35 Parenting Trends People Strongly Disagree With
Parenting is not for the weak-hearted. It is hard, grueling, and rewarding work.
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And everywhere you turn, every person you may seek advice from, you will undoubtedly receive conflicting information. While figuring out and implementing your parenting style is typically well thought out and strategic, there are endless options to choose from.
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“What not to do” or, “How to,” when raising children can be heavily debated. A lot of folks believe they have figured out the “best” and “right” way to raise a child and can be VERY passionate about it.
There is no denying that there are some controversial parenting trends, like vaccination, spanking, to things as seemingly trivial as how to feed your child. Rest assured, there is no one “right” way to parent, except what works best for you and your family.
While we may be able to agree on the fact that there is no one “right” way to parent, it may be easier to agree on what parenting trends are total baloney. Thanks to Redditor Qquackie who asked “What parenting 'trend' do you strongly disagree with?” we were able to collect some of the best-rated responses regarding some questionable parenting trends.
Continue scrolling to see what made the list.
What parenting 'trend' do you strongly disagree with?
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1. Overly structuring childhood
I guess the overall trend of prioritizing academics/extracurriculars and college admissions over everything else. Give your kids some chores and let them hang out with their friends outside of structured sports and musical activities!
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2. Making their children spend time with family who treats them poorly
Making your kids spend time with family even though they get treated bad. Like inlaws who would rather spend time with their other grandkids and not yours.
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3. That education and studying is the only important thing
telling kids that studying is the only thing that they do in choldhood and that everything else is just useless stuff
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4. Romanticizing alcoholism or blaming children for your drinking problem
All of the "wine mom" merch, down to shirts for children that say horrible things like: "I'm the reason Mommy drinks"
Like, dress it up as much as you want, but "alchololism" isn't cute, as much as you want to convince yourself of it. Let alone, clothing for your CHILD who didn't ask to be born, to be treated like their existence is a burden to you. I've seen stuff like this in the kids section, from infancy to middle school sizes.
That's a trauma trifecta right there.
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5. Placing excessive responsibilities on children
Pushing them too hard in sports, academics, etc. Like pushing til they need therapy or get injured, no free time, no downtime. FFS, they only get to be young & without excessive responsibilities once.
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6. Not teaching respect for all living creatures
Allowing kids to constantly mess with pets, even when the pet is giving warnings that they'll attack soon.
Parents, this is a pretty solid way to start teaching kids about consent from the get go.
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7. Forcing them to ignore their body to "prevent" food waste
The thing every parents including mine said. "Finish your plate" or "Finish your plate or you won't get any dessert".
It gave you an unnecessary goal to shove food you don't want down your throat and made that into a lifelong habit. Fortunately I've always been into sports but many aren't, so now obesity is everywhere.
I knew it was a bad habit and I wouldn't stay fit for my entire life if I kept eating until I get a stomachache every single meal so I worked hard for years to finaly get rid of this habit in my early 20s when I moved into my apartment.
I will never do this to my kids.
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8. Not allowing their child to have a voice
Parents who punish their kids for speaking up or otherwise explaining something, saying that they're "talking back". I honestly don't get why most parents refuse to admit they're not always right sometimes. Besides, what if their kid one day comes up to them and says another adult is touching them inappropriately?
9. Not letting their child experience any challenges
The “bulldozer” parent - ie the parent who removes all obstacles/challenges from a child’s life so they don’t learn about perseverance, problem solving, failure (sometimes you can try hard and still not get the reward) and learning from mistakes - unless the goal is to develop a highly anxious person - then, being a bulldozer parent is great.
10. Making failure seem like the ultimate crime, instead of a common part of life
Making your child terrified to fail. I remember constantly being told if I ever even got a “C” or below— on even something as minor as a pop quiz— I would be “flipping burgers for a living.” I was so unmotivated to even try by the time high school came, because it had been drilled into me that I was destined to be a loser.
11. Using their childrens emotional distress for 'likes'
I don’t know how much of a trend it was but I’m TikTok there was a trend of parents throwing away their kids art in front of them and the parents would like laugh while the kid was sobbing.
That’s fucked up! Of course you can’t keep every art work your kid makes but you throw it away when they aren’t home or asleep. My mom used to wait until I was asleep and throw it away in the outside can
The kids I babysit there parents ask me to take their art they do with me so it doesn’t pile up but I tell them I’m keeping it because it’s so good
There’s no reason to make your kid feel like they aren’t a good artist or just feel like their parents don’t care for some TikTok views
12. Letting their children control everything
Letting the kid make all the choices. I believe kids should have reasonable choices, like what their snack is and the character that's on their bedspread, but you can't let your 3 year old decide when you're allowed to leave your house. The world doesn't work that way.
13. Not educating their children about sex
not educating your kids about sex because it's an "uncomfortable topic"
14. Not potty training
Oh man, I’m a nanny and work in daycare. I can talk so much about this.
One is late potty training. Waiting to potty train a child is more and more common. Which I generally agree with. Wait until they’re 2.5-3 and knock it out. Some take longer, some are probably ready earlier. Better than rushing it and causing issues.
What this has turned into. Not potty training. I nanny a 4 year old that is still in pull ups. She is more than capable of using the potty.
Our 4 year old classroom just installed a diaper genie because so many 4 year olds are starting preschool in diapers.
My best friend who is a Kindergarten teacher had 2 kids start kindergarten in diapers. Luckily they’re potty trained now.
15. Forcing their child to hug people
Making children hug people they are not comfortable with.
16. Letting their children use loud devices in public
Loud cartoons and games on tablets in public places
17. Not teaching their children respect or consequences
Pretending that not parenting is parenting.
'I wont tell my child to stop kicking your leg repeatedly because i don't want to crush his spirit!'
18. The trend of constant and lavish celebrations for their children
The social media trend that keeps upping the expectations for birthday parties and any celebration connected to a kid.
When I was a kid, birthdays consisted of a handmade invitation made by me, a cake from the grocery store, food that my Mom cooked and then inviting some friends and family over for games.
Today's expectation is that every monthversary and half-birthday consist of a huge arch of balloons that will end up in the trash, a customized three-tier fondant cake, gift wrapping that color-coordinates with the themed party favors and of course, a very intentional outfit for the numerous photo ops that will take up most of the day. Anything for the 'gram, right?
Don't even get me started on gender reveal announcements.
19. The trend of pranking their children with expensive gifts swapped for something less desired
That thing where they pretend they got their kids a ps5 for example, the kids are freaking out with excitement, but then its just a ps5 box filled with books or something.
20. Being permissive in the name of "gentle parenting"
Fake “Gentle Parenting”
You hear and see so many parents letting their children do whatever they want, no matter how destructive, rude or hurtful their behaviours are. Parents find themselves beholden to the whims of their childrens’ emotions in the name of gentle parenting, instead of true gentle parenting where (so I hear) boundaries are set alongside validating emotions.
21. Allowing social media access to their children
Creating social media channels for your children where they proceed to upload videos and photos of their kids. Perfect place for pedophiles.
22. Talking down to their children
Talking down to kids and making them feel stupid. Sure maybe at 5 they aren't the most intellectual people, but 9/10 year old are smarter then people give them credit for. Don't talk to then like they are stupid because they are not. The only thing that does is lower their self esteem and makes them feel small.
23. Not allowing privacy
When I was a teenager my parents took away the door to my room.
It's normal for teenagers to pull away from their parents, I guess this wasn't acceptable to her and she wanted to keep an eye on me at all times.
I still have severe issues relating back to this one action. This is after years of therapy and no contact.
To anyone considering this as some form of "punishment", Let me stop you right there. Nothing will get your child to disown you faster than not giving them privacy.
I think she got the idea from Dr.phil Useless cunts, the both of them.
24. Being anti-vaccine
Not vaccinating your child.
25. Using their child's talent to boost their self-worth
Abusing the talents of your child just to boost your self image in society
26. Refusing to believe when their child messes up
Not believing the teacher ever. “My kid never lies to me”.
Seriously. Parents absolutely should be their kid’s biggest supporter. But support sometimes means holding the kid responsible when they don’t do the right thing.
27. Being their kids best friend
'My son/daughter is my best friend.'
No, they aren't. They have their own friends and have the agency to choose them for themselves. Over the course of a lifetime, they will have several 'best friends' but they will only have one father and mother.
Your job is to be a parent. You can't do that properly if you are trying to be a friend.
28. Not allowing any negative experiences or emotions
Denying your kid any negative experiences or emotions.
They are a normal part of being a person, teach them to handle negative emotions now before you send them out into a world they are not prepared to handle.
29. Not allowing their child to explore independently
Nonstop supervision. Hovering over them at every turn. Whatever happened to tossing them in a play area in another room and letting them create, explore, and get the occasional bumps?
30. Not saying 'no' to their child
Not saying no to your child. They have to learn to deal with a no sometimes, and having a chat about why it is no and whether it could be a yes another time is also an important part of them learning to deal with no.
31. Not teaching your kids to be respectful in public
Letting you kids run amok everywhere and then being furious when other people are annoyed. I'm an older mom. I was raised with the idea that you have a social contract with others to not be a pain in the ass. I don't let my kids go nuts in public. When they are having a hard time, we leave. I don't expect them to be angels for hours in adult situations, but being told to not be loud and crazy at the grocery or in line somewhere is not child abuse. Letting you kids be a hellion that everyone else cringes to see is so unfair to your kids.
32. Helicopter parenting
Helicopter parenting, kids need freedom to explore the world, get dirty, engage in free play. I am not advocating putting the child outside o a Saturday morning and telling them to come home when the street lights come on, but an age acceptable level of freedom.
33. Not teaching or setting clear boundaries
Not setting clear boundaries. You are the adult, not the kid. Children benefit sooo much more from clear rules and consequences.
34. Forcing older children to cater to the whims of the youngest
always letting kids win/do what they want, its unfair on older siblings because i get given chores and my little sister gets to sit about doing nothing and getting whatever she wants completely free
35. Teaching their children to keep secrets, no matter what
Saying “what goes on in this house, stays in this house.” I know hundreds of victims of abuse, go through years of pain because of this phrase.
Did any of the responses resonate with you, or maybe surprise you? Do you disagree or think we may have missed some more annoying parenting trends?
What would you do differently as a parent? Let us know what you think in the comments, and share this with your fellow parent-friends!
