Moms have a lot on their plate. In most households they're the chef, the secretary, the cleaner, the teacher (especially during Covid!) the nurse, the psychologist, the taxi driver, the referee... and the list goes on and on.
With all of this on their plate, plus in many instances still having to go to a job they actually get paid to do, you'd think moms don't have too much time to make jokes. Well, if you thought that, you're wrong!
Moms can seriously do it all. They are funny and they aren't afraid to share their humor and 'mom-isms' on social media.
Check out these 28 hilarious mom-tweets by some of the funniest mommas on the world wide web!
I understand everyone is upset about everything they’re missing out on while stay at home orders are in place, but we should really focus on the good we’re doing by keeping everything closed: there’s no elementary school spring recorder concerts to attend.— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) May 8, 2020
My kids are the reason I breathe; they’re also the reason I swear, cry, yell, and eat waaay more carbs than I probably should.— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) February 23, 2019
Me: I wish I could go back to a less stressful time— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) May 7, 2020
Husband: Like February?
Me: More like 8 years ago
7: Hey then you wouldn’t have any kids!!
Me: ᴵᵗ ʷᵃˢ ˢᵒ ᵖᵉᵃᶜᵉᶠᵘˡ
10: Mom what's a metaphor?— 🌴Sardonic Tart🌴 (@SardonicTart) December 12, 2014
Me: My life is a train wreck.
10: I know Mom, but what is a metaphor?
Like, what happens if I slip and have a glass of wine or two during this 9-month sobriety challenge?— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) August 2, 2019
Obstetrician: First of all, it's called "pregnancy."
What a parent’s bucket list looks like:— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) February 9, 2019
3. Drink hot coffee
2. Shower without kids banging on the door
1. Pee alone
Hearing a toddler say “uh oh” from a different room: cheaper than joining a gym and just as effective a workout— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) February 1, 2019
My 4yo just shut the bathroom door on me while I was inside and told me I was in jail. So I locked the door. I love this game.— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) February 1, 2014
My son just sang, “Boat’s n’ Hoe’s” to his elderly choir teacher on zoom so I think that about wraps up homeschool for today.— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) May 6, 2020
What I say to my son: "Get dressed."— Sarah del Rio (@sarahdelri0) February 3, 2015
His interpretation: "Stand around naked watching television with one sock on."
I had to cough but my kids were sleeping so I literally just choked on my own saliva because apparently I choose dying over accidentally waking them up.— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) February 10, 2019
Mom— Marloween (@Marlebean) September 16, 2014
What are you eating?
The kids are using up all of my mimosa juice. I hate it here.— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) March 30, 2020
Parenting Level: Approving my kids' friends based on which parents I think would drink wine with me during playdates.— Wendy S. (@maughammom) May 7, 2015
Our homeschool dismissal bell sounds less like a ding and more like me crying.— Jessie (@mommajessiec) May 7, 2020
Kids are just sober versions of drunk you - laughing, crying, then puking everywhere.— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) August 13, 2015
My 5-year-old just told me that turtles are slow because they carry their houses on their backs, and I feel like this is a solid analogy for parenthood.— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) February 27, 2019
I feel like I’d be a much better parent if I didn’t have to do it every day.— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) February 25, 2019
Asked to switch seats on the plane because I was sitting next to a crying baby. Apparently, that's not allowed if the baby is yours.— Ilana Wiles (@mommyshorts) February 12, 2014
I love to open my windows to let in the beautiful weather and so my neighbors can learn my kids' middle names.— Marloween (@Marlebean) May 6, 2020
In case you were wondering, the loudest sound in the world is my kid screaming, "Are you pooping?!?" in a public restroom.— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) March 19, 2016
3yo (in bathroom): Mummy, can I put this sticker on Daddy's card?— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) June 21, 2015
Me (in bed): Yes.
3yo: Will he love it?
Me: Yes. pic.twitter.com/TJepUORQwH
Gentlemen, Heads Up: Your kids aren’t coming home from school with that cute handmade Mother’s Day gift this year. That’s on you. Get out the glue.— Molly McNearney (@mollymcnearney) May 2, 2020
*Mary Poppins voice*— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) November 5, 2015
Ok, children! Time to go!
[15 min later]
I said let's go.
Me: *breathing*— Jessie (@mommajessiec) June 6, 2019
Tween daughter: God, Mom, quit embarrassing me!
*In church— Saucy Kensington (@Book_Krazy) September 14, 2014
9: [Whispers] Why do we have to keep sitting & standing and sitting & standing...
Me: [Whispers] So we don't fall asleep
5: Let’s play house, mommy. You be the baby. I’ll be the mommy.— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) January 2, 2019
5: It’s night-night time. Go to sleep, baby!
Me: *Kicks, screams, fusses*
5: This isn’t how the game goes, mommy. I’m the mommy, so you have to listen.
Me: Oh, honey, this is *exactly* how the game goes.
If you’re a mom and not rage cleaning your house so you can “relax” tomorrow, is it even the Saturday before Mother’s Day?— 🕷Marissa 🧟♀️🎃 (@michimama75) May 9, 2020