Pet Lovers Open Up About The Sweet Ways Dog Owners Can Build Lasting Bonds With Their Pets
Dogs are, hands down, lovely creatures that you simply want to be close to the moment you bring them into your home. However, like humans, dogs have different personalities, and some may not be very trusting from the beginning.
Some might take a bit longer to warm up and trust, but the journey of building that bond is incredibly rewarding. Once you notice that your dog wants to be near you, consider it a good sign.
You surely wouldn't want your furry friend feeling anxious whenever you're nearby, with their tail tucked, ears back, and scurrying off at the sight of you. Yet, you also wouldn't wish for your dog to develop separation anxiety.
As experts point out, a dog who can't bear to let you use the bathroom alone isn't a sign of a loving bond but rather an unhealthy attachment. Part of the goal of dog training is to cultivate a content, self-assured canine companion who effortlessly balances independence with affection.
And if you're looking for ideas on how to make this happen, this post is for you. We've compiled some of the best responses to this question posted on Quora:
How can I get my dog to bond with me?
Have the doggo put you to sleep.
Hands down, this.
She puts me to bed every night, encouraging me with barks, whines, and even nudging. She is a Border Collie, after all.
Then she snuggles with me, making happy, quiet sounds—grunts, groans, moans, and this trilling sound I never knew a dog could make.
It's utter joy for both of us. I can't describe how much this means to me. You can see by her gray muzzle that my girl is getting old.
I treasure every moment, but these are my favorites. My Frankie.
Patience is necessary, especially with dogs with a history of abuse.
Patience.
When my mother brought home an older (7 or so?) shelter dog that had been abused, she did not even look at us but would cower in a corner. She brought her home because the dog had taken care of puppies that were not her own in the shelter, and my mom said she must have a “good heart.”
The dog kept her distance for a long time. She wasn’t aggressive; she would never lash out, but was clearly just scared.
We would sit on the floor, talk to her, listen to soft music, and just hang out. Slowly but surely, she wouldn’t cower when we would pet her (always approaching gently and slowly). She then started to sit in rooms we were also in, and then…one day, she sat on my feet. It was amazing.
It had taken her a long time, and it would literally be a few years before she would do any more than that. She loved just touching you.
That dog would live to be almost 20 years old…she would become mostly deaf and partially blind, but she slept on/shared my pillow until I went off to college.
I don’t know what had happened to her prior to meeting us, but I was so very grateful that she found a wonderful family to spend her life with. She would roam the farm, chase chickens, go on vacations, and spend evenings on the porch.
She was complex, beautiful, loving, completely loyal, and my best buddy.
A lot of people think a 7-year-old dog is “too old,” or they overlook them…they might not all live as long as ours did—but man, older dogs are just the best.
Best of luck as you navigate the journey with your dog…hang in there—it’s worth it.
A dog trainer's take:
Three things…
It's called a “Long Line”…
He delivers his advice step-by-step.
Attach one end to your dog and the other to yourself. Do not allow your dog to leave your side for the next few weeks. Asleep or away, no matter where you go, your dog goes with you.
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It's called a “Treat Bag”…
And at the end of his post, suggests a book about dog training.
Put your dog's food bowl away, put his entire day's food allotment in that bag first thing in the morning, and then HAND FEED your dog throughout the day.
Your dog should receive NOTHING by mouth that does not come from your hand.
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It's called a “Training Plan”…
Follow a recognized plan in Basic Obedience Training. (Yes, that book is my recommendation.)
Hold several short formal sessions each day for the next few weeks, using your dog's food as rewards.
Despite a dog's history of abuse, it will still want to trust and bond with a human.
You’ve got some good answers. Patience, patience, patience.
A great trick I learned is that I will read to an abused dog for 1 hour every night at exactly the same time. I usually feed at the same time, but I place the food far away from me.
Guinness was so petrified that he tried to hide behind the toilet—a 110-pound Rottweiler. Only his head would fit.
It took several weeks (he really likes Jim Butcher and the ‘Harry Dresden Files’), but he slowly relaxed and got closer.
Trust me, they CRAVE trust and bonding, but they are reticent to supply it if they’ve been punished for showing trust in the past.
No fast motions, don’t rush it, keep your voice calm and even.
Please keep me posted—you are my hero for snagging an abused shelter dog!!!!
Treats are the way to a dog's heart.
Sit near the dog, talking softly. Don’t reach out for the dog or even look at it.
Have some really good-smelling treats with you. Microwaved hot dogs are good.
This is going to take time. At first, you will do nothing with the treats.
Don’t make any sudden moves. Enter and leave the area on your knees.
You don’t want to spook her or make her feel like you are dominating her. Should she move towards you even slightly, toss a treat near her.
Don’t throw it; just toss it lightly. Most likely, the first few times you try this, she is not going to react if she is that subdued.
But sooner or later, she will approach you. Do not reach out for her; let her make first contact.
Should she reach the point of laying her head against you, then you may attempt to touch her. Always allow her to retreat, and you need to be willing to retreat also.
Reward any movement towards you with a treat. Keep talking softly so she gets used to the sound of your voice.
Dogs have been bred to need humans; let that fact work for you. But make sure all movements and changes are her idea.
Make it fun and interesting.
Play, train, and do all the funny stuff your dog likes.
If it's jumping over fences??? Catching sticks or balls???
Play hide and seek????
Sniff out good hiding spots????
And pet the dog, hug, rub, and talk to him!
Among the different suggestions from owners, one piece of advice stands out: patience. It's vital for owners to embrace patience as they navigate the journey of bonding with their furry friends.
When they attentively observe and discover what brings joy to their dog's heart, owners can cultivate a bond that's as resilient as it is heartwarming.
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