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Redditors Support Man As He Shares Why He Refuses To Train A Dog Owned By His Nonchalant Inlaws

Maryjane
by Maryjane
9 Nov 2025

Is training a dog an easy process? It might be but the project can be challenging at times.

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This is how some people make mistakes. They concentrate too much on the dog training project, the tasks at hand, and the final result.

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They either lose sight of or never fully understand the dog training process. We can educate our dogs to perform any bodily action on demand.

Lie down with your head resting on your front paws and your hips relaxed - All of those can be trained. They can even learn to breathe more slowly, proceed to a different room, or even wait in silence.

Positive reinforcement training can also be used to teach those. Humans with average intelligence and education can easily learn the genuine science of dog training, and the OP of today's story understood this.

The OP is a dog trainer and mainly works with reactive/aggressive dogs. His in-laws have two Bichons, who are both poorly trained and dog-aggressive.

They got a Presa Canario puppy, Mia, and the OP was horrified, as Presas are not beginner dogs. They are extremely powerful with a high prey drive, and often dog- and human-aggressive.

The OP was asked to train the dog, and he obliged, but his in-laws weren't making it any easier for him. Read the full story below to find out everything that transpired.

The OP is asking...

The OP is asking...
Reddit
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One of OP's dogs is a Presa cross, and her training is basically a full-time job in itself

One of OP's dogs is a Presa cross, and her training is basically a full-time job in itself
Reddit
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They decided it would be cool to leave the dogs alone with the kids and a 14-year-old babysitter

They decided it would be cool to leave the dogs alone with the kids and a 14-year-old babysitter
Reddit

The Importance of Consistent Training

Dr. Ian Dunbar, a renowned animal behaviorist, emphasizes that consistent training is crucial for effective dog ownership. He notes that without a structured approach, dogs can develop problematic behaviors, making training much more difficult.

In his book, "Before and After Getting Your Puppy," he advocates for positive reinforcement methods that foster a loving relationship between the dog and its owner. This approach not only enhances the training experience but also strengthens the bond between them.

Building a Supportive Training Environment

To foster a positive training atmosphere, experts recommend creating a nurturing space where dogs can feel safe. Dr. Brian Hare, a leading evolutionary anthropologist, explains that a calm environment can significantly reduce anxiety in dogs, making them more receptive to learning.

He suggests incorporating consistent routines and positive reinforcement techniques to help dogs thrive. Owners should also consider engaging with a professional trainer to develop tailored strategies that align with their dog's specific needs, ensuring the best possible training outcomes.

They would bring a literal fighting dog into their house when they can't even housetrain the dogs

They would bring a literal fighting dog into their house when they can't even housetrain the dogs
Reddit

The OP is starting to feel like an AH, because he doesn't want the kids or dogs to get hurt

The OP is starting to feel like an AH, because he doesn't want the kids or dogs to get hurt
Reddit

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:

I refused to continue training Mia, which is putting the kids and other dogs at risk if she bites one of them. Mia would also be put down if that happened, so I feel like I'm abandoning all of them to my in-laws' poor dog training.

As usual, the comments rolled in...

As usual,  the comments rolled in...
Reddit

Experts in animal behavior often warn against bringing any dog into a household without proper preparation and training. A well-known animal behaviorist, Dr. Patricia McConnell, explains how improper socialization can lead to anxiety and aggressive behaviors in dogs.

She suggests that potential dog owners should consider their ability to provide the necessary training and socialization before adopting a dog. By prioritizing these factors, families can create a more harmonious home environment while ensuring the safety of all household members.

A comment from Agitated_Owl_4187

A comment from Agitated_Owl_4187
Reddit

The OP is considering reporting the situation

The OP is considering reporting the situation
Reddit

The OP went further to add:

I don't think I can just wash my hands of this, but at the same time I don't want to sentence this dog to death knowing she has the potential to be a really great dog for someone who knows what they're doing.

Dogs are good with consistency

Dogs are good with consistency
Reddit

Managing Expectations with Dog Training

Dr. John Wright, a veterinarian and animal behavior specialist, advises prospective dog owners to manage their expectations about training. He highlights that not all dogs learn at the same pace, and some breeds may be more challenging to train than others.

His recommendation is to establish a training routine that includes short, engaging sessions to maintain the dog's interest. This approach helps to facilitate learning while ensuring that both the dog and owner remain motivated throughout the training process.

They will accept zero responsibility

They will accept zero responsibility
Reddit

They are both awful

They are both awful
Reddit

The OP should not train the dogs

The OP should not train the dogs
Reddit

Dr. Temple Grandin, a well-known animal behavior expert, points out that understanding a dog's unique personality is key to successful training. She emphasizes that different breeds have distinct temperaments, which influence their learning capabilities.

By recognizing these differences, owners can tailor their training methods to suit their dog's individual needs, enhancing the overall effectiveness of their training efforts. This personalized approach can lead to a more fulfilling experience for both the owner and the dog.

Training a dog can be intimidating, particularly for new owners. Even though it's a big undertaking, it's manageable if you divide it up into smaller parts.

The OP is trying his best but his inlaws are just not interested to learn. Redditors understood this and the OP was declared not the AH.

Leave your thoughts about this story in the comments section and don't forget to share as well.

Expert Opinion

This situation highlights a common pattern in human behavior: the tendency to underestimate the responsibilities and challenges of pet ownership. The in-laws' nonchalance about training their dogs suggests a lack of awareness or denial about their capabilities and the potential dangers, which can stem from a desire to avoid discomfort or confrontation. Their reaction to the OP's concerns may also reflect defensive behavior—when faced with criticism, people often push back rather than engage with the uncomfortable reality.

Understanding the Deeper Patterns

Understanding the dynamics of dog training is essential for creating a successful relationship between pets and their owners. By implementing expert recommendations, such as tailoring training to individual dog needs and establishing a consistent routine, families can foster a positive environment for their pets.

Ultimately, investing time and effort in proper training not only enhances a dog's behavior but also strengthens the bond between pet and owner. Emphasizing patience and understanding will pave the way to a harmonious household.

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