Man Pays For Tons Of Activities For His Daughter, Wife Wants The Same For Her Daughter

"My wife should be the one paying"

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• September 5, 2023

Blended families can be challenging to manage, especially when it comes to allocating resources and balancing kids' activities. As parents, it's always a juggle to meet the different needs of our children while maintaining fairness.

A Reddit user recently shared a dilemma involving his stepdaughter and biological daughter who has the internet debating: Who should get priority when money is tight?

OP has a 14-year-old biological daughter, Zoey, who is a whirlwind of activity. Zoey's days are filled with painting, violin, basketball, and ballet classes.

In contrast, his 15-year-old stepdaughter, Annie, has traditionally been content with screen time and hasn't expressed interest in extracurriculars until recently. The tension escalated when OP's wife asked him to enroll Annie in a class, implying that Zoey would need to give up one of her own activities to make room in the budget.

This predicament has attracted a multitude of opinions. Suddenly asking Zoey to discontinue one of her established activities doesn't seem justifiable.

Family life, at its best, should be a landscape of compromise, not a zero-sum game. Many users suggest that OP find a balanced approach rather than choosing one child's interests over another's.

Recommendations include reassessing the family budget or even hosting a candid family discussion to lay out everyone's expectations and needs. Read the full story below:

OP asks:

OP has a 14-year-old biological daughter, Zoey, who is a whirlwind of activity. Zoey's days are filled with painting, violin, basketball, and ballet classes.

The tension escalated when OP's wife asked him to enroll Annie in a class, implying that Zoey would need to give up one of her own activities to make room in the budget.

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

"It seems your wife doesn't want to take money from her daughters college fund "

His wife is trying t manipulate him. And it is completely natural for OP to doesn't love her daughter as much as he loves his - they only met a couple of years ago. It takes time

Something is very off in the way OP writes about his stepdaughter. His marriage too

They are both behaving like a-holes

Maybe there is a reason for Annie spending so much time on her phone...

"She wants to have her cake and eat it too"

Why does she need so many activities to keep her entertained?

"This kind of favoritism will breed resentment among the girls "

They roughly get the same amount, only structured differently

The bottom line is:

This situation clearly calls for a family meeting where transparency reigns. OP's wife needs to understand that the issue isn't about favoring Zoey but about maintaining fairness and acknowledging long-standing commitments.

If Annie genuinely wants to engage in a new activity, the family as a unit should work to accommodate that desire—be it through budget alterations, shared costs, or locating less expensive opportunities. However, suddenly asking Zoey to discontinue one of her established activities doesn't seem justifiable.

Family life, at its best, should be a landscape of compromise, not a zero-sum game.

Damjan