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Parents Tweet Seriously Weird, Funny and Relatable Things Their Kids Have Done

by Ariana

If you've got kids you know they can be super annoying, an absolute handful and have the ability to suck the fun and enjoyment out of just about ANYTHING.... but they can also be awesome!

Some of the hardest times I've laughed have been because of things my daughter has said. She is 4 and she is probably the funniest person I know. PERIOD.

Below are parents tweeting the funny, weird and down-right relatable things their kids have both said and done. If you've got kids, this will all make total sense...

If you don't have kids... you'll be confused. If you're TRYING to have kids, this may make you re-think everything.

THIS IS FACT.

My kids at 7:00 am on a school day: zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

My kids at 5:00 am on a Saturday: GET MY FLUTE WE ARE TAKING THIS PARTY TO THE NEXT LEVEL WHERE IS MY FUCKING FLUTE DAD

— clean slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) December 7, 2019

"please don't lick her!"

[parents on the phone]

It's going ok PLEASE DON'T LICK HER idk if we'll be able to WHO SPILLED WATER ALL OVER THE FLOOR go eat lunch with you GET OFF THE TABLE i'll txt you later OMG IS THIS POOP?! bye.

— Marcy G 🍕 (@BunAndLeggings) November 12, 2019

"I'd like some pancakes."

Daughter: Daddy, can I have breakfast?

Me: *puts up hand* Talk to the hand.

Daughter: *into my hand like she’s ordering at a drive thru* I’d like some pancakes.

— Prime Nate (@GorillaNipples1) August 24, 2019

Well... come to think of it... yes.

Me: What's the first rule of cooking?

4: Don't put your hands in your butt.

Me:

4:

Me: Correct.

— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) November 13, 2019

Yet here we are.

None of the parenting books tell you that your 2 year old will name her feet Tommy (R) and Omar (L), yet here we are.

— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) November 20, 2019

"Life after Lice" is my favourite.

Parenting books there should be:

-Life After Lice
-There’s a Turd in the Tub, Now What
-This is the Day You Remember the Grocery List
-How to Read Your Teen’s Emojis
-Finding Inner Peace and Your Child’s Shoes
-How to Start a Successful Carpool

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 16, 2019

She had no clue.

the best thing about babies is they have no idea what’s going on. i was holding my baby and trying to eat but i dropped a little piece of lasagna on her and didn’t have a free hand to wipe it off so i just leaned over and ate it off her head. she has no clue what i did

— dj pop a titty out (@cuntyspice_) December 17, 2019

Best version.

my daughters version of trick or treating was asking every single person if they had a puppy she could pet and then sitting on each porch for five minutes petting their dogs and honestly it’s a good version

— stay at home nerd (@alovablenerd) November 1, 2019

Well.. I can think of one reason why.

[texting son]

17: my gf wants sanitary napkins in pink packaging, I can't find them

M: send a pic, I'll help

17: pic.twitter.com/DqnJ2jVRTc

— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 (@3sunzzz) January 14, 2020

This is so true.

my 4 yo can run his tablet like he's a mini Bill Gates

when i was 4 i was literally outside eating ants.

— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) January 16, 2020

Tiny dictator.

My 2 y.o. talks a lot of shit for someone who can literally be picked up and placed wherever we need him to be.

— Tired Dad of 2 (@Tired_Dad_of_2) September 17, 2019

Sleep well!

I asked my 5yo to spit out his gum before bed. He said it wasn't gum.

"What is it?"

"Toenails!"

Goodnight folks. Sleep well.

— Articulate_indy (@Articulate_indy) January 16, 2020

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