Best Friends Pregnancy vs. Cats: AITA for Refusing to Get Rid of My Pets?

by Sophia

14 Sep 2025

Are you ready for some drama? Imagine living peacefully in your own home, minding your own business, only to have a friend's mom barge in and demand that you get rid of your beloved feline companions because she thinks they pose a risk to her pregnant daughter.

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Well, that's exactly the situation our fellow Redditor found themselves in. Picture this: a best friend, pregnant and seeking refuge in their friend's home due to a rocky relationship with her mom, suddenly facing the ultimatum of choosing between staying with the cats or heeding her mom's warnings about toxoplasmosis.

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The Reddit post unfolds with a detailed account of the cat-loving OP's living situation, fostering activities, and the tense confrontation with the friend's mom. The OP stands firm, refusing to part ways with their furry friends but willing to compromise by limiting the number of foster cats in the house.

The dilemma raises the question: is the OP the jerk in this scenario for prioritizing their pets over the pregnant friend's well-being, as perceived by the friend's concerned mother? The comments section is buzzing with support for the OP, with many users siding with them and dismissing the mom's overbearing behavior as unwarranted.

Some even suggest that the friend's mom might have ulterior motives behind her demands. The discussion delves into the boundaries of responsibility, highlighting the complexities of navigating friendships and family dynamics in challenging situations.

So, dear Redditors, what's your take on this furry fiasco?

Original Post

Edit: thank you everyone for the suggestions and educational info. I did my best research as soon as I found out Kristy was pregnant and it was a relief to see so many comments concurring.

Secondly, I do thankfully have cameras in mostly all spaces in my home, including front and back entrances. I truly don’t believe Kristy herself would ever harm or put my cat in danger, but I know crazier things have happened so… Last, Kristy is staying at her bfs tonight and we haven’t spoken much on the situation.

In the little talk we had after her mom left, she was deeply apologetic and did tell me she doesn’t mind the cat(s) at all and doesn’t feel unsafe. I will be talking to her again tomorrow night about not allowing her mom here given the way she spoke to me and about my animals, and coming up with a more airtight agreement in writing of her living situation here.

Throwaway account. I 22F have lived alone since the beginning of this year in a 2b 2bath condo.

I have one cat who is my pet, but I also volunteer with a local cat rescue organization. It’s fairly often that I temporarily foster cats/kittens anywhere from just 1 night-2 weeks at most, until we clear them to be placed in our shelter, or with another foster, or they are adopted.

Usually I take in 1 foster at a time, but at times it’s 2 if they’re siblings, bonded, etc. Recently this summer, my best friend ‘Kristy’ 23F moved in with me because she was on very bad/hostile terms with her mom and stepdad who she lived with, and it was safer for her to move out.

I of course offered her to stay with me, and shes been in the spare bedroom since. However last month, Kristy found out she’s pregnant from her bf.

They have a plan to get their own place asap she says, but I truly don’t mind if she stays here as long as she needs. Given that she’s pregnant, when she told her mom last week, her mom wanted to come over and talk things over.

So she came here on Thursday and they talked privately for about 2 hours. When they came out it seemed like it was a good chat and they were more relaxed.

But, her mom kinda turned her attention towards me and said “if Kristy’s going to be living here, you need to do something about the cats.” I asked what she meant, and she mentioned toxoplasmosis, the litter boxes, number of cats here, etc. and started getting an attitude towards me and said “you guys should’ve thought of this already.” I let her know we did actually; and there’s an extremely low to no risk of toxoplasmosis.

I only have one cat (my own) in the main house, who doesn’t go into Kristy’s room. Kristy also has 0 obligations or responsibilities for my cats, I let her know that the minute she moved in.

All litter boxes are cleaned minimum twice daily, and aren’t even anywhere near Kristy. My cats litter box is kept in the garage (she has a cat door) and any foster cats I have are kept in my master bathroom.

It’s a large bathroom and adapted to be safe for a temporary foster. The only interaction Kristy has is if she happens to be in the living room/hallway/kitchen with my cat at the same time, so contact is extremely limited.

I also want to add, all cats I foster are up to date with vaccines, spayed/neutered, and exclusively indoor cats only. After explaining all this to Kristy’s mom, I told her that at most I would be willing to possibly limit the fosters I bring in, but I will absolutely not be getting rid of my cat.

She told me “well yours is the biggest risk here.” ALSO she tried to suggest that I should stop volunteering with cats altogether until Kristy moved out or until the baby is born. Kristy tried interrupting her mom to calm down because she kept going on about how I’m being selfish, I’m not realizing that she’s carrying another life now, not considering the risks, etc.

but given their relationship, she was very on edge with her mom which I understand. I love my best friend, but I will not be getting rid of my pet in my own home that was here before she was.

I’m willing to adapt and limit fosters, but I genuinely do not think I’m risking anyone’s health here and don’t want to stop volunteering. AITA?

Understanding the Psychology of Pet Ownership

Pet ownership often fulfills deep emotional needs, providing companionship, love, and a sense of purpose. According to research from the American Psychological Association, owning pets can significantly reduce feelings of loneliness and improve overall mental health.

This is especially relevant in the context of pregnancy, where emotional support is crucial for expecting mothers. The bond with pets can serve as a form of emotional regulation, helping individuals manage stress and anxiety during significant life changes.

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Conflict over pet ownership during life transitions, such as pregnancy, can reveal underlying attachment styles. Dr. John Bowlby's attachment theory emphasizes that our early relationships with caregivers shape how we connect with others later in life.

People with secure attachment styles are more likely to navigate these conflicts with empathy and compromise, while those with anxious or avoidant styles may struggle, leading to more intense disagreements.

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Navigating Emotional Tensions

When friends experience major life changes, such as pregnancy, they often seek reassurance and support. However, the pressure to alter one's living situation can create feelings of guilt and resentment, especially when pets are involved.

Research shows that asserting personal boundaries can be an essential part of maintaining healthy relationships. Setting clear boundaries about pet ownership is crucial for preserving one's mental health and ensuring a balanced friendship.

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To maintain harmony in this situation, effective communication is key. Using 'I' statements can help convey feelings without assigning blame, such as saying, 'I feel overwhelmed when asked to give up my pets.' This approach fosters understanding and empathy.

Moreover, discussing the benefits of pets for mental well-being could help the pregnant friend understand the importance of the pets in the owner's life, potentially leading to a compromise that respects both parties' needs.

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Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section.

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Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Ultimately, navigating pet ownership during significant life changes requires a balance of empathy and self-advocacy. It's essential for individuals to honor their emotional needs while also being sensitive to the concerns of others.

As research highlights, maintaining open dialogue can lead to solutions that respect both friendships and personal boundaries, fostering healthier relationships overall.

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