Best Friends Pregnancy vs. Cats: AITA for Refusing to Get Rid of My Pets?

by Sophia

14 Sep 2025

Some people don’t recognize a favor until they start adding conditions to it. That’s exactly what happened to OP when her best friend, Kristy, moved in after a nasty blowup with her mom and stepdad, and then found out she was pregnant.

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OP lives alone in a two-bedroom, two-bath condo with a cat, plus she volunteers with a local rescue and sometimes fosters two at a time. Kristy stays in the spare bedroom, and OP is fine with her being there until they get their own place. But when Kristy’s mom shows up for a private two-hour talk, things turn sour fast, with her mom shifting the conversation onto OP’s animals and what OP “needs to do” if Kristy is going to live there.

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Now OP is stuck trying to protect her pets, her home, and her friendship, while deciding how far Kristy’s mom should be allowed to go.

Original Post

Edit: thank you everyone for the suggestions and educational info. I did my best research as soon as I found out Kristy was pregnant and it was a relief to see so many comments concurring.
Secondly, I do thankfully have cameras in mostly all spaces in my home, including front and back entrances. I truly don’t believe Kristy herself would ever harm or put my cat in danger, but I know crazier things have happened so… Last, Kristy is staying at her bfs tonight and we haven’t spoken much on the situation.
In the little talk we had after her mom left, she was deeply apologetic and did tell me she doesn’t mind the cat(s) at all and doesn’t feel unsafe. I will be talking to her again tomorrow night about not allowing her mom here given the way she spoke to me and about my animals, and coming up with a more airtight agreement in writing of her living situation here.

Throwaway account. I 22F have lived alone since the beginning of this year in a 2b 2bath condo.
I have one cat who is my pet, but I also volunteer with a local cat rescue organization.
Usually I take in 1 foster at a time, but at times it’s 2 if they’re siblings, bonded, etc. Recently this summer, my best friend ‘Kristy’ 23F moved in with me because she was on very bad/hostile terms with her mom and stepdad who she lived with, and it was safer for her to move out.

I of course offered her to stay with me, and shes been in the spare bedroom since. However last month, Kristy found out she’s pregnant from her bf.
They have a plan to get their own place asap she says, but I truly don’t mind if she stays here as long as she needs. Given that she’s pregnant, when she told her mom last week, her mom wanted to come over and talk things over.
So she came here on Thursday and they talked privately for about 2 hours. When they came out it seemed like it was a good chat and they were more relaxed.

But, her mom kinda turned her attention towards me and said “if Kristy’s going to be living here, you need to do something about the cats.” I asked what she meant, and she mentioned toxoplasmosis, the litter boxes, number of cats here, etc. and started getting an attitude towards me and said “you guys should’ve thought of this already.” I let her know we did actually; and there’s an extremely low to no risk of toxoplasmosis.
I only have one cat (my own) in the main house, who doesn’t go into Kristy’s room. Kristy also has 0 obligations or responsibilities for my cats, I let her know that the minute she moved in.
All litter boxes are cleaned minimum twice daily, and aren’t even anywhere near Kristy. My cats litter box is kept in the garage (she has a cat door) and any foster cats I have are kept in my master bathroom.

It’s a large bathroom and adapted to be safe for a temporary foster. The only interaction Kristy has is if she happens to be in the living room/hallway/kitchen with my cat at the same time, so contact is extremely limited.
I also want to add, all cats I foster are up to date with vaccines, spayed/neutered, and exclusively indoor cats only. After explaining all this to Kristy’s mom, I told her that at most I would be willing to possibly limit the fosters I bring in, but I will absolutely not be getting rid of my cat.
She told me “well yours is the biggest risk here.” ALSO she tried to suggest that I should stop volunteering with cats altogether until Kristy moved out or until the baby is born. Kristy tried interrupting her mom to calm down because she kept going on about how I’m being selfish, I’m not realizing that she’s carrying another life now, not considering the risks, etc.

but given their relationship, she was very on edge with her mom which I understand. I love my best friend, but I will not be getting rid of my pet in my own home that was here before she was.
I’m willing to adapt and limit fosters, but I genuinely do not think I’m risking anyone’s health here and don’t want to stop volunteering. AITA?

The dilemma of pet ownership versus a friend's concerns brings into focus the profound emotional bonds that pets create in our lives. In the case of a friend’s mom demanding the removal of beloved cats, we see a clash not just of preferences but of fundamental emotional needs. Pets often provide companionship and love that can be especially vital for individuals facing significant life changes, such as pregnancy. For expecting mothers, the presence of pets may offer a unique form of emotional support that helps alleviate feelings of loneliness and stress during a transformative period. The article highlights how this bond can enhance mental well-being, making the decision to part with pets a deeply personal and challenging one.

Comment from u/sickofdriving007

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Comment from u/TheSannens

The minute Kristy’s mom started talking to OP like her cat situation was negotiable, the whole “safe place to stay” vibe cracked.

The clash over pet ownership during significant life changes, particularly pregnancy, often uncovers deeper emotional dynamics at play.

Comment from u/[deleted]

After two hours of seemingly calm conversation, her mom waited until they came out and then targeted OP’s animals directly.

It also echoes the woman with 20-plus cats who got offended when her adult son wouldn’t sleep there with a baby.

When friends experience major life changes, such as pregnancy, they often seek reassurance and support.

Comment from u/Individual_Ad_9213

Comment from u/[deleted]

OP’s cameras, the cat rescue fosters, and Kristy staying over with her boyfriend tonight all make the next conversation tomorrow night feel tense.

To maintain harmony in this situation, effective communication is key.

Comment from u/Waste_Worker6122

Comment from u/StAlvis

Since Kristy apologized, said she doesn’t feel unsafe, and still doesn’t mind the cats, OP now has to decide what an airtight agreement even looks like.

Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section.