Money is often a touchy subject within relationships. It is unlikely that two people are ever making the exact same amount of money, and it can make splitting expenses and paying for things a challenge.
Money in relationships can also be difficult people different people have different relationships with money itself. This often stems from how a person is raised as people who were raised wealthy tend to have a different experience with it and how it just never seems to run out!
But, regardless of your or your partner's relationship to money, you should, at least, be showing some basic human emotions and noticing how they are doing. Which brings us to the judgement zone: the Am I The Asshole thread on Reddit.
The account has since been deleted which is a pretty good way to get a gauge of how it is going!
Hello. My girlfriend, myself, my parents, and my brother and his wife all went on vacation in another country a week ago. My brother and I were the ones who did most of the planning of the itinerary although we did ask everyone else for input. For background, I make around $150,000k as an IT consultant, my girlfriend is a teacher making $45,000k. My parents are pretty affluent as well as my brother and sister in law.
My girlfriend knew this trip was coming up and took on a second job waitressing on the weekends for several months to get ready for it. We have always split things 50/50 in the 2 years we have been together. There were a few times on the vacation when she did not go on outings with us- wine tasting/scuba diving/etc. She also would only eat 2 meals a day, simply stating that she was on a budget. My family does favor more high-end (*expensive*) places. My parents thought it was very strange that she only eats 2 meals a day although normally she eats 3.
When we got home I asked her why she skipped out on several of the outings and only ate 2 meals a day- I mentioned how I heard her stomach growling one night and said I was concerned about her having an eating disorder. She got teary eyed and said that 3 meals a day wasn't fiscally feasible for her and neither were the outings that she chose not to go on (she went on 3 of 6 outings). She said she was not expecting everything to cost so much and she was overwhelmed.
She also said she doesn't know if this is going to work long term if she is expected to go on vacations like that with people who make so much more than her. I feel bad that I did not pick up on her discomfort sooner. But we did agree to split everything 50/50 and I don't know why she agreed to come if the cost was an issue.
Sound off in the comments!
Find the full thread on Reddit if you're interested.