40+ Worst Baby Names That Were About To Be Given By Parents To Their Newborns Before The Nurses And Midwives Talked Them Out Of It

What were these parents thinking?

May

• Published in Funny
• November 19, 2021

A lot of new parents find naming their newborn babies. Although most of them already know what they will register for their bundle of joy, others will still struggle because they still want to come up with something unique.

The task can be daunting if you look at the statistics and find out that 250 are born around the world every minute. And that amounts to 130 million babies a year.

With an effort to make their children's names unique, some parents are just going too far. We're talking about names that can possibly be troublesome for the little ones as they grow up.

A Reddit user tried to find out by asking this to the community:

"Nurses and midwives of Reddit, have you ever tried to talk new parents out of a baby name? What was it?"

As expected, there were tons of answers on the thread. If you're a soon-to-be parent, don't even think about altering the spelling of let's say Collin to Colon just so your child's name can be unique.

It is a fact that choosing a name for children is a nerve-wracking affair because they will carry those names throughout their entire existence. All the more reason why parents should choose wisely.

For now, let's take a look at the unfortunate names that were about to befall the poor little ones. Thank goodness the nurses and midwives were there!

1. Latrine

The mother's name is Trina. She and her husband decided they'll go for Latrine as the baby's name.

Fortunately, a concerned coworker explained that it meant a ground hole where soldiers pass a movement. Horrified, the couple ultimately decided to change it to Katrina.

Still, something unfortunate happened. Two days after the baby's birth, Hurricane Katrina wreaked havoc in New Orleans.

2. Death

Goth parents are taking it too far. They wanted to name the adorable baby girl Death.

I could not stand for it. So I told them every time I went to type it into birth certificate it changed the form to a death certificate

Luckily the couple were convinced. However, the girl's name ultimately became Morticia.

3. Vagina

Thank goodness for the grandmother. The parents were about to name this girl Vagina because they don't know how to spell Virginia.

4. Truck

The couple would have divorced if the father finalized the name Truck for his little boy. Today, they are still married and none of their children are named after the vehicle.

5. X Æ A-12

It's Elon Musk's son's name! He had to change it in the end, though.

6. Monster Galileo

If Monster was part of that kid's name, he'd have a rough childhood. Thankfully, it's just "Galileo" in the end.

7. Colon

The parents wanted a name that sounded like Collin. But there's a twist!

They initially wanted to spell it as C-O-L-O-N. The nurse explained that it's the organ connected to the anus.

The couple was very embarrassed. Finally, they decided to stick to the original spelling.

8. Chardonnay

Long story short, a pregnant teenager wanted to name her daughter Chardonnay. But an angry old midwife heard it wrong.

The old lady forced the Reddit user to go on the internet and search for Chanterelle. Then they showed the results to the teen.

The pregnant mother was shocked at seeing ugly mushrooms. Ultimately, the teenager decided to use Chardonnay as her daughter's middle name.

9. Tangerine

A woman's ex-husband wanted to name their children Pestilence, Plague, or War. He didn't think it was fair that only girls get to be named Hope or Grace.

His first choice was Tangerine if it were a baby girl. Luckily, the ex-couple never had children.

10. Ski (pronounced as Sky)

A user narrates that he was supposed to be named by his dad Sky. But he wanted to replace 'y' with 'i.'

His mom thought otherwise. So ultimately, he's Sky.

11. Linoleum

A teacher tells that they had once a student named Linoleum. It seems that the nurse got it all wrong on this child.

12. Vzyiion

Sadly, this kid's mom was high on meth. She told the medical staff that the child's name is Zion.

But when she filled out the papers, it was Vzyiion. She looked at the staff with dead eyes, explaining that the V is silent.

The kid also had five middle names. She justified that she doesn't know who the father is, so she put them all in the poor baby's name.

13. Adolph Hitler

Who would name their child this? The parents also claimed that they were not Nazis.

14. Killer, Syphilis, and Sweet Prayer Sunrise

A registrar was shocked at the birth certificates. These were the registered names of people.

15. Red and Blue

Twins were delivered by a student midwife. Their names are Red and Blue.

16. Mudpiles

A med student had a patient who was a new mother. If it weren't for the protesting nurses, the mom would have named the child Mudpiles.

17. Acock Ring

A teacher has an African, elementary-age student whose name doesn't translate to American English well. The child's name is Acock Ring.

18. Raider God

The husband wanted to name his daughter Raider God. Thankfully, they decided on Jada.

19. Jkmno

A concerned Reddit user talked to his friend. Had he not done this, the daughter would have been named Jkmno.

20. Draven Tyrion Dexter Zaraphil Johnson and Andromeda Nymphadora Jane Zaraphil Johnson

A grandma was upset that her daughter named her grandchildren Andromeda Nymphadora Jane Zaraphil Johnson and Draven Tyrion Dexter Zaraphil Johnson. But is still relieved that she talked the name Lucifer out.

21. Jamuary, Qwest, Sixte, She'Bra, Battle, ShyAnn, and Alivia

A music store employee has a list of the weirdest names of their students. He thinks that the best one is Alivia.

When speaking with the grandmother she said that the mom wanted to name her Olivia but the father hated the name. Dad saw a bottle of Aleve on the counter so he and the mother compromised and came up with Alivia.

22. Miconium

When the mom heard meconium from the nurse, the mother was overjoyed. It was such a beautiful name for her baby.

23. Meganathan

A Reddit user had a classmate named Meganathan. Until now, this user why Nathan wasn't enough.

24. Tarmac

After hearing the word Tarmac for NASCAR, someone wanted it as their child's name. Then their friend talked them out of it.

25. Vagina (another case)

Someone who previously worked in labor in delivery has something to tell. There was a very experienced nurse who had to persuade two people against naming their child Vagina.

26. Happiness, Joy, Loveness, Goodluck, Leadership, Sunshine, Shoes

According to someone who traveled to Africa, the names of the children are based on the qualities that parents wanted for their youngsters. The Reddit user's favorite name was Shoes.

27. Covid Bryant

Because of the pandemic, this happened. Look it up and you'll see that not one, but two babies were named after the disease.

28. Fallopia

There was a girl named Fallopia. Imagine what she had to go through when the class discussed Fallopian tubes in class.

29. Corn Peas

A brother of this Reddit user wanted to give the name Corn Peas to their younger brother. The parents almost agreed to it because they felt bad about saying no to his input.

Luckily, they got it. Then went with something else.

30. Kirby

A Reddit user was so close to being named after a vacuum cleaner named Kirby by his mother. His dad was against it.

31. Ichabod Rusty

Ichabod Rusty was supposed to be the name given by a mother. She was even happy about it.

But her husband refused. They decided on something more suitable

32. Yanique

This is a name of a girl, which is pronounced as "unique." A Reddit user says she's truly lives up to the name.

33. Cinderall

A Reddit user was supposed to be named Cinderall. She had no idea what his dad was smoking at the time.

34. Mileage

A designer shared that they were commissioned to design birthday cards for a child named Mileage. My-leige is how you pronounce it.

35. Famous

There's a guy in a class. His name's Famous.

36. Eggbert

A girlfriend was so glad her boyfriend wasn't named Eggbert. Otherwise, he would have to be called Egg.

37. PMS

A woman's initials almost became PMS. Thank goodness the first name and middle name were swapped.

38. Imunique

Someone has a coworker named Imunique. This Reddit user thinks that the midwives or nurses were not part of the person's naming.

39. Nawja and Cinnamon

This Reddit user felt sorry for two youths who were named Nawja (as in nausea) and Cinnamon. Both required mental health support.

40. Jager

Two stories from a Reddit user. Her ex wanted to name her son Jager (pronunciations can be Yager or Jagger) or Shotenjäger, then she said no.

So if you're among the parents who struggle to find names for children, always go for appropriate ones.

Some kids can have it rough during their childhood if their names are unusual and can be associated with something not pleasant. It's always a priority to think about the future when it comes to naming children.

Make sure that your child can peacefully socialize when you name them something unique. Certainly, they don't want to be judged because of their name or get unwanted attention.

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