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Girl Who Stays In Relative's House Refuses To Search For Cousin's Dogs That Constantly Run Away, Gets Scolded

Damjan
by Damjan
21 Feb 2023

Taking care of a dog is a huge responsibility. You can't just adopt a dog and wait for others to care for it.

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Reddit user "Gold_Shoulder9442" recently shared a post on the subreddit "AITA" about her living situation with her cousin and her cousin's friend. Gold_Shoulder9442 has recently moved into her relative's house, where she lives with her cousin and her cousin's friend.

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The cousin is rarely home but has four little dogs that constantly escape from the house. The cousin's friend has no issue chasing after the dogs and driving around the block to search for them.

However, Gold_Shoulder9442 has had negative experiences with these dogs, including them destroying her clothes and disturbing her sleep with loud barking. While she is willing to help return the dogs to the house when they escape the yard, she does not want to chase them around the neighborhood alone.

When she expressed her concerns to her cousin and the friend, they argued that she should chase the dogs since her cousin is older and her father owns the house. Gold_Shoulder9442 is seeking advice from the AITA community on whether her reluctance to chase after her cousin's dogs is justified.

Below are some of the responses from the AITA community.

Here's OP's story

Here's OP's story
u/Gold_Shoulder9442
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1. She should report the situation to her cousin's dad.

1. She should report the situation to her cousin's dad.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442
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2. The dogs are not her problem.

2. The dogs are not her problem.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

Understanding Obligation in Family Dynamics

The refusal to chase after the dogs can be understood through the lens of familial obligation. A study in the Journal of Social Psychology indicates that perceived obligations can lead to significant stress, particularly when they conflict with personal values or boundaries.

When individuals feel forced to comply with family expectations, they may experience resentment, leading to withdrawal or refusal.

3. Not her home, not her problem.

3. Not her home, not her problem.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

4. The dog's owner is the one responsible for their care.

4. The dog's owner is the one responsible for their care.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

5. Her cousin is unfit to own dogs.

5. Her cousin is unfit to own dogs.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

Moreover, the concept of 'role strain' often surfaces in family situations where one feels pressured to fulfill multiple roles. Research from the University of Michigan has shown that individuals who take on too many responsibilities often experience burnout and emotional fatigue.

This highlights the importance of setting healthy boundaries to maintain personal well-being.

6. She should consider calling animal protective services.

6. She should consider calling animal protective services.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

7. She could get her cousin a lock to stop the dogs from going out.

7. She could get her cousin a lock to stop the dogs from going out.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

8. They should crate the dogs when nobody can watch them.

8. They should crate the dogs when nobody can watch them.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

Exploring the Nature of Responsibilities

In family systems theory, responsibilities are often negotiated rather than assigned. According to Dr. Salvador Minuchin, effective family functioning requires clear communication about roles and expectations.

When these discussions are lacking, misunderstandings can lead to conflict, as seen in this case.

9. GPS trackers might solve their problem.

9. GPS trackers might solve their problem.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

10. Her cousin needs to learn how to care for dogs before things become fatal.

10. Her cousin needs to learn how to care for dogs before things become fatal.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

11. The dogs lack adequate exercise and mental stimulation.

11. The dogs lack adequate exercise and mental stimulation.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

To address such conflicts, families are encouraged to engage in open discussions about responsibilities. Research from the International Journal of Family Therapy suggests that family meetings can create a space for members to voice their feelings and negotiate roles without resorting to conflict.

Using tools like collaborative problem-solving can enhance understanding and foster a supportive environment.

12. A car may run over the dogs one day if nothing is done.

12. A car may run over the dogs one day if nothing is done.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

13. It's okay to not care about other people's dogs.

13. It's okay to not care about other people's dogs.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

14. She should chase the dogs because she is the only one at home.

14. She should chase the dogs because she is the only one at home.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

The Impact of Lifestyle on Pet Care

Moreover, the dynamics of pet ownership highlight broader societal issues regarding responsibility. Studies indicate that pet ownership can lead to increased stress, particularly when owners feel overwhelmed by their responsibilities.

According to the American Animal Hospital Association, ensuring pets receive adequate care is essential not just for the animal's well-being, but also for the owner's mental health.

15. Dogs escape when humans fail to close the door.

15. Dogs escape when humans fail to close the door.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

16. She would be an a-hole in some scenarios.

16. She would be an a-hole in some scenarios.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

17. Her cousin should kick her out.

17. Her cousin should kick her out.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

18. She should chase the dogs if she's living rent-free with them.

18. She should chase the dogs if she's living rent-free with them.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

19. Her cousin has a right to be upset over her lack of empathy.

19. Her cousin has a right to be upset over her lack of empathy.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

20. She's not obligated to chase a dog she didn't let escape.

20. She's not obligated to chase a dog she didn't let escape.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

What do you think?

Dogs are wonderful companions that bring so much joy and love to our lives. However, as much as we love them, it's important to remember that they are animals and can sometimes act unpredictably.

That's why keeping them in an enclosed space where they can't run off into the road is essential. Not only is it safer for the dog, but also for everyone else on the road.

A dog that runs into traffic can cause accidents and harm themselves, as well as drivers and passengers in cars. By keeping our dogs in an enclosed space, we can ensure that they are happy, healthy, and safe.

Psychological Analysis

This situation reflects a common struggle within families regarding expectations and personal boundaries. It's crucial for individuals to recognize their limits and communicate openly to prevent resentment from building up.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In summary, the interplay of familial obligations and personal boundaries is a complex issue that deserves careful consideration. Research supports the idea that open communication and clarity around responsibilities can mitigate conflicts and enhance family relationships.

Furthermore, understanding the broader implications of pet ownership can lead to more responsible caregiving practices that benefit both the animal and the owner.

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