Person Congratulates Their Ex On Getting A New Cat, And Now Their Partner Thinks They're Cheating
A Reddit user dated their ex for four years and broke up about three years ago. Since then, they’ve been in a happy relationship with their current partner for two and a half years.
Things got awkward when the current partner noticed the ex’s name on the OP’s Snapchat “log.” Curiosity led to a question: were they still talking?
The OP explained that they weren’t in regular contact, but they had replied to their ex’s story about a new cat. They simply congratulated the ex because, well, the cat was cute—nothing more.
What followed, however, was unexpected. The current partner became upset, hurt by the mere idea that the OP would reach out to an ex.
“When you break up, that’s it. No more contact,” the partner insisted. The OP, on the other hand, had always believed in keeping things civil. Especially with serious past relationships, they thought maturity meant acknowledging milestones, even minor ones like a new pet.
The OP admits feeling conflicted. Ignoring someone who knows you well just because of a breakup felt unnatural, and now they feel terrible for upsetting their partner.
The Redditor wondered: was congratulating an ex really crossing a line? After reading through comments and advice, they realized the real issue might be a lack of clear boundaries.
Communication, it turns out, is key. The OP now understands that discussing what’s acceptable with exes could prevent hurt feelings in the future.
It’s a tricky balance between being polite and protecting your current relationship. And in the OP’s case, it seems like a conversation could have avoided a lot of unnecessary stress.
The OP's partner became upset, hurt by the mere idea that they would reach out to an ex.
Here's original post by Reddit user 'nadayada-twy'.
I was with my ex for 4 years, we broke up just about 3 years ago. I’ve been with my current partner for 2 1/2 years, and we have a great relationship.
Today, my partner noticed my ex’s name on my Snapchat “log”, and asked if we still talked. I mentioned that we don’t talk regularly, but that I replied to my ex’s story where they posted about getting a new cat.
The cat was cute, I replied to congratulate them, end of story. Well it ended with my current partner being really upset, hurt by the fact that I would even reach out to my ex. They said “when you break up, that’s it. No more contact.”
I always kept the idea that I should be civil and mature about past relationships; especially ones that were serious. I feel weird “ignoring” somebody who just exists in the world knowing almost everything about me.
I was a bit taken aback by the whole thing, and now I feel like shit. Am I the asshole for congratulating my ex on something?
EDIT: Thank you for all the replies and sharing your thoughts! I appreciate all the perspective. I know the main root of the problem is a lack of communication between me and my partner regarding boundaries with talking to exes.
Here's how the Reddit community reacted.
"You should absolutely be civil."
"Your boyfriend should trust you."
NAH.
Was your partner snooping?
YTA.
"You're allowed to be friendly with anyone you choose."
"Too controlling."
"It always depends on the people."
"This isn’t middle school."
"Being friends with your ex is fine."
"How would you feel?"
Really?
At the end of the day, navigating exes and current relationships can get messy fast. The OP learned that clear communication and setting boundaries early can save a lot of stress—and maybe even a few hurt feelings along the way.
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