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Woman Wants To Let Her Mom Know She Can't Look After Her Untrained Dog Anymore, Seeks A Second Opinion

Maryjane
by Maryjane
15 Aug 2023

A 28-year-old woman is stuck in the middle of a favor chain, and it’s about a dog that will not stop barking. Her mom helps out with her son one day a week, which is already a big deal, but there’s a catch: the untrained dog loses its mind every time it hears a noise, and it never really settles.

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So every time the house goes quiet, the barking starts again, dragging through OP’s work-from-home day and raising fears that the neighbors will complain. And now OP wants to tell her mom she can’t keep watching the dog anymore, even though her mom’s been showing up for her and her kid.

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The messy part is that OP doesn’t want to sound ungrateful, she just wants peace in her own home.

Here's the story's headline

Here's the story's headline
Reddit/RadicalTherapy
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OP's mum helps out with her son a lot as she looks after him one day a week

OP's mum helps out with her son a lot as she looks after him one day a week
Reddit/RadicalTherapy

The dog would bark continuously every time she heard a noise and doesn’t stop

The dog would bark continuously every time she heard a noise and doesn’t stop
Reddit/RadicalTherapy

That one day a week her mom normally helps with the son is exactly when the barking turns OP’s routine into chaos.

Research emphasizes that boundaries are not about shutting people out, but rather about protecting our own emotional resources and energy.

In this case, the woman is recognizing her limits, which is a vital step toward self-care.

Research supports the idea that when individuals acknowledge their capacity to manage responsibilities, they can maintain healthier relationships overall.

OP wants to tell her that she can’t look after the dog anymore, especially since she helps her and her kid

OP wants to tell her that she can’t look after the dog anymore, especially since she helps her and her kid
Reddit/RadicalTherapy

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

I worry that I might be the asshole because I can’t look after my mum’s dog anymore, even when she helps me out so much with my little one.

The dog is distracting the OP from work and she fears the neighbors will hear it

The dog is distracting the OP from work and she fears the neighbors will hear it
Reddit/RadicalTherapy

Throwing in a mention about her being worried about having a dog in her home

Throwing in a mention about her being worried about having a dog in her home
Reddit/RadicalTherapy

The second OP hears another noise trigger the dog, it’s not just annoying, it’s also distracting her from work.

Psychologists specializing in family dynamics suggest that open communication is essential when addressing issues related to caregiving responsibilities.

The same boundary tension shows up when a Redditor refuses to get a dog for their disabled mother.

Redditor refuses to get a dog for disabled mother living in their home

This Redditor would understand it if the dog was trained

This Redditor would understand it if the dog was trained
Reddit/RadicalTherapy

This Redditor hopes the OP's mom would be understanding about the whole thing

This Redditor hopes the OP's mom would be understanding about the whole thing
Reddit/RadicalTherapy

This is not an issue about the OP being selfish but the dog causing problems

This is not an issue about the OP being selfish but the dog causing problems
Reddit/RadicalTherapy

OP keeps worrying the neighbors will hear it, while also stressing about how to bring up the dog issue without sounding like a jerk.

Psychological Impacts of Caregiving Stress

Research indicates that caregiving can lead to significant emotional and physical strain, often referred to as caregiver burnout.

Understanding that these feelings are common can help the woman feel validated and supported in her decision to step back from her duties.

It would be easier on the OP if her mom didn't burden her with the dog

It would be easier on the OP if her mom didn't burden her with the dog
Reddit/RadicalTherapy

The OP wouldn't benefit from her work-from-home day

The OP wouldn't benefit from her work-from-home day
Reddit/RadicalTherapy

Has the OP brought up training classes to her mom?

Has the OP brought up training classes to her mom?
Reddit/RadicalTherapy

The whole conflict boils down to whether OP can set a boundary about the untrained dog while still accepting the help her mom gives her kid.

One practical approach to managing the stress of caregiving is utilizing mindfulness techniques, which have been shown to reduce anxiety and improve emotional regulation.

Incorporating brief mindfulness exercises into her daily routine may help the woman recharge emotionally while navigating this challenging situation.

Some dog owners make the error of delaying dog training because they believe they can adequately manage their dog's behavior as time goes on. This is a mistake, though, as delaying it would put their dog in more danger.

Redditors have given the OP their own pieces of advice, and you too can drop yours in the comments section below. Don't forget to share this post with your family and friends as well.

Emotional self-care is often overlooked but is crucial for anyone in a caregiving role.

Engaging in activities that promote personal joy and relaxation can replenish energy levels, making it easier to support loved ones.

In navigating the complexities of caregiving, it becomes crucial to acknowledge the importance of personal well-being.

Nobody wants to work through nonstop barking, especially when you’re already grateful for the babysitting help.

Before you feel guilty, read how one person handled, "I never wanted that dog" with an untrained puppy.

Should I put my plans aside to help mom with an untrained puppy?

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