Women Share What They Do To Try And Feel Safe In Public And Almost Every Woman Agrees
Recently the headlines have been full of distressing and upsetting content--perhaps even more so than usual. With the death of Sarah Everard, as she was walking home, the news is full of stories of sexual harassment, and how unsafe the world can be for women.
Women all over the world are saying that enough is enough. We are pointing out how the responsibility of keeping ourselves safe has been placed on us, not on the men around us.
Over on Twitter, these women have been sharing the things that they do, subconsciously, and out of habit, in order to try and, well, not get murdered by a man for simply living their life.
While men are saying #notallmen, women are retailing with the fact that all women do these:
Every woman you know has taken a longer route.
— Harriet Johnson (@HarrietEJohnson) March 10, 2021
Has doubled back on herself.
Has pretended to dawdle by a shop window.
Has held her keys in her hand.
Has made a fake phone call.
Has rounded a corner and run.
Every woman you know has walked home scared.
Every woman you know.
There has never been a bigger sigh of relief than when you get home safe after noticing a scary looking man.
Has locked her car doors as soon as she has sat down.
— Joy Persaud (@JoyPersaud) March 10, 2021
Has avoided the top deck at night.
Has got off a Tube stop earlier.
Has sighed with relief on getting home safely while locking the door.
Has told a cabbie to drop her off slightly further down the road.
The fact that so many women were able to join into the thread shows how many tactics women have developed merely to try and stay safe
Has said to a woman she doesn't know 'Can I pretend I'm with you?'
— Dr Georgina Porter (@queenofswords6) March 12, 2021
Has hidden in the Ladies for ages.
Has checked the back seat before driving home.
Has changed carriages on the train.
Has walked down the middle of the road at night.
Has said 'stay on the phone till I'm home.'
Got a crick in my neck from checking my surroundings so hard!
Reverse parks in a car-park space for a quick get-away.
— TTNeb (@ZH956) March 11, 2021
Considers which parking space to use.
Constantly checking surrounding area walking home, staying on high alert rather than appreciating sights and sounds.
Planning outfit for practicality.
Arranging the I'm home signal.
Always! Wait! Until! They're! Inside!
Has waited and not driven off until the friend she just dropped off has safely disappeared inside her front door or waved from inside her flat
— Hel_InAHandCart 💙NHS #BLM #GTTO (@HelDoc369) March 10, 2021
Having to scream "fire" because people are more likely to respond to it is deeply upsetting.
Doesn’t park next to vans. Crosses the street when a man is approaching on the same side. Has driven to a safe store or bar rather than home, because she feels she is being followed. Should know to scream fire instead of help, because people respond to fire more than help.
— KELLI GRUBB (@KATIEDOLL1201) March 11, 2021
Being the only woman on public transport feels dystopian and terrifying.
Has moved train carriages when there are only men left in the hopes there are women on another one
— Kimberley Goode (@goode_kimberley) March 10, 2021
Footsteps are a very scary sound.
Has held her keys in her hand, even in daylight.
— jane kennedy (@janeyalexk) March 10, 2021
Has looked up and down the lane as she leaves the front door.
Has heard footsteps when she is walking the dog and felt anxious.
Has parked her car under lamp posts.
Has stood strong, full of fear.#asone
The line between "being nice so he won't attack me for being rude" and "being rude so he goes away but might attack me for being rude" is paper thin.
Has got a taxi home less than a mile because it’s late
— Angie & Sophie 💙💙 (@LoudbirdPR) March 10, 2021
Has been nice to a creepy man harassing her in a bar because she doesn’t want him to turn nasty
Has speed walked
Has been totally aware of every other person around her
Has texted her friends to say she’s home safe
All of these are done "just in case" because the alternative is so much worse.
Has taken her eyes off her drink for all of 10 seconds and thought ‘I can’t drink that now...just in case.’
— charlie (@charxcvi) March 10, 2021
"Text me when you get home!"
Has called a friend/partner from the cab
— Liz Love (@lizzielove) March 10, 2021
Has texted cab details to a friend to leave a trail
Has insisted a friend texts/calls when home safe
Has checked behind themself in the hotel check in queue when receiving their room number
The worst part is that they are so normal that you forget that they shouldn't be.
Do you know what, I’ve never realised until now that I do these things. Growing up they’ve just been a natural thing for me to do and it’s really heart breaking that as girls and women we have to go to extreme lengths to protect ourselves. Such a sad, sad world that we live in.
— Sophia (@sophiacapricexx) March 14, 2021
The people men are scared of though? Probably also men.
The amount of men saying, “but I’m scared too 😞😡”...
— Sailor Melancholia (@CalamitousCait) March 11, 2021
Men may fear for their safety, sure, but the fear is not ever present. Nor is it rooted in gender identity. Being a woman in a society where female objectification and ownership is a lingering norm makes you a target.
If you are only bringing up men's problems to diminish those faced by women maybe reconsider your priorities.
Acknowledging someones struggle & pain does not take away from anyone elses. It's not a limited commodity which women are trying to hog. Her tweet is a sad fact, not an attempt of women gatekeeping fear of abuse. Suffering isn't a competition...no one's a winner here.
— Soe Gschwind (@Soembie) March 10, 2021
Shout out to women: when existence shouldn't be this hard.
Do you have any tips to add? Share them in the comments below.
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