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Pet Owner Has Had It With Their Entitled Roommate Who Owns A Dog Yet Dumps The Responsibility Of Training It On Others

Sophia
by Sophia
31 Oct 2022

Who is going to take care of the dog when your roommate is at work or out of town? Well, it shouldn't be you (unless, of course, you're willing to take on that responsibility).

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Dogs are expensive. In addition to the cost of food and vet bills, there are also things like obedience classes, toys, and doggy daycare to consider.

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One rule that should always be set in stone is that it is never a roommate's responsibility to take care of the dog. The reason for this is simple—a dog is not a toy or an accessory; they're a living creature that needs love and attention.

Taking care of a dog is a big commitment, and if your roommate isn't willing to make that commitment, then they shouldn't have owned one in the first place.

Of course, there will be times when your roommate breaks this rule and doesn't take the dog out or neglects to feed them. When this happens, it's important to have a conversation with your roommate about why their actions are not acceptable.

Today's post is about a Redditor and their entitled roommate. The original poster is a dog owner with a roommate who also owns a canine.

But there's one problem: this roommate thinks that it's also the OP's responsibility to train their dog.

If you're a responsible dog owner and an adult with responsibilities, naturally, you'd think this roommate's way of thinking is absurd. Let's take a look at how the users of the "Am I The A**hole?" (AITA) subreddit reacted.

These two people are roommates who also have their own dogs.

These two people are roommates who also have their own dogs.
HarmonyDiscordia
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Training the other dog is taking away the OP's time.

Training the other dog is taking away the OP's time.
HarmonyDiscordia
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An anxious dog can be destructive.

An anxious dog can be destructive.
Lunamarina

The Dilemma of Shared Responsibilities

Living with a roommate who owns a pet can create complex dynamics, particularly around responsibility. According to research from the University of California, Berkeley, shared living situations often lead to conflicts when expectations around pet care are misaligned. This can lead to feelings of resentment if one party feels overburdened with the responsibilities.

In this case, the pet owner's reliance on others for training highlights a lack of accountability that can strain relationships.

Responsibility in Shared Pet Ownership

Shared pet ownership can lead to significant emotional stress, especially when responsibilities are unevenly distributed. According to research published in the Journal of Family Psychology, disparities in pet care duties can create resentment and conflict among housemates.

This stress often stems from perceived inequities in effort and time commitment, which can damage relationships if not addressed appropriately.

Training the other dog is making the OP stressed.

Training the other dog is making the OP stressed.
HarmonyDiscordia

The OP has had enough and decided to just go on walks with their dog only.

The OP has had enough and decided to just go on walks with their dog only.
HarmonyDiscordia

The situation is taking a toll on OP's mental health.

The situation is taking a toll on OP's mental health.
HarmonyDiscordia

Psychologically, this situation may also relate to the concept of 'role strain.' Role strain occurs when an individual experiences difficulty fulfilling the expectations associated with a particular role. In this case, the pet owner may struggle with the role of a responsible dog owner, leading to dependency on others for support.

This dynamic can create tension, as it places an undue burden on the roommate, who feels compelled to step in and train the dog.

Behavioral psychologists suggest that establishing clear communication about pet care responsibilities can mitigate potential conflicts. Setting expectations from the outset can help housemates understand their roles and reduce feelings of resentment.

Research indicates that when individuals feel heard and valued, they are more likely to contribute positively to shared responsibilities.

Their roommate wants the OP to take some responsibility for the dog that OP doesn't even own.

Their roommate wants the OP to take some responsibility for the dog that OP doesn't even own.
HarmonyDiscordia

While it's best that they live separately, the OP thinks that their roommate will once again dump the responsibility on others.

While it's best that they live separately, the OP thinks that their roommate will once again dump the responsibility on others.
HarmonyDiscordia

It's never the OP's responsibility to train the dog.

It's never the OP's responsibility to train the dog.
NUT-me-SHELL

Understanding the Emotional Impact

The emotional consequences of these dynamics can be significant. According to the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, individuals who feel their boundaries are violated often experience heightened levels of frustration and resentment. This can lead to a breakdown in communication and an escalation of conflict.

In this scenario, the pet owner’s disregard for the roommate's feelings can exacerbate the situation, making it essential to address these emotions directly.

The Emotional Impact of Resentment

Resentment can significantly impact the well-being of both pets and their owners. Studies show that when individuals feel burdened by responsibilities, it can lead to decreased emotional availability, affecting the quality of interactions with both pets and roommates.

Understanding this emotional dynamic is crucial for maintaining a healthy household where both pets and people thrive.

The OP did more than enough for their roommate's dog. It's time for the roommate to take responsibility.

The OP did more than enough for their roommate's dog. It's time for the roommate to take responsibility.
bobbleheadache

It's the roommate who needs to make adjustments, not the OP.

It's the roommate who needs to make adjustments, not the OP.
Source

It should be the roommate who deals with their own dog's separation anxiety.

It should be the roommate who deals with their own dog's separation anxiety.
Source

Moreover, the concept of 'co-dependency' may be at play here. Co-dependency is characterized by excessive reliance on others for emotional support and validation. In this case, the pet owner’s dependence on the roommate for training may reflect deeper issues related to self-efficacy and confidence in fulfilling their role as a pet owner.

Addressing these underlying issues can be crucial for resolving the conflict and promoting personal growth.

Moreover, addressing these feelings of resentment is essential for the overall health of the pet. Research suggests that pets can sense their owners' emotional states, which can lead to behavioral issues if the owner is stressed or unhappy.

Thus, creating an environment of mutual support and understanding is vital for the well-being of all parties involved.

Since when are dogs a roommate's responsibility? This person is being unreasonable.

Since when are dogs a roommate's responsibility? This person is being unreasonable.
Source

The easiest solution is for someone to move out.

The easiest solution is for someone to move out.
Source

The roommate probably needs to involve a professional trainer.

The roommate probably needs to involve a professional trainer.
Source

Practical Communication Strategies

To navigate this situation effectively, clear communication is crucial. The roommate should express their feelings about the imbalance in responsibilities openly. Utilizing 'I' statements, such as 'I feel overwhelmed when I have to train your dog without your involvement,' can help convey their perspective without sounding accusatory.

This approach can foster a more constructive dialogue, allowing both parties to discuss their needs and establish more equitable responsibilities.

Building a Cooperative Environment

To foster a cooperative living situation, housemates can engage in regular discussions about pet care duties and expectations. Establishing a pet care schedule can provide clarity and accountability, ensuring that everyone is on the same page.

Research supports the idea that structured routines can enhance feelings of security and stability for pets, leading to better behavior and emotional well-being.

A user suggests putting it in a crate with a bone every time the OP and the dog go out on walks.

A user suggests putting it in a crate with a bone every time the OP and the dog go out on walks.
Source

Another user asked if the roommate has a crate.

Another user asked if the roommate has a crate.
via Unddit

According to the OP, using a crate isn't good for the roommate's dog.

According to the OP, using a crate isn't good for the roommate's dog.
via Unddit

Additionally, setting clear expectations about pet care responsibilities can alleviate some of the strain. Creating a written agreement outlining who is responsible for training and other tasks can help clarify roles and reduce misunderstandings. Research shows that written agreements can enhance accountability and improve cooperation in shared living situations.

By establishing these boundaries, both individuals can work toward a more harmonious living environment.

Ultimately, fostering a supportive community among housemates can lead to a healthier living environment for both humans and pets. Encouraging open dialogue about feelings and responsibilities can help alleviate stress and build stronger bonds.

By working together, housemates can create a harmonious atmosphere that benefits everyone involved.

A Redditor suggests getting a crate without wire bars.

A Redditor suggests getting a crate without wire bars.
Source

The roommate probably needs a new crate and to create a new routine.

The roommate probably needs a new crate and to create a new routine.
Source

The OP is not in a state where they can manage to train another dog.

The OP is not in a state where they can manage to train another dog.
via Unddit

Seeking External Support

In situations where conflicts become particularly challenging, seeking external support can be helpful. Engaging a mediator or therapist to facilitate discussions about responsibilities can provide a neutral ground for both parties to express their concerns. According to the American Psychological Association, mediation often leads to more satisfactory resolutions in conflicts.

This can help transform a contentious relationship into a more cooperative one, ultimately benefiting both the pet and the roommates involved.

According to experts, roommates, especially those with dogs, should set boundaries from the very beginning. All responsibilities should be clear.

If it works, try to set up a schedule in written form for all the roommates to follow. If the person you share a house with isn't being cooperative, it's time to consider moving out.

Psychological Analysis

This situation reflects the challenges of shared responsibilities in pet ownership, often leading to emotional strain. It's essential for roommates to communicate openly to ensure that everyone feels valued and responsible for the pet's care.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, understanding the dynamics of shared pet ownership is vital for maintaining healthy relationships among housemates.

By addressing feelings of resentment and establishing clear communication, everyone can contribute to a more positive living environment.

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, the complexities of shared pet ownership highlight the importance of clear communication and mutual respect in roommate relationships. Understanding the psychological dynamics at play can help address underlying issues that contribute to conflict.

Ultimately, fostering cooperation and accountability can create a more positive living environment for both the roommates and the pet.

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