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New Mom Refuses To Let Family Cat On The Bed, Her Partner Thinks It Is Cruel

Damjan
by Damjan
13 Aug 2023

A new mom drew a line in the sand over something most people would never fight about, her 7-year-old cat. In her house, the cat is sweet, clingy, and basically glued to her husband, which sounds adorable until you picture the bed situation.

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OP says she doesn’t want the cat on the bed because of hair everywhere. Her husband disagrees hard, and now OP feels like the “bad guy,” even though she thinks boundaries are normal when you’re sharing a space and a life with a partner who clearly has a favorite animal.

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What makes it messy is that the cat is not just a pet, she’s part of their routine, their comfort, and apparently their relationship’s fault line.

OP asks:

New mom holding cat while husband prepares bed, concerned about hair
Reddit
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She and her husband have a 7-year-old cat. They adopted her recently, and she is very clingy, mostly to her husband.

She and her husband have a 7-year-old cat. They adopted her recently, and she is very clingy, mostly to her husband.
Reddit

OP doesn't want the cat on the bed because of all the hair she is leaving around. However, her husband disagrees.

OP doesn't want the cat on the bed because of all the hair she is leaving around. However, her husband disagrees.
Reddit

OP’s husband keeps treating the cat’s bed privileges like a love language, while OP is picturing hair on pillows like it’s a daily problem.

The Interplay of Pets and Family Dynamics

The relationship between pets and family members is often complex, influenced by emotional attachments and differing values.

Research in family therapy suggests that pets can serve as emotional anchors, providing comfort and stability, especially during significant life changes.

In this case, the new mom's concern about the cat's presence reflects deeper issues of control and emotional security within the family unit.

Now OP feels like the bad guy, but also thinks that there should be some boundaries.

Now OP feels like the bad guy, but also thinks that there should be some boundaries.
Reddit

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:
Reddit

These Redditors believe that OP is simply jealous of their bond.

These Redditors believe that OP is simply jealous of their bond.
Reddit

Once OP started feeling guilty for saying “no,” the comments immediately went to war over whether she’s jealous of the husband-cat bond.

Studies indicate that couples who address these differences openly tend to have healthier relationships.

This is similar to a mom hesitating to remove her allergic child’s favorite cat, while the family worried.

They should've discussed it before getting a cat.

They should've discussed it before getting a cat.
Reddit

Cats like to be around their favorite people, and it is cruel to lock them out.

Cats like to be around their favorite people, and it is cruel to lock them out.
Reddit

Some theories suggest that early exposure to pet hair actually reduces the risk of allergies.

Some theories suggest that early exposure to pet hair actually reduces the risk of allergies.
Reddit

The debate turned into a battle of “cats can’t be trained” versus “you can make rules,” especially after OP floated the idea of designated spaces for the cat.

Emotional Needs and Compromise

Balancing the emotional needs of both partners is crucial in navigating family dynamics, especially in the context of a new child.

This highlights the importance of finding a compromise that respects both the mother's concerns and the partner's attachment to the cat.

Cats are not like dogs and cannot be trained.

Cats are not like dogs and cannot be trained.
Reddit

This Redditor believes that OP is right:

This Redditor believes that OP is right:
Reddit

There is nothing wrong with setting boundaries.

There is nothing wrong with setting boundaries.
Reddit

By the time everyone weighed in on locking the cat out, OP was left wondering if her boundary is actually cruelty or just common sense for a shared bedroom.

One potential solution is to create designated spaces in the home where the cat can be present while ensuring the baby’s safety.

By collaborating on this solution, the couple can demonstrate mutual respect and understanding.

Pets undeniably bring joy, but they also usher in responsibilities.

In the delicate balance of family dynamics, empathy and communication emerge as essential tools.

He might end up cuddling the cat in the bed alone, and OP will still be the one stuck cleaning up the hair.

Wait, this man demanded his wife get rid of the cats he agreed to get. See what happened when she refused.

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