Refusing to House-Sit Due to Allergic Reaction: A Fair Move or Overreaction?

by Holly

2025-03-24 05:48

Are you the jerk for declining to house-sit for a friend after finding out they got a cat? The original post on the subreddit r/AmItheAsshole delves into a dilemma faced by a user who agreed to watch a friend's house and beloved dog, only to discover last-minute that a cat had been added to the mix.

[ADVERTISEMENT]

The twist? The user is severely allergic to cats.

[ADVERTISEMENT]

Despite taking time off work and preparing to care for the dog, the surprise cat revelation threw a wrench in the plans. The user expressed concerns about their allergies and inability to stay in a house with a cat, offering alternatives like checking on the dog if the cat was isolated.

The friend got defensive, leaving for their trip upset at the user's decision. A mutual friend later weighed in, suggesting the user should have toughed it out.

The comments section is split, with some empathizing with the user's severe allergies and others criticizing the last-minute nature of the revelation. The discussion touches on the seriousness of allergies, the importance of communication in such situations, and the boundaries of accommodating friends' needs.

The judgment on whether the user was in the wrong or not is up for debate in the thread, with various perspectives adding depth to the situation.

Original Post

I (28M) agreed to house-sit for my friend Alex (30M) while they went on a week-long vacation. Alex has a dog that I’ve always loved, and I thought it would be nice to help them out.
I even took some time off work to make sure I could give the dog plenty of attention. A few days before Alex left, I went over to get the house keys and a rundown of what needed to be done.
That’s when Alex casually mentioned, “Oh, by the way, we got a cat!” This caught me off guard because I’m very allergic to cats. Alex knows this—I’ve had to leave gatherings early before because of my allergies.

I asked why they hadn’t told me earlier, and Alex said they forgot because they’d only had the cat for about a month. I told Alex I couldn’t stay in their house if they had a cat.
Even if I avoided it, the dander would still trigger my allergies. I suggested they ask someone else or hire a sitter.
Alex got defensive, saying I was leaving them in a lurch right before their trip. I felt bad, but I didn’t think it was fair for Alex to spring this on me last minute.

I offered to check in on the dog daily (if they could isolate the cat in another room), but Alex said that wouldn’t work. They ended up scrambling to find someone else and left for their trip angry at me.
A mutual friend later told me I should’ve sucked it up for a week because Alex really needed the break and probably just forgot to mention the cat. I’m starting to feel like I might’ve overreacted.
AITA?