Tweets From The 'Thoughts Of Dog' Twitter Account To Make All Dogs Think

perks of. being dog:

3. no taxes
a. pets
• belly scritches
7. zooms (fast ones)
7. occasional swims
d) snoozes
1. peanut butter off. spoon

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) April 26, 2017

i. am. a strong proponent. of:

c. wags (good. ones)
2. cheese
III. invading spaces
7. stick
4. quests
7. peanut. butter yes
b. speedy zooms

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) June 9, 2017

GUYS. i just. had a morning walk. almost. caught gary. (gary is. a squirrel that. i named gary} the life. is good

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) June 11, 2017

THERE. IS THAT NOISE. AGAIN. TIME TO. RUN AROUND. THE ENTIRE HOUSE. BORK IT UP. TO PROTEC

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) June 16, 2017

hardwood floors. are not ideal. for zoomies. traction. nowhere to be found. this has been. a puplic. service announcement

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) June 25, 2017

i will grr. if i sense. a danger. i. will grrbork. if the danger. is confirmed. usually. i am wrong. about what is. and what isn't. a danger

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) June 26, 2017

snooze. you lose? please. a snooze. is always. a victory

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) June 30, 2017

i drank. all the water. in my bowl. earlier. but just now. i returned. to the same bowl. and it was. full again.. the bowl. is haunted

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) September 6, 2017

if i. am sleeping on you. you cannot move. it is. the law

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) September 4, 2017

the human. brought frens over. one of them. forgot to pet me. as they entered. that individual. has 30 seconds. to rectify. the situation

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) September 9, 2017

i've. gotten bigger. but the human. has always been. the same size. at this rate. i will soon. control the household

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) August 7, 2017

some say. dog life is easy. no worries no taxes. i say. walk a mile with my shoe. which reminds me. i took your shoe

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) March 27, 2017

i. am a:
 
⚪️ koala
⚪️ jungle. tortoise
🔘 puppo
 
seeking:
 
⚪️ noggin pats
⚪️ passionate boops
⚪️ permission. to zoom
🔘 all of. the above

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) August 22, 2017

today. i stole. an entire. avocado. took the human. several house loops. to take it back

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) September 10, 2017

if. you partake. in the partying tonight. do not forget. to look. for the dog. in the house. and give a pat

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) April 29, 2017

I HEARD. A NOISE. i am awake. ready to. confront. the source of. the noise. wish me luck

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) May 4, 2017

pet me. like. one of your. good boys

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) July 7, 2017

cut it out. with your. premature sky booms

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) July 3, 2017

do not. i repeat. DO NOT. take. my ball. only throw

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) May 10, 2017

the louder. i smack. my tail. against the floor. as i lay. on my side. the more. i love you

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) May 19, 2017