The Most Important Skills Every Cat Owner (Slave) Needs To Master
Owning a cat is not as simple a task as some people make it out to be. It's a lot more fun than people let on, though. Cats are seriously incredible little creatures.
They pack a metric ton of personality into their fluffy little bodies, and quite frankly, that should come with an instruction manual. Since we love cats so much, we've kind of assembled a photographic and artistic manual.
You're going to love it; it's purrty spot on, and any cat owner can relate. If you haven't welcomed a cat into your home just yet, this is everything you need to know to be properly prepared!
1. What's worse? Cats or toddlers?
You can hide from a toddler, but you cannot hide from a cat. If kitty wants that treat, kitty is coming for you.
2. Love Bites.
If you can convince yourself that those are bites of love, then you're headed to good places.
3. Top Priority:
You need to know the preferred petting places. This graphic should do nicely.
4. Playing off our previous advice:
Do not pet the tummy. It's a trap.
5. The moment.
You need to learn the moment "that's just right" becomes "that's too much; death is imminent."
6. Choices?
You don't choose the cat life; the cat life chooses you.
7. Never. Move. Again.
Once the cat life chooses you, prepare to hold your pee for a really, really, really, REALLY long time. Never disturb the kitty.
8. Speaking of Cats versus Toddlers...
Your cat won't let you pee alone, either. Prepare for it.
9. Learn Patience. Practice Patience.
You're going to need a lot of it when your cat takes 10 steps in and 10 steps out about 20 times before deciding that a little bit of both works best.
10. All your things belong to cat.
You will no longer do anything alone. And if kitty can't sleep on your computer, then kitty will make sure you can't use it comfortably alone.
11. Acquire new tastes.
Hair eventually enhances flavor.
12. The great kitty alarm clock.
Throw out your alarm clock; you have a cat now.
13. Reading body language and facial expressions is important.
Is this the face of a kitty excited to see you or ready to murder you? You'll be ready for a cat when you can answer correctly.
14. One-sided conversations!
Your cat is a vocal creature, but it's time to get used to one-sided conversations. You have a lot more to say than kitty.
15. Master the Sneeze.
If you can't figure out how to sneeze quietly, then you're doomed.
16. Whose bed is it anyway?
Not yours anymore, pal. Not yours anymore.
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