Couple At Loggerheads As Pregnant Mom Endures Catering To Toddler Alone While Still Getting An Earful About Being Lazy

“I love being a mum but I cannot take the stress of being the childcarer, cleaner and cook.”

Jesse

• Published in Interesting
• December 9, 2023

Being a stay-at-home mom wasn’t a stroll in the park, and our narrator (Original Poster) had the battle scars to prove it. Add a perpetually awake baby into the mix, and you've got a recipe for absolute mayhem.

OP’s husband was a doctor, so he worked marathon hours and night shifts. And with the recent UK crisis, they were left with just half his wage. 

So, with the financial stress, baby stress, and another baby on the way, OP’s home turned into a war zone—they were always fighting over one thing or the other. 

OP hadn’t experienced a full night's sleep since the baby bump days. Family help was also a distant dream—her family was out of the picture due to a history of abuse, and the in-laws weren’t exactly young enough to handle the energy levels of a baby on overdrive.

This meant OP had to wake up over ten times a night—every single night to soothe her restless baby. Her husband took to sleeping in a different room to prevent being a safety hazard at work. 

Burnout was an understatement for what OP felt: the house was a mess, dishes were piled high, and the laundry overflowed. 

This became a constant source of conflict as OP’s husband couldn’t get why the house was a disaster since she ‘did nothing all day’—this was coming from someone who couldn’t tend to the baby for three hours without falling apart.

He at least got some downtime for TV or games, but OP hadn’t caught a break since forever. All attempts to get him to help fell on deaf ears; in his words, he was doing his part raking in the income, so she should do hers.

Was requesting a little assistance too much to ask?

The story in detail

A bit of background

Catering to the baby alone has been very difficult for OP and she wants her husband to help out a bit

OP also revealed that her partner has a habit of complaining about her “laziness”, without being empathetic to her struggles

OP just can’t take it anymore. She’s burnt out and needs help

Here’s how the Reddit community reacted to the story:

“The best advice I got for being a partner is to stop blaming one another for the problems. Instead figure out how to solve them.“

“Older husband who think she’s lazy but refuses to help with anything, and certainly some financial control sprinkled on top.”

“NTA. You‘re both burnt out, but his assumption that you don‘t work and are lazy makes him a huge AH.”

“He can't stand being with the baby for more than 3 hours without being stressed. Why does he think it's not the same for you?“

“NTA… Why does he get to play video games while you don’t get a break. Ask your husband if he wants to switch.”

“NTA…But there's a lot to unpack here. I'm not a therapist, but I suggest you see one soon.”

“He needs to understand that Just because you are home doesn't mean you are not working.“

OP’s husband faced a lot of backlash for undermining the challenges of motherhood l. Sure, he was a doctor, but parenting was a 24-hour job.

They both had very stressful jobs, and OP’s husband wasn’t being a good parent. She wasn’t just asking for help; it is his own child, too. The consensus was clear: OP’s husband needed to do better.

What do you think about this story? Let us know in the comments. 

Jesse