Twitter user @ryanstephens shared his thoughts on having good relationships. Stephens and his wife have changed their outlook towards being "teammates", rather than soulmates. They claim that this approach has changed their relationship for better and following these six simple guidelines has strengthened their marriage.
Stephens initially set these guidelines in relation to marriage; however they can really be applicable for any relationship. Marriage is no longer the be-all and end-all of relationships, which is why you should consider applying these rules to most of your relationships; from friends to family. The importance of being on the same team cannot be underrated, and these people swear by it!
My wife and I have found that focusing more on being teammates and less on being soulmates is a solid recipe for marital success.— Ryan Stephens 🥃 (@ryanstephens) March 6, 2019
Here's quick thread on the 6 rules we try to follow to be a good teammate to each other in our marriage.
1.) No one should ever hear anything bad about your spouse from you.— Ryan Stephens 🥃 (@ryanstephens) March 6, 2019
It's one thing to joke with friends about something trivial and quite another to demean your spouse's character.
Know the difference and always discuss the latter with your spouse and no one else.
2.) Over communicate.— Ryan Stephens 🥃 (@ryanstephens) March 6, 2019
You cannot read each other’s minds.
Never assume the other person knows what you meant.
Give each other the benefit of the doubt when miscommunications happen.
Double check if necessary.
3.) Try new things together.— Ryan Stephens 🥃 (@ryanstephens) March 6, 2019
Even if one of you is typically more adventurous than the other, have fun with it.
Trying new things gets an individual out of their comfort zone and is often easier as a couple, allowing you both to grow stronger together.
And support you when you're on top of the world as well as when you're being crushed by it.
4.) Be each other’s champion. Celebrate wins and encourage each other.— Ryan Stephens 🥃 (@ryanstephens) March 6, 2019
Bring home champagne after a promotion at work, back each other up when engaging in that battle with your heathen toddler, work out together, etc.
Never cut the other person down when they're struggling.
5.) Be grateful for each other’s contributions.— Ryan Stephens 🥃 (@ryanstephens) March 6, 2019
Whether it be money, time, chores, childcare, or anything else, no one contribution is greater than another.
And don’t keep score.
If you truly value each other’s input, then the scorecard shouldn’t (and doesn’t) matter.
6. Trust and respect each other.— Ryan Stephens 🥃 (@ryanstephens) March 6, 2019
Especially in front of others, including your children.
If you do not respect your spouse in front of other people, why should those people respect your spouse?
Marriage, or any long-term relationship, is not *all* about love & romance.— Ryan Stephens 🥃 (@ryanstephens) March 6, 2019
It’s about working at it day in and day out.
It’s about choosing your partner every day...
You can read the full post from my wife here:https://t.co/D1vMvnjixA
You all -— Ryan Stephens 🥃 (@ryanstephens) March 8, 2019
The absolute BEST thing about this entire thread is the amount of you tagging your spouse and significant other and celebrating the fact that you're doing most/all of these.
It's not always easy and we don't always get it right, but it's certainly worth it to try. 🍻
We heard you!— Ryan Stephens 🥃 (@ryanstephens) March 9, 2019
We are not experts, but we are passionate about this topic.
We'd love for you to join us on this journey to get Dialed In.
We're going all in & writing an ebook—more depth, real life examples, exercises, etc.
PRE-ORDER DISCOUNT HERE:https://t.co/ze357JSCQ8
I love all this pointers, So true I can attest to this in my marriage.— Amina Means (@Aminameans) March 6, 2019
It’s so important to over communicate to avoid hidden assumptions which kills a lot of relationships
I also thought the same thing!
would’ve never expected 6 rules of marital success from a grumpy profile photo with a glass of scotch next to the name! cheers!— yu (@yuhollinger) March 6, 2019
Yes. Yes. Yes! Got married at 18 and our 25th anniversary is nxt year. Everyone thought we would fail. We are both 42 and about to watch our eldest son get married. We always say #weareaneffectiveteam (Oblivion quote!) #bestfriends #teamwork— MotheroftheGroom (@MotheroftheG) March 7, 2019
*holds hand up for points 1-6*— .::AJ (@ajhuxlee) March 7, 2019
My wife and I do all of these. We bicker, sure, but have never had a serious argument in our 11 years together.
Always tell them you love them. We do this at least 5 times a day, and we mean it when we say it. Good thread.
Fifteen years together, ten of marriage and we’ve found the exact same has worked wonders for us. Teamwork makin’ the dream work.— Madison Easter (@MaddyFatty) March 7, 2019
Why does this make more sense than the 10 commandments?— Senzesihle Shabangu (@iamSenzesihle) March 7, 2019
Almost 29 years of married happiness are proof that your rules are indeed the key. We have followed all 6 from the start. Add to it laughing together and always reminding yourself of what you loved in each other when you met.— V. David-Martin #The5Million #InLimbo (@vdavidmartin) March 7, 2019
And tbh, same.
Fair play to you on your marriage guidance.— thisistheafterlife (@SavingTheNHS) March 7, 2019
I've been married 15 years and couldn't even confidently advise another couple on how to arrange their cutlery drawer.