Parents Share The Hilariously Ignorant Things Child-Free People Have Told Them

by Ayoub

Child-free people often have no idea what it's like to raise a kid or expect a kid, so they can sometimes say some pretty hilariously ignorant things to parents. The worst part is when they try to give you advice when you never really asked for it, and guess what, the advice is often equally as terrible as the random comments they might throw your way.

Reddit user u/Dosed123 asked the r/AskReddit community the following question: "Funniest things childfree people have told you about their idea of parenting?" and some of the replies they got are really hilarious and will also kind of make you lose faith in humanity.

1. When I was pregnant, I couldn't sleep well because every position was uncomfortable.

Well, my friend said, 'You probably can't wait to give birth so you can catch up on some sleep!'

1. When I was pregnant, I couldn't sleep well because every position was uncomfortable.

2. Was getting a passport for my 3-week-old daughter, and the worker said

I needed to sit her up on her own, then when I told him she couldn't, he stormed off to get a manager.

2. Was getting a passport for my 3-week-old daughter, and the worker said

3. When we were working on our baby registry, my husband couldn't understand the need for a stroller, saying:

'I'll just carry the babies.' What makes it even funnier is that we were having twins!

3. When we were working on our baby registry, my husband couldn't understand the need for a stroller, saying:

4. This one was from my ex who I should have know would be a terrible parent.

In the hospital, I just had a baby and was struggling to breast feed. I went to the washroom and when I came out my ex was feeding my newborn applesauce. FREAKING APPLESAUCE. She was only hours old and 4 weeks premature.

Also he told me that I needed to wait for my 5 month old to calm down and self sooth before I fed her her bottle because when a baby cries when they are hungry that’s how they manipulate the parents.

God I hate him.

4. This one was from my ex who I should have know would be a terrible parent.

5. I was working from home with a 6-month-old, and it was hard trying to have conference calls and entertain her at the same time.

Well, my husband said, 'Don't worry — it'll get easier when she's around 12 months old, when you can just sit her down for an hour or two with a coloring book.'

5. I was working from home with a 6-month-old, and it was hard trying to have conference calls and entertain her at the same time.

6. When I went on maternity leave with my third kid, my boss said, 'Enjoy your vacation.'

6. When I went on maternity leave with my third kid, my boss said, 'Enjoy your vacation.'

7. Once, my child-free friend asked me if my 18-month-old would sleep in the next morning because it was Saturday. I laughed so hard!

7. Once, my child-free friend asked me if my 18-month-old would sleep in the next morning because it was Saturday. I laughed so hard!

8. Recently, we were visiting our friends — who are child-free by choice — and they really love my kid.

When they heard my kid was into puzzles, they brought her a 1,000-piece one! She's 3 years old.

8. Recently, we were visiting our friends — who are child-free by choice — and they really love my kid.

9. When I was pregnant, one day I realized my baby hadn't moved as much as usual, so I told my friend I might need to go get checked.

She replied, 'Can't you just tell the baby to move with your mind?'

9. When I was pregnant, one day I realized my baby hadn't moved as much as usual, so I told my friend I might need to go get checked.

10. I foolishly thought I'd have all this free time during maternity leave...

... and I actually suggested to my husband that it would be the perfect time for us to get a puppy because I'd have time to train it!

10. I foolishly thought I'd have all this free time during maternity leave...

11. I was pregnant at the time and working in a kitchen.

My general manager caught me sitting down while prepping some potatoes for service and said "It must be nice to get to laze around whenever you want". It took all of my will to not say something snarky. He did get fired 3 weeks later for a non related incident. Karma is a b**ch.

11. I was pregnant at the time and working in a kitchen.

12. My favorite is always, 'Just sleep when the baby sleeps.'

12. My favorite is always, 'Just sleep when the baby sleeps.'

13. We took our baby to a wedding when she was 2 months old, and they had a place setting at the table for her — complete with a full set of metal cutlery and a highchair!

13. We took our baby to a wedding when she was 2 months old, and they had a place setting at the table for her — complete with a full set of metal cutlery and a highchair!

14. A thing I said before I had kids.

"I feel like parenting is easier than most people make it out to be." Said to my old boss with 2 kids. She laughed so hard she almost peed herself and then put that quote on her bulletin board to remind me when I had kids.

14. A thing I said before I had kids.

15. My sister visited once and scolded me for letting my children take our couch cushions off the couch to make a fort. That's the last thing I was worried about with three kids under 7 years old!

15. My sister visited once and scolded me for letting my children take our couch cushions off the couch to make a fort. That's the last thing I was worried about with three kids under 7 years old!

16. One of my relatives was always getting offended when she would call my baby to come to her and always get offended that the baby was ignoring her.

The baby was 10 months old, barely started walking at that point. I told my relative, "she barely knows that she is a person and has legs, she's not exactly choosing where she is stumbling to."

16. One of my relatives was always getting offended when she would call my baby to come to her and always get offended that the baby was ignoring her.

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