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Fed-Up Redditor Decided To Teach Friend's Dog Some Manners, Gets Accused Of Breaking The Dog's Spirit And Changing His Personality

Damjan
by Damjan
14 Aug 2023

A 28-year-old woman trained her friend’s dog for a few days, and somehow it turned into a full-blown accusation that she “broke his spirit.” The dog in question is not exactly living the dream, he eats whenever he wants, food is left out all the time, and he also has food allergies that make the whole setup even more fragile.

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OP stepped in while the friend was away, using a basic daily routine and simple commands to get the dog on track. It worked, at least at first, because the clever little chaos gremlin started catching on. Then the friend came home a couple weeks later, looked at the new routine, and decided the dog’s personality had been changed.

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Now OP is stuck wondering if she was actually helping, or if she somehow became the villain in someone else’s dog drama.

Here's the story's headline

Here's the story's headline
Reddit/throwaway764gh78
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The dog has no routine, eats when he wants, and they just leave food out all the time; plus, OP's dog has food allergies.

The dog has no routine, eats when he wants, and they just leave food out all the time; plus, OP's dog has food allergies.
Reddit/throwaway764gh78

The friend's dog is a clever little devil, and after a tricky few days, he started to get the hang of things.

The friend's dog is a clever little devil, and after a tricky few days, he started to get the hang of things.
Reddit/throwaway764gh78

That’s when the “no routine, food everywhere” setup collides with OP’s tighter schedule and the dog’s allergy needs.

Training a dog is not just about instilling obedience; it requires a nuanced understanding of the delicate relationship between humans and their canine companions. In the case of the Redditor who took it upon themselves to teach a friend's dog some manners, the backlash underscores a common misconception. Many believe that introducing new training routines equates to altering a dog's inherent personality. This can lead to confusion and anxiety for the dog, as the animal may perceive these changes as a threat to its established identity. Thus, it is crucial to approach the training process with empathy and an awareness of the dog's emotional landscape, ensuring that the experience is positive rather than distressing.

OP's friend has now been home for a couple of weeks, and she is upset because OP has “broken his spirit.”

OP's friend has now been home for a couple of weeks, and she is upset because OP has “broken his spirit.”
Reddit/throwaway764gh78

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

I trained my friend’s dog while I was looking after him—some basic commands and a daily routine. She says I have broken his spirit and changed his personality. AITA?

OP's friend is a neglectful dog owner and is probably having conflict with her dog.

OP's friend is a neglectful dog owner and is probably having conflict with her dog.
Reddit/throwaway764gh78

Adults call it parenting, and this Redditor says it's necessary.

Adults call it parenting, and this Redditor says it's necessary.
Reddit/throwaway764gh78

After a tricky few days, the dog finally started to get the hang of commands, which is exactly what set the friend off later.

Studies on animal behavior reveal that dogs thrive on consistency and positive reinforcement.

This also mirrors the Redditor who admitted they were disgusted by their friend’s dog breed.

The OP is not obligated to put up with an untrained dog in her home.

The OP is not obligated to put up with an untrained dog in her home.
Reddit/throwaway764gh78

This Redditor feels like the OP did the friend a service.

This Redditor feels like the OP did the friend a service.
Reddit/throwaway764gh78

Telling the friend that they wouldn't be dog-sitting for them in the future.

Telling the friend that they wouldn't be dog-sitting for them in the future.
Reddit/throwaway764gh78

When the friend says OP changed his personality and “broke his spirit,” it sounds less like training went wrong and more like the old chaos got challenged.

Training a dog transcends mere obedience; it is fundamentally about developing a relationship grounded in trust and understanding. In the scenario outlined in the article, the Redditor’s attempt to teach their friend's dog basic manners highlights the importance of this bond. The community's backlash, accusing the Redditor of breaking the dog's spirit, underscores a common misconception about training. The narrative reveals that effective training methods, particularly those rooted in positive reinforcement, can significantly improve a dog's behavior while simultaneously strengthening the emotional connection between the pet and its owner. This mutual understanding and respect not only enhances the dog's demeanor but also enriches the owner's experience, ensuring that both can enjoy their time together without embarrassment or conflict.

OP's friend's version of happy is just constant neuroticism.

OP's friend's version of happy is just constant neuroticism.
Reddit/throwaway764gh78

Expecting the OP to put up with those behaviors is unreasonable.

Expecting the OP to put up with those behaviors is unreasonable.
Reddit/throwaway764gh78

It sounds like the dog made a well-behaved boy.

It sounds like the dog made a well-behaved boy.
Reddit/throwaway764gh78

OP’s decision to stop dog-sitting for this friend adds gasoline to the argument, because now it’s not just about the dog anymore.

Practical strategies for effective dog training include the gradual introduction of new commands and ensuring the training environment is calm and positive.

Establishing short, consistent training sessions can reduce stress for both the dog and the owner.

Additionally, incorporating play and rewards can create a more engaging and less intimidating learning experience.

When you teach them, you can use it when you're out and about.

When you teach them, you can use it when you're out and about.
Reddit/throwaway764gh78

A puppy needs to begin learning at a very young age, much like we teach our kids fundamental etiquette from the beginning. A puppy's brain must process a vast amount of information, so its little brain has a lot to learn about the world and how to act in it.

The OP only taught the dog some manners, and many Redditors say that it's a good thing. The OP was declared, not the AH.

Understanding the emotional dynamics in dog training plays a vital role in fostering a positive relationship between owners and their pets. In the context of teaching a friend's dog some manners, the Redditor's intentions highlight the importance of building trust rather than merely enforcing obedience. The backlash faced, with accusations of breaking the dog's spirit, underscores a common misconception that training alters a dog's fundamental personality. In reality, a compassionate approach to training can enhance the bond between the dog and its owner, allowing both to thrive together and enjoy their companionship more fully.

Nobody wants to be blamed for fixing a dog’s schedule, especially when the food was being left out in the first place.

For more pet-management chaos, see how a girlfriend reacted when a man paid for twelve-hour dog watching.

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