted suicide but suffered brain damage and chronic confusion, and Saunders' lung collapsed while he was still in the hospital.
15. Khat (Chew And Tea)
16. Huffing Lighter Fluid
17. Marijuana Resin
18. 10mg Ambien
19. Nitrous Oxide
20. Ativan / Haloperidol (Doseage Unknown In Hospital)
21. 20mg Valium
22. LSD
23. 1 "Bump" Of Crystalmeth
When Saunders returned from a hiking expedition, he became dehydrated accidentally, began hallucinating, and had a mental break during which he abandoned his companion at a monastery, believing he was attempting to poison him.
"I returned to Tennessee on the Greyhound, where I had an epiphany. I decided that not only would I sketch myself every day, but I would also try a new substance every day.
After all, in the structure, there was one of everything... That's when I officially began working on the project."
Saunders' need to experience as many various things as possible was fueled by a combination of gloomy despair and simple access.
24. Huffing Gas (During And After)
25. 2 Bottles Of Cough Syrup
26. Carbon Monoxide Inhalation
27. DMT (During And After)
28. 1 sm Glass Of Absinth
29. PCP
30. Abilify / Xanax / Ativan (Dosage Unknown In Hospital)
He described the photographs as "excruciatingly upsetting and morbidly horrifying" when they initially went viral in January 2011. After that, Saunders received a lot of hate mail.
"Either they wanted the pleasure of putting me down like an animal, or they wanted to commit suicide themselves. Sleazy businesses also emerged from the woodwork," he says. "It's been so much kinder and friendlier this time."
