Person Congratulates Their Ex On Getting A New Cat, And Now Their Partner Thinks They're Cheating
A 4-year relationship ended three years ago, and OP thought the hard part was over, until a cute new-cat post showed up on Snapchat and lit a fuse in their current relationship.
OP’s partner spotted their ex’s name on the Snapchat “log,” asked whether they still talked, and OP admitted they only replied to the ex’s story to congratulate them. It was polite, it was brief, it was basically cat content and nothing more, yet their partner got hurt and upset anyway, saying that once you break up, contact should be done.
Now OP is stuck feeling guilty for something small, and the real mess might be what “civil and mature” means to two different people.
The OP's partner became upset, hurt by the mere idea that they would reach out to an ex.
Original Post
I was with my ex for 4 years, we broke up just about 3 years ago. I’ve been with my current partner for 2 1/2 years, and we have a great relationship.Today, my partner noticed my ex’s name on my Snapchat “log”, and asked if we still talked. I mentioned that we don’t talk regularly, but that I replied to my ex’s story where they posted about getting a new cat.The cat was cute, I replied to congratulate them, end of story. Well it ended with my current partner being really upset, hurt by the fact that I would even reach out to my ex. They said “when you break up, that’s it. No more contact.”I always kept the idea that I should be civil and mature about past relationships; especially ones that were serious. I feel weird “ignoring” somebody who just exists in the world knowing almost everything about me.I was a bit taken aback by the whole thing, and now I feel like shit. Am I the asshole for congratulating my ex on something?EDIT: Thank you for all the replies and sharing your thoughts! I appreciate all the perspective. I know the main root of the problem is a lack of communication between me and my partner regarding boundaries with talking to exes.
Here's how the Reddit community reacted.
"You should absolutely be civil."
"Your boyfriend should trust you."
NAH.
Was your partner snooping?
YTA.
This echoes the ex who suspected she would not really use money for cats after she demanded cat support.
Demanding Woman Pressures Ex-Boyfriend To Provide Cat Support, He Suspects She Won't Really Use Money On Cats."You're allowed to be friendly with anyone you choose."
"Too controlling."
"It always depends on the people."
"This isn’t middle school."
"Being friends with your ex is fine."
"How would you feel?"
Really?
The whole thing starts with a Snapchat “log,” which is a wild way for OP’s current partner to find out their ex is still on their radar.</p>
OP’s reply to a new-cat story sounds harmless, but it still triggers the “when you break up, that’s it” rule their partner is clinging to.</p>
Instead of arguing about the cat, they end up arguing about boundaries, and OP admits they did not clearly communicate those limits beforehand.</p>
And once the partner is hurt by the idea of reaching out to an ex, “civil” turns into “proof,” fast.</p>
At the end of the day, navigating exes and current relationships can get messy fast.
Now OP is wondering if congratulating a cat was the sweet part, or the spark that burned the relationship.
Before you congratulate an ex, see how commenters reacted to the woman with presents for her ex and his dog. Dilemma For Woman With Presents For Ex And His Dog As He Enters New Relationship.
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