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Mom Finally Proves Her Daughter Has Severe Dog Allergies After Years Of Being Gaslit, Accused Of Hating Dogs, And Losing Custody Of Her Daughter

Tom
by Tom
16 May 2023

Redditors rallied behind a mom who was made to feel crazy because she believed her daughter had a severe dog allergy. OP's daughter, Clare, has been ill since birth.

OP noted that most of her daughter's symptoms could be caused by an unknown allergy. They consulted every specialist and finally went to an allergist after getting no definitive diagnosis.

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The allergist concluded that Clare was allergic to mold and a certain type of weed. They tested for mold every time they moved to a new place, but her daughter's symptoms did not go away.

OP floated the idea that Clare could be allergic to dogs. The response was a deafening jeer that OP must be crazy.

Clare couldn't possibly be allergic to dogs, they all declared. OP must be a dog hater for suggesting such a ludicrous possibility!

Meanwhile, Clare was in and out of hospitals because of her endless symptoms. Doctors tested her for anything they could think of, but they never doubted the original allergens blamed for her illness.

OP was accused of making her daughter sick. Clare was removed from her custody and was put given to a foster family.

Her symptoms didn't go away at the foster home because they also had a dog. OP regained custody of her daughter.

Clare was back to her routine hospital visits until one doctor listened to OP's ideas

Clare was back to her routine hospital visits until one doctor listened to OP's ideas
u/Life-Okra
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Clare was given another allergy test. Lo and behold, Clare is severely allergic to dogs.

Clare was given another allergy test. Lo and behold, Clare is severely allergic to dogs.
u/Life-Okra

All their troubles — Clare ending up in a foster home, years of sickness, and OP being falsely told that she has Munchausen by Proxy, could have been prevented if they took OP's observations seriously

All their troubles — Clare ending up in a foster home, years of sickness, and OP being falsely told that she has Munchausen by Proxy, could have been prevented if they took OP's observations seriously
u/Life-Okra

The Impact of Gaslighting on Parent-Child Relationships

Dr. Jennifer Hall, a child psychologist, explains that gaslighting can severely affect a child's sense of reality and self-worth.

Research shows that children subjected to gaslighting may develop trust issues and emotional dysregulation, impacting their overall mental health.

This situation illustrates the long-term consequences of undermining a parent's perceptions and feelings.

The Effects of Gaslighting on Family Dynamics

This scenario illustrates the damaging effects of gaslighting, particularly in familial relationships. Research indicates that gaslighting can lead to significant emotional distress and confusion for the victim. According to Dr. Stephanie Sarkis, a psychotherapist specializing in trauma, victims of gaslighting may struggle with self-doubt and a distorted sense of reality, impacting their ability to trust their feelings and perceptions.

Understanding the dynamics of gaslighting is crucial for those seeking to break free from its effects.

OP took Clare to a rental home and within a week in a dog-free home all of her symptoms disappear.

Clare asked if most people were able to breathe that deeply. OP was heartbroken for her daughter who took her first deep breath at 6 years old.

They gave up their dog and will soon buy a new home. However, OP wants her husband and their family to apologize to her for calling her crazy all those years and making her feel like she was a dog hater.

OP took Clare to a rental home and within a week in a dog-free home all of her symptoms disappear.
u/Life-Okra
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If your significant other or family thought you capable of doing such a terrible thing to your own child, is an apology years later enough?

If your significant other or family thought you capable of doing such a terrible thing to your own child, is an apology years later enough?
radradraddest

Maybe all the other possible allergens have been eliminated?

Maybe all the other possible allergens have been eliminated?
Koumadin

A study from the Journal of Child Psychology found that children who experience gaslighting often struggle with anxiety and depression later in life.

This highlights the importance of recognizing and validating children's experiences to promote healthy emotional development.

Parents must be aware of their influence on their children's perceptions of reality.

Studies in trauma psychology emphasize the importance of validation and support in healing from gaslighting experiences. According to a study published in the Journal of Trauma Psychology, individuals who receive validation from trusted sources are more likely to regain confidence in their perceptions and feelings. Creating a supportive environment can empower victims to reclaim their narrative and rebuild their self-esteem.

This process often requires patience and understanding from family members.

OP's instincts allerted her to Clare potentially having dog allergies

OP's instincts allerted her to Clare potentially having dog allergies
Life-Okra
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Someone asked OP what happened to their dog after her suspicions were confirmed

Someone asked OP what happened to their dog after her suspicions were confirmed
Fisceral

Can you really blame a mom who was gaslit for years for not bothering to learn about where the dog was rehomed?

Can you really blame a mom who was gaslit for years for not bothering to learn about where the dog was rehomed?
Life-Okra

Creating a Safe Space for Children

Experts recommend fostering open communication to help children express their feelings without fear of invalidation.

Encouraging children to share their thoughts and emotions can promote resilience and emotional health.

This approach can help counteract any negative effects of past experiences.

The Role of Support Networks in Healing

Building a strong support network is essential for individuals recovering from gaslighting experiences. Research shows that individuals who engage with supportive friends and family members report higher resilience and better emotional outcomes. According to Dr. Brené Brown, a leading researcher on vulnerability, social support plays a critical role in healing from emotional trauma.

Encouraging open discussions about experiences and feelings can foster a sense of belonging and connection, which is crucial for recovery.

A Redditor advised OP to go to a lawyer. They have a good chance of winning a case against the allergist who allegedly falsified the original results.

A Redditor advised OP to go to a lawyer. They have a good chance of winning a case against the allergist who allegedly falsified the original results.
Jpmjpm
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Good on OP for not backing down even when her own husband called her crazy and a dog hater

Good on OP for not backing down even when her own husband called her crazy and a dog hater
yoga1313

Why was it so bad for OP to suggest that her daughter could have dog allergies? Medical fact is not changed by people's affinity for animals.

Why was it so bad for OP to suggest that her daughter could have dog allergies? Medical fact is not changed by people's affinity for animals.
justadorkygirl

Therapists advise parents to seek external support if they feel overwhelmed by their child's emotional needs.

Joining parenting groups or seeking therapy can provide valuable resources and perspectives.

This support network can enhance a parent's ability to validate their child's feelings and experiences.

To support individuals recovering from gaslighting, families should prioritize creating safe spaces for open dialogue. Encouraging conversations about emotions and experiences can help victims feel validated and understood. Additionally, seeking guidance from mental health professionals can provide families with the tools they need to support their loved ones effectively.

Ultimately, fostering an environment of empathy and understanding can significantly enhance the healing process.

The accusations were so severe that OP actually lost custody of her daughter. How heartbreaking is that?

The accusations were so severe that OP actually lost custody of her daughter. How heartbreaking is that?
NobodyakaGina

Calling OP names and making her question her sanity was counterproductive to finding out what was wrong with Clare's health.

Calling OP names and making her question her sanity was counterproductive to finding out what was wrong with Clare's health.
NobodyakaGina

OP's determination to find out what was wrong with her daughter is admirable. She advocated for her even when it seemed that everyone was against her.

Reading OP's post was frustrating, especially when people were more concerned about finding out if OP hates dogs. She spent years being told she was crazy.

Is it so difficult to show her some grace and understand why her focus was solely on her daughter?

Expert Opinion

This situation illustrates the profound impact of gaslighting on family dynamics and individual well-being. The struggle for validation can leave lasting emotional scars. Prioritizing open communication and support can help victims navigate their recovery journey more effectively.

Expert
Dr Aaron Mills
Psychologist

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In summary, navigating the aftermath of gaslighting requires understanding, validation, and support. Research consistently shows that emotional validation is crucial for individuals recovering from such experiences.

As noted in trauma psychology literature, 'Creating supportive environments fosters healing and empowers individuals to reclaim their sense of self.'

Expert Opinion

This scenario exemplifies the profound impact of gaslighting on a child's emotional and psychological development.

Recognizing the signs and taking steps to validate a child's feelings is essential for fostering resilience.

Expert
Dr Emily Carter
Psychologist

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Addressing the effects of gaslighting is crucial for healthy parent-child dynamics.

As noted by psychological research, 'Validation and support are essential for a child's emotional well-being.'

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