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Girl Who Stays In Relative's House Refuses To Search For Cousin's Dogs That Constantly Run Away, Gets Scolded

Damjan
by Damjan
21 Feb 2023

A 28-year-old woman refused to chase down her cousin’s dogs every time they ran off, and suddenly everyone acted like she’d committed a crime. The dogs kept escaping from the relative’s house, OP would hear the commotion, and then the same argument would pop up again: why wasn’t she out searching?

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Here’s the messy part, OP is staying in a relative’s place, not her own home, and the cousin treats the whole situation like it’s OP’s unpaid job. When OP said no, she got scolded for “not helping,” even though the dogs belong to her cousin and the escape problem keeps repeating.

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Now the family dinner energy is gone, and everyone’s wondering if OP is the problem or if the cousin is just outsourcing responsibility.

Here's OP's story

Here's OP's story
u/Gold_Shoulder9442
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1. She should report the situation to her cousin's dad.

1. She should report the situation to her cousin's dad.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

2. The dogs are not her problem.

2. The dogs are not her problem.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

The refusal to chase after the dogs can be understood through the lens of familial obligation. A study in the Journal of Social Psychology indicates that perceived obligations can lead to significant stress, particularly when they conflict with personal values or boundaries.

When individuals feel forced to comply with family expectations, they may experience resentment, leading to withdrawal or refusal.

3. Not her home, not her problem.

3. Not her home, not her problem.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

4. The dog's owner is the one responsible for their care.

4. The dog's owner is the one responsible for their care.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

5. Her cousin is unfit to own dogs.

5. Her cousin is unfit to own dogs.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

The moment OP refused to report the runaway dogs to her cousin’s dad, the scolding started flying.

Moreover, the concept of 'role strain' often surfaces in family situations where one feels pressured to fulfill multiple roles. Research from the University of Michigan has shown that individuals who take on too many responsibilities often experience burnout and emotional fatigue.

This highlights the importance of setting healthy boundaries to maintain personal well-being.

6. She should consider calling animal protective services.

6. She should consider calling animal protective services.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

7. She could get her cousin a lock to stop the dogs from going out.

7. She could get her cousin a lock to stop the dogs from going out.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

8. They should crate the dogs when nobody can watch them.

8. They should crate the dogs when nobody can watch them.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

Every time the dogs bolted again, “not her home, not her problem” became the line that set everyone off.

Exploring the Nature of Responsibilities

In family systems theory, responsibilities are often negotiated rather than assigned.

When these discussions are lacking, misunderstandings can lead to conflict, as seen in this case.

This is similar to the woman who yelled at her sick sibling for not taking care of her cousin’s puppy.

9. GPS trackers might solve their problem.

9. GPS trackers might solve their problem.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

10. Her cousin needs to learn how to care for dogs before things become fatal.

10. Her cousin needs to learn how to care for dogs before things become fatal.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

11. The dogs lack adequate exercise and mental stimulation.

11. The dogs lack adequate exercise and mental stimulation.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

When commenters pushed for animal protective services and even locks or crates, OP’s refusal looked even more justified.

To address such conflicts, families are encouraged to engage in open discussions about responsibilities. Research from the International Journal of Family Therapy suggests that family meetings can create a space for members to voice their feelings and negotiate roles without resorting to conflict.

Using tools like collaborative problem-solving can enhance understanding and foster a supportive environment.

12. A car may run over the dogs one day if nothing is done.

12. A car may run over the dogs one day if nothing is done.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

13. It's okay to not care about other people's dogs.

13. It's okay to not care about other people's dogs.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

14. She should chase the dogs because she is the only one at home.

14. She should chase the dogs because she is the only one at home.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

Moreover, the dynamics of pet ownership highlight broader societal issues regarding responsibility.

Ensuring pets receive adequate care is essential not just for the animal's well-being, but also for the owner's mental health.

15. Dogs escape when humans fail to close the door.

15. Dogs escape when humans fail to close the door.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

16. She would be an a-hole in some scenarios.

16. She would be an a-hole in some scenarios.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

17. Her cousin should kick her out.

17. Her cousin should kick her out.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

18. She should chase the dogs if she's living rent-free with them.

18. She should chase the dogs if she's living rent-free with them.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

19. Her cousin has a right to be upset over her lack of empathy.

19. Her cousin has a right to be upset over her lack of empathy.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

20. She's not obligated to chase a dog she didn't let escape.

20. She's not obligated to chase a dog she didn't let escape.
u/Gold_Shoulder9442

By the time GPS trackers and “learn how to care before it gets fatal” were brought up, the cousin’s whole setup was getting questioned.

What do you think?

Dogs are wonderful companions that bring so much joy and love to our lives. However, as much as we love them, it's important to remember that they are animals and can sometimes act unpredictably.

That's why keeping them in an enclosed space where they can't run off into the road is essential. Not only is it safer for the dog, but also for everyone else on the road.

A dog that runs into traffic can cause accidents and harm themselves, as well as drivers and passengers in cars. By keeping our dogs in an enclosed space, we can ensure that they are happy, healthy, and safe.

The situation involving Gold_Shoulder9442 highlights the intricate balance between familial duties and individual boundaries.

The family can keep yelling, but OP’s not signing up to be the leash.

Want another dog-sitting standoff, see what happened when a lady refused her roommate’s friend’s dogs.

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