He Stepped In To Help Train A Service Dog — Now He’s Not Sure He Can Give Him Back
He didn’t set out to become a service-dog caretaker, he just stepped in when his longtime friend Evan fell behind. Spot, the service dog they started training in 2019, was supposed to stay with a veteran who genuinely cared about him. But the moment depression, then addiction, then prison crashed into the plan, everything got messy fast.
Now Spot is stuck in the middle of two lives. Evan’s name is on the paperwork, but for years the Redditor and Evan basically ran “split custody,” especially after Evan’s drug problem got worse, he got arrested, and he repeatedly couldn’t reliably feed or care for Spot. Evan’s current home is a basement apartment with flooding, mold, mice, roaches, and trash everywhere, while the Redditor’s place is stable, clean, and Spot is bonded to another dog.
And when Evan’s release is on the calendar, the real question is whether Spot can survive going back to those conditions.
Spot thrives in the Redditor’s home, where he has stability, companionship, and consistent care.
Original Post
My friend (37M), "Evan," and I (34M) have been close for over a decade. In 2019, he volunteered to train a service dog (Spot) for a veteran. He struggled with depression and couldn't keep up, so I ended up doing a lot of the training.Spot didn't pass certification (only \~30% do), and since Evan is a veteran, he was allowed to adopt him. Even though the paperwork is in Evan's name, we raised Spot together for about 3 years. In 2020, Evan developed a serious drug problem and was arrested. He ended up on probation, lost his job, and had to move.Around that time, my partner and his dog moved in with me, and Evan and I agreed to a kind of "split custody" for Spot so he could spend time in both homes. It's unconventional, but it worked for years, especially since Spot and my partner's dog became very bonded.Over time, Evan's substance abuse worsened. There were multiple times he couldn't care for Spot due to being in jail, rehab, or the hospital, and we would take over. He's admitted that while using, he sometimes forgets to feed Spot and I've worried about how consistently he's being cared for during those periods. I'm also concerned about potential exposure to unsafe situations.To be fair, when Evan is doing okay, he clearly loves Spot. He's paid for all vet care, buys him toys, takes him to the park, etc. But his living situation has also declined. He now lives in a basement apartment that floods, has mold, mice, roaches, and is often messy with trash/food around. It's not a great environment for a dog (or human).At our place, Spot has two attentive owners, another dog he's very close with, frequent social interaction, and a stable, clean environment. Last November, Evan reoffended and was sentenced to 2 years in prison. Spot is staying with us during that time.The issue is: I don't feel comfortable with Spot going back to Evan when he gets out. Legally, Spot is Evan's dog, and he's covered all expenses. But I truly believe we can provide a safer, more stable life. A couple months ago, Evan gave me power of attorney to handle his affairs. WIBTA if I used that to transfer ownership of Spot to myself?Edit: Apologies, I was nearing the character limit. I did bring this up to him and he is against it. I did not intend to do this without his knowledge. I will continue to discuss with Evan and see if we can come to any sort of agreement. Ultimately, I want to have a plan in place for when he gets out in case he relapses or reoffends. We have almost 2 years to continue to discuss it and I will not be taking any action at this time. Thank you to everyone who weighed in and offered advice.
Let’s see how the Reddit community reacted.
This could send him into a mental spiral.
YTA.
You need to talk to your friend.
NTA, save the dog!
Doing this would be illegal.
Also, this feels similar to the Redditor who took legal action after a friend rehomed her dog.
YTA, despite good intentions.
It’s only fair to talk to him first.
You should get some legal advice.
Having POA is about acting in the person’s best interest.
YWBTA.
Wait until he gets out and discuss it with him properly.
Do what’s best for Spot.
It started with Evan volunteering for Spot’s training, then the Redditor quietly picked up the slack when Evan’s depression made him fall behind.
After Evan’s arrest and job loss, the “split custody” deal turned into a lifeline, especially when Evan ended up in jail, rehab, or the hospital.
The bond between Spot and the Redditor’s partner’s dog only got stronger, while Evan’s living situation spiraled into flooding, mold, mice, roaches, and trash.
Now that Evan’s serving a two-year prison sentence and Spot is staying with them, the Redditor is stuck trying to figure out how to keep Spot safe when Evan gets out.
At the end of the day, it’s a situation that doesn’t have an easy answer. The Redditor is left balancing what’s legally right with what feels best for Spot—and hoping that, somehow, both can align before the time comes to decide.
He might love Evan, but Spot deserves a home that doesn’t come with flooding, mold, and missed meals.
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