Friends, this is the story of Melissa, a social media influencer who tried to use her, er influence, to secure an absurdly uneven deal from Betrothed & Co, a company specialising in wedding photography and videography. Betrothed & Co saw the needle on the Mooch-o-Meter twitching violently in the red zone, and they treated Melissa's request with the tongue-in-cheek contempt it deserved, as you will see from the exchanges shown below.

Having this legion of followers in the social media world appears to come with a voluminous dose of entitlement.

Trying to get something for free, or at least at an obscenely reduced cost, is not a new phenomenon. Pleistocene man no doubt tried to get away with trading one small blunt rock in exchange for two rocks honed to a sharpened point, instead of proffering the two larger rocks originally sought by his fellow trader. Hell, many years ago I tried to sell my old water bed for $200.00, and one of the other secretaries with whom I worked offered me $150.00.

I told her not to insult me and go away; she was the type of person who, when faced with a coin-operated toilet, would run around behind it and squat on the grass. But these some of these influencers seem to be a special breed, and occasionally are brought down by their own hubris, as was the case with Melissa. There's a saying, all you influencers out there: quid pro quo. Look it up, and apply it's tenet when you next feel like indulging in some avaricious me-me-me-ing.

Melissa demonstates how to write a greedy request

Frankie from Betrothed & Co demonstrates how to respond with tongue firmly embedded in cheek

The cheek was definitely bulging here

Frankie was winding up for the final blow...

And - BOOM! - mike dropped to the floor with reverberating effects

Melissa doesn't 'get it', nor does she understand when to use an auxilliary verb instead of a preposition

She still doesn't get what a preposition is used for, but hopes playing the manipulative cancer card might help

Frankie overlooks her woeful grammar, but offers a grounding perspective on what constitutes a celebrity

He further points out the potential offence caused by use of her term 'gyp'

Points out he KNOWS how it feels to have a cancer-stricken loved one...

He delivers another knock-out blow, dumps the victim in the horse trough to bring her round, and then knocks her out again!

What Do We Learn?

If you want a discounted service, don't act like an illiterate, pampered gorgon in order to obtain it. Stop and think for a second, and remember the old adage: quid pro quo.