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MIL Gives Away Son's Cat Despite Being Told To Wait For His Return, Risks Losing Contact With Her Son

Damjan
by Damjan
9 Sep 2023

A 28-year-old woman refused to let her mother-in-law treat her son’s cat like it was up for grabs, and now the whole family is stuck in the fallout. The cat was supposed to be cared for during a visit, not quietly removed like a minor inconvenience.

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Here’s the messy part: OP’s MIL and FIL took over cat care while OP’s partner was visiting her family, and everyone thought the plan was simple. Then MIL gave the cat away despite being told to wait for her son’s return, and OP’s partner is spiraling, second-guessing everything, and even considering going no contact.

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Because pets are not “temporary,” this one decision is threatening to break the relationship for good.

And here, the OP is telling the Reddit community her story

And here, the OP is telling the Reddit community her story
Reddit/chopstickinsect
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OP's MIL and FIL have been caring for their cats while they have been visiting her family

OP's MIL and FIL have been caring for their cats while they have been visiting her family
Reddit/chopstickinsect

OP's partner is beating himself up about it and considering going no contact with his mom

OP's partner is beating himself up about it and considering going no contact with his mom
Reddit/chopstickinsect

The Emotional Significance of Pets in Families

Pets often hold significant emotional value in families, serving as sources of comfort and companionship. Research published in the Journal of Applied Animal Welfare Science indicates that pets can enhance emotional well-being and foster strong family bonds.

When a pet is given away, it can evoke feelings of loss similar to those experienced with human relationships, highlighting the importance of addressing the emotional ramifications of such decisions.

OP’s partner trusted his mom to hold the line while she and FIL watched the cats, and that trust is what makes the betrayal sting.

The Emotional Connection to Pets

Pets often hold a significant emotional place in our lives, akin to family members.

We've gathered some of the top comments from other Redditors in response to the OP's story

We've gathered some of the top comments from other Redditors in response to the OP's story
Reddit/chopstickinsect

The entitlement is staggering for this Redditor, let alone the selfishness

The entitlement is staggering for this Redditor, let alone the selfishness
Reddit/chopstickinsect

It's clearly not okay if she got the message before giving the cat away

It's clearly not okay if she got the message before giving the cat away
Reddit/chopstickinsect

The dynamics of pet ownership can be complex, particularly when it comes to shared responsibilities and emotional attachments.

When a family member disregards another's emotional attachment to a pet, it can lead to feelings of betrayal and anger, complicating relationships further.

The moment MIL gave the cat away before her son got back, the whole situation stopped being “a mistake” and turned into a power move.

From a behavioral perspective, the mother-in-law's actions may reflect a lack of understanding of the importance of pets in the owner's life. Research suggests that dismissing another's emotional attachments can lead to feelings of disrespect and invalidation, which can strain family relationships. This dynamic is particularly evident when one party feels their emotional needs are not acknowledged.

This Redditor listed the couple of scenarios at play in this story

This Redditor listed the couple of scenarios at play in this story
Reddit/chopstickinsect

She crossed a huge line and she needs a big time out

She crossed a huge line and she needs a big time out
Reddit/chopstickinsect

From a Redditor:

I agree with the poster who said to get contact information for the family that adopted your cat. If she won’t give you that information, it would make me wonder if there was a family or if she didn’t take it and drop it off somewhere, or give it to a shelter, or have it put down.

It also echoes the rent-free property offer that turned into a feline babysitting deal, where they had to watch four cats in this mother-son takeover story.

This Redditor says they would never speak to the MIL again

This Redditor says they would never speak to the MIL again
Reddit/chopstickinsect

Conflicts over pets can arise from misunderstandings about the emotional significance of animals in family life.

Now OP is watching her partner beat himself up over whether he should cut contact, while the cat’s missing presence hangs over every family interaction.

Effective communication is vital in resolving conflicts related to pets within families.

She could've compromised no matter what reason she gave for doing so

She could've compromised no matter what reason she gave for doing so
Reddit/chopstickinsect

This Redditor's eyebrows shot off their head from reading the story

This Redditor's eyebrows shot off their head from reading the story
Reddit/chopstickinsect

They shouldn't be rewarded with more drama for this cruelty

They shouldn't be rewarded with more drama for this cruelty
Reddit/chopstickinsect

Engaging in family discussions about the emotional significance of pets can also foster empathy and understanding.

These discussions can help family members appreciate each other's perspectives and promote a more harmonious living environment.

Even the comments zero in on it, with people calling out the entitlement and urging OP to get contact info so this doesn’t vanish into thin air.

Moreover, involving a neutral third party, such as a family mediator, can facilitate discussions around sensitive issues like pet ownership. This approach can be particularly effective when family dynamics become strained due to emotional attachments.

What social grace is in this situation

What social grace is in this situation
Reddit/chopstickinsect

So many Redditors agreed that the OP was surely not overreacting, as her MIL was told to wait, but she didn't. This cat is clearly family to the OP and her partner, and they just wanted to ensure it was in capable hands, but the MIL didn't even give them that chance.

Do drop your thoughts about this story in the comments section below and share this post as well.

Establishing boundaries is crucial in maintaining healthy family relationships, especially regarding pets.

The situation surrounding the mother giving away her son's cat, despite being advised to wait for his return, highlights a troubling disregard for the emotional bonds that pets create within families. Pets are not merely animals; they are integral members of the family, providing companionship and emotional support. When these connections are overlooked, as seen in this case, it risks not only the well-being of the animal but also the familial relationships that can be strained as a result. The act of giving away a pet can create feelings of betrayal and abandonment, which may lead to irreparable damage in the relationship between the mother and her son. It is crucial for families to recognize the importance of empathy and respect for these attachments, fostering an environment where both human and animal well-being are prioritized. The necessity of open communication and the establishment of boundaries cannot be understated in resolving the conflicts that arise from such decisions. This scenario serves as a reminder that the emotional landscape of family life is deeply intertwined with the presence of pets, and their well-being should be treated with the utmost care and consideration.

Setting boundaries is essential in maintaining healthy family dynamics, particularly when it comes to shared responsibilities like pet ownership.

Establishing these boundaries can be achieved through open conversations where everyone's feelings and responsibilities are acknowledged.

Navigating the emotional terrain surrounding pet ownership demands a careful balance of empathy and understanding.

The cat wasn’t the only thing MIL risked losing, because her son’s relationship with her might be next.

After the MIL “my way or the highway” move, see what happened when a cat was rehomed anyway in this Redditor’s MIL situation.

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