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Dad Lets His Family Get A Dog, But They Are Not Taking Care Of It, So Now He's Stuck Keeping Up With All The Responsibilities

Jesse
by Jesse
18 Feb 2023

Some families treat “getting a dog” like it’s a group project with a fun ending. This one did not. OP starts off by saying he never wanted the dog in the first place, but his family pushed for it anyway, and the puppy phase was all cute chaos.

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Fast forward, and the vibe flips. The dog needs daily care, and somehow that care stops being a family responsibility and becomes OP’s problem. He’s stuck feeding, managing, and cleaning up while the rest of the household drifts back into “not my turn” mode, and he’s done it.

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Then OP goes nuclear, not with yelling, but with an agreement they have to sign, turning the whole thing into a real-life decision: step up, rehome, or pay someone to handle it. Here’s where the family dinner turned into a dog fight.

OP starts off the post by explaining that he didn't want a dog, but his family did, so they got one.

OP starts off the post by explaining that he didn't want a dog, but his family did, so they got one.
Ancient-Move-8356
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He says that during the puppy stage, it was fine, but now things are changing, and they're no longer taking care of it.

He says that during the puppy stage, it was fine, but now things are changing, and they're no longer taking care of it.
Ancient-Move-8356

He said he's fed up with taking care of a dog he didn't want and didn't ask for.

He said he's fed up with taking care of a dog he didn't want and didn't ask for.
Ancient-Move-8356

The puppy stage was fine, but once the dog stopped being “new,” OP’s family quietly stopped doing their share.

The Burden of Responsibility in Pet Ownership

Owning a pet, particularly a dog, comes with substantial responsibilities that can lead to stress and frustration, especially when family dynamics are involved. Research from the American Veterinary Medical Association underscores that many pet owners experience anxiety related to pet care, particularly when others in the household do not share the load.

This discrepancy in responsibility can lead to feelings of resentment and burnout, which are well-documented in studies on shared family responsibilities.

He told his family that they needed to step up and take care of the dog and provided them with some options on how to do so.

He told his family that they needed to step up and take care of the dog and provided them with some options on how to do so.
Ancient-Move-8356

He mentioned that he brought up an agreement and made them sign it. Essentially, he said they could either take care of it, rehome the dog, or pay someone to care for it.

He mentioned that he brought up an agreement and made them sign it. Essentially, he said they could either take care of it, rehome the dog, or pay someone to care for it.
Ancient-Move-8356

However, his family obviously thinks that he's being too harsh, but let's see what the comments had to say.

However, his family obviously thinks that he's being too harsh, but let's see what the comments had to say.
Ancient-Move-8356

OP tells them to step up and gives them options, which is when the disagreement stops being passive and starts getting personal.

It’s a similar power play to a mother who made her family do nonstop dog tasks for 60 days.

When family members do not communicate about their roles in pet care, misunderstandings and conflicts can arise.

This comment starts off with an NTA vote and then explains that this is why they also never got a dog.

This comment starts off with an NTA vote and then explains that this is why they also never got a dog.
GreekAmericanDom

They even state that it wasn't necessarily an ultimatum, but that he's ensuring they understand the responsibility.

They even state that it wasn't necessarily an ultimatum, but that he's ensuring they understand the responsibility.
GreekAmericanDom

This person argues that it's better to rehome the dog to someone who will care for it rather than keeping it at home with a family that doesn't care for it.

This person argues that it's better to rehome the dog to someone who will care for it rather than keeping it at home with a family that doesn't care for it.
mdthomas

Instead of arguing in circles, OP makes them sign an agreement, forcing “who’s doing what” to become official.

The Psychological Impact of Family Dynamics

Family systems theory explains how individual roles within a family can influence behavior and emotional well-being.

I think it comes down to how the dog would be treated had the dad not stepped in and taken over the responsibility.

I think it comes down to how the dog would be treated had the dad not stepped in and taken over the responsibility.
GrumpyBearBank

Even with the ultimatum energy, the comments basically ask the same question, did OP’s family want a dog or a free babysitter?</p>

Obviously, everyone is voting NTA in this case because the dad is simply trying to return the responsibility to the family that wanted the dog. He's doing it in a fair way, and he expects his family to pick up the slack, which is reasonable.

What do you think about this whole situation? If the dad hadn't stepped up, who knows how the dog would feel.

To alleviate the burden of pet care, families might consider implementing a shared responsibility chart.

The narrative surrounding the dad struggling with his family's neglect of their new dog underscores critical themes of responsibility and family dynamics. The father's frustrations are palpable as he takes on the bulk of the pet care, revealing a breakdown in communication and shared expectations within the household.

This situation illustrates how vital it is for all family members to engage in discussions about responsibilities before bringing a pet into the home. Without these conversations, resentment can fester, leading to an unhealthy environment for both the pet and the family.

Creating a more collaborative approach to pet ownership could significantly improve the well-being of everyone involved, fostering a sense of shared responsibility and ensuring that the dog receives the care it deserves.

Now OP is stuck playing full-time dog dad, and the family has to live with the choice they made.

Still stuck walking a family dog someone else barely helps with, read how a Reddit user asked whether to stop: they debated ending the dog-walking duty.

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