GUYS. i just. had a morning walk. almost. caught gary. (gary is. a squirrel that. i named gary} the life. is good

THERE. IS THAT NOISE. AGAIN. TIME TO. RUN AROUND. THE ENTIRE HOUSE. BORK IT UP. TO PROTEC

hardwood floors. are not ideal. for zoomies. traction. nowhere to be found. this has been. a puplic. service announcement

i will grr. if i sense. a danger. i. will grrbork. if the danger. is confirmed. usually. i am wrong. about what is. and what isn't. a danger

snooze. you lose? please. a snooze. is always. a victory

i drank. all the water. in my bowl. earlier. but just now. i returned. to the same bowl. and it was. full again.. the bowl. is haunted

if i. am sleeping on you. you cannot move. it is. the law

the human. brought frens over. one of them. forgot to pet me. as they entered. that individual. has 30 seconds. to rectify. the situation

i've. gotten bigger. but the human. has always been. the same size. at this rate. i will soon. control the household

some say. dog life is easy. no worries no taxes. i say. walk a mile with my shoe. which reminds me. i took your shoe

i. am a:
 
⚪️ koala
⚪️ jungle. tortoise
🔘 puppo
 
seeking:
 
⚪️ noggin pats
⚪️ passionate boops
⚪️ permission. to zoom
🔘 all of. the above

today. i stole. an entire. avocado. took the human. several house loops. to take it back

if. you partake. in the partying tonight. do not forget. to look. for the dog. in the house. and give a pat

I HEARD. A NOISE. i am awake. ready to. confront. the source of. the noise. wish me luck

pet me. like. one of your. good boys

cut it out. with your. premature sky booms

do not. i repeat. DO NOT. take. my ball. only throw

the louder. i smack. my tail. against the floor. as i lay. on my side. the more. i love you