Redditors Support Man As He Shares Why He Refuses To Train A Dog Owned By His Nonchalant Inlaws
Some people treat dog training like it’s optional, and this Reddit thread is the receipt. OP’s in-laws brought “nonchalant” energy to the most stressful possible setup: leaving a Presa cross dog, plus the kids, plus a 14-year-old babysitter, to just… wing it.
OP says training Mia is basically a full-time job, because without structure, a dog can pick up bad habits fast, and then everything gets harder. Meanwhile, the in-laws can’t even manage basic housetraining, yet they’re trusting a dog with bite risk around other kids and other dogs. OP is stuck between protecting everyone and feeling like he’s abandoning Mia if he stops training her.
Now OP is wondering if refusing to keep training Mia makes him the AH, or if it’s the only move that keeps the house from turning into a disaster.
The OP is asking...

One of OP's dogs is a Presa cross, and her training is basically a full-time job in itself

They decided it would be cool to leave the dogs alone with the kids and a 14-year-old babysitter

OP’s whole argument starts with that Presa cross, Mia, and the fact that her training is the kind of nonstop responsibility that does not fit “leave everyone alone for a bit” plans.
He notes that without a structured approach, dogs can develop problematic behaviors, making training much more difficult.
In his book, "Before and After Getting Your Puppy," he advocates for positive reinforcement methods that foster a loving relationship between the dog and its owner. This approach not only enhances the training experience but also strengthens the bond between them.
Building a Supportive Training Environment
Owners should also consider engaging with a professional trainer to develop tailored strategies that align with their dog's specific needs, ensuring the best possible training outcomes.
They would bring a literal fighting dog into their house when they can't even housetrain the dogs

The OP is starting to feel like an AH, because he doesn't want the kids or dogs to get hurt

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:
I refused to continue training Mia, which is putting the kids and other dogs at risk if she bites one of them. Mia would also be put down if that happened, so I feel like I'm abandoning all of them to my in-laws' poor dog training.
As usual, the comments rolled in...

That’s when the babysitter detail hits, because putting a 14-year-old in the middle of a dog that can bite is a gamble OP clearly does not want to place.
This is similar to the Redditor stuck living with a mother who refuses to train her dogs.
By prioritizing these factors, families can create a more harmonious home environment while ensuring the safety of all household members.
A comment from Agitated_Owl_4187

The OP is considering reporting the situation

Things really spiral when OP points out the in-laws can’t even housetrain their dogs, yet they’re expecting Mia to behave like a well-trained housemate.
The OP went further to add:
I don't think I can just wash my hands of this, but at the same time I don't want to sentence this dog to death knowing she has the potential to be a really great dog for someone who knows what they're doing.
Dogs are good with consistency

He highlights that not all dogs learn at the same pace, and some breeds may be more challenging to train than others.
His recommendation is to establish a training routine that includes short, engaging sessions to maintain the dog's interest. This approach helps to facilitate learning while ensuring that both the dog and owner remain motivated throughout the training process.
They will accept zero responsibility

They are both awful

The OP should not train the dogs

By the time OP talks about Mia potentially being put down after a bite, the comments go from “you’re overreacting” to “report it, because this is bigger than pride.”
Understanding a dog's unique personality is key to successful training.
By recognizing these differences, owners can tailor their training methods to suit their dog's individual needs, enhancing the overall effectiveness of their training efforts. This personalized approach can lead to a more fulfilling experience for both the owner and the dog.
Training a dog can be intimidating, particularly for new owners. Even though it's a big undertaking, it's manageable if you divide it up into smaller parts.
The OP is trying his best but his inlaws are just not interested to learn. Redditors understood this and the OP was declared not the AH.
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This situation highlights a common pattern in human behavior: the tendency to underestimate the responsibilities and challenges of pet ownership. The in-laws' nonchalance about training their dogs suggests a lack of awareness or denial about their capabilities and the potential dangers, which can stem from a desire to avoid discomfort or confrontation. Their reaction to the OP's concerns may also reflect defensive behavior—when faced with criticism, people often push back rather than engage with the uncomfortable reality.
The discussion surrounding the refusal of one man to train his in-laws' dog opens up important considerations about the dynamics of dog training. The article highlights that training is not just about commands and obedience; it is also about the relationship between the pet and the owner. The man’s reluctance stems from his in-laws' nonchalant attitude towards the training process, suggesting that a commitment to understanding individual dog needs is crucial. Without this commitment, the training experience can become frustrating and unproductive.
Moreover, the importance of establishing a consistent routine cannot be overstated. This consistency is key to creating a positive environment where dogs can thrive. The man’s perspective underscores that investing time and effort into proper training is not merely about enhancing behavior; it is also about nurturing a deeper bond that can lead to a more harmonious household. This scenario serves as a reminder that patience and understanding are vital components in the journey of dog training.
He’s not trying to be cruel, he’s trying to prevent the next bite from landing on a kid.
For another dog-training betrayal, see how she rehomes dogs after “helping,” then gets mad when caught.